To make new mum life easier?

[Animallover87]

Due my first baby next month.

I know it'll be a huge life change and I'm keen to try and protect my mental health as far as possible by taking steps to make life a bit easier.

For example, I'm not going to try and breastfeed. I've bought a prep machine and was considering just using ready made formula for out and about to avoid faff.

Having a planned c section which most people seem to recover fairly quickly from and allows me to feel a bit more in control of what's going to happen.

Next 2 me on my DHs side of the bed so he can do the lifting baby etc during the night if I'm struggling with movement after c section at the beginning.

Any other tips, even if unpopular, to make life easier for myself as a first time mum?

Breastfeeding is a doddle compared to feeding with bottles IMO. No washing, no sterilising, no going downstairs in the middle of the night, no packing bags with bottles, bottle warmers, formula etc.

Well, she did post in AIBU.

My next door neighbour died in natural childbirth 2 years ago, so did my aunt...

I agree, I was absolutely grand after my 4 sections, depends on the person I suppose.

Take the prep machine upstairs to bed with you!

I have had ELCS for all three of mine and I would do it again in a heartbeat. Regarding breastfeeding, I combi-fed number 3 right from the beginning and it was absolutely the best solution for me. I’m not tied to him as he’ll take a bottle, I don’t have to breastfeed when out and about if I don’t fancy it but its so much easier to do so, particularly at night. We co-sleep too, and I don’t feel like I’ve suffered from sleep deprivation at all this time. I’m tired, of course, but not the desperate torture of number one who I exclusively expressed for.

She literally said: "I've chosen an ELCS as I want to avoid the potential life changing injuries that CAN come from a VB."

That shows she does not have the knowledge regarding the potential life changing injuries that come with c-sections.

Breastfeeding might be easy for some, but if it doesn’t go well, it can be an absolute disaster, as it was for me. I will be bottle feeding my second. Really not a faff.

Get some rest after your section, get as much help as you can. Get partner to do baths when they start.

And don’t let people come round to see the baby and chat. It’s tiring. Literally only have people round who will give some practical help.

I has an emergency c section first time and it was horrendous, mainly because it was lockdown and the hospital care was disgusting. But i’m also opting for an elective this time. No way would I attempt a vbac. Don’t let anyone else judge your choices :)

The consultant midwife will go through the risks with OP.

I also had this convo and I found it a load of bollocks, things like ‘you can lose a lot of blood from c sections’. IME, my friends who have had 2nd quick births, or been forced to try vbacs are the ones that had to have treatment after severe blood loss, not myself or my friends who had sections.

My first baby has just turned 9 months. Check out the Nuby rapid cool for out and about. I tried keeping ready made formula but once open goes off very quickly. And the mam bottles self sterilise which are amazing!! The triangle milk powder tubs from boots are the best pourers for the milk powder I found they didn't spill or clog as much. I think your c section is going to cause you more Hassel than needed (unless needed medically). I found my baby had colic so I gave aptimal colic milk at 9pm and he slept all night from 4 weeks old. Before that he'd need fed every 4 hours so it was midnight he'd get a bottle even if it was slightly early then down and worked back from there means hubby gave midnight bottle and I gave 4 am so one of us could sleep from 8 pm took it in turns who needed the more rest that night. Ect. Baby grows for the first 3 months for outfits are easiest and despite what people say going to others houses is a stress with what you've to take but so much easier to come home when you've had enough! It's so nice seeing people but it's amazing when they leave if you visit you don't have the teas to make and clean up after ect.

Breastfeeding easier than bottles by far.

DH to do evening shift....go to bed super early (around feeding..express if you can ).Go to bed super early and get sleep in. You are then on the front foot.

Haven’t RTFT. For food, fill the freezer as suggested and buy frozen fruit, berries work well, and vegetables. If you don’t fancy whatever is in the freezer you can use frozen veg for a pasta sauce, fe, and the frozen fruit for breakfast/snacks/desert.

I combi fed because I perceived this would be easier and less stressful, and then stopped formula feeding because buying/preparing/washing/sterilising was WAY more work than getting a boob out and putting it away again. Baby was also way less fussy and colicky when EBF than when having some formula, because it’s harder to digest. Like others have said, feed however you want, but IMO formula feeding is way more work than breastfeeding. Ditto for having a c-section over a vaginal birth. I was up and about in no pain going on long walks with the baby after a week or so, friends who’ve had c-sections have found their recovery very tough.

My main piece of advice would be batch cooking and freezing 2-4 weeks worth of healthy, home cooked dinners for after the baby is born. Especially if you have a section. And have a caddy of essentials (nappies, wipes, muslins etc.) you can cart around the house with you.

Download the Sky remote app on your phone in case you get nap
trapped and the remote is just out of reach! 😊

My tip: try to approach the new challenges and situations with an open mind, try things, see what works for you.

Tbh, I could have written most of your OP. Exception being that I intended to give bfing a whirl, with an expectation of probably landing on combination feeding (rather than beating myself up to increase supply, as I knew some friends had done).

To my surprise, not only was bfing much easier for me than it had been for friends, but it has also been one of the great joys of my life. And it not only makes feeding easier, but also early-days parenting: sad child? Stick a boob in their face!

This absolutely isn't the case for everyone, though. I have (quietly) probably had the best bfing experience of anyone I know.

Maybe you have already firmly made up your mind on bfing, but I really encourage you that it'll make new mum life easier if you try to keep an open mind and just try the various contradictory bits of advice you will get. Because different things work for different people -- mums and babies! That's why there's so much conflicting advice.

Or, if you really just wanted small simple purchasable tips: get a contigo mug. It's a thermos mug that locks shut and is completely spill proof, but then you hold the release open as you drink through the lid. So you can put it down on the sofa next to you, you don't need a coffee table in reach. And you really will not spill your tea on your baby. 😀

If you breastfeed, the advice is not to introduce a bottle for six weeks but we introduced it from day one because of various issues and it meant DS has always taken a bottle so it’s never been a problem to leave him with his Dad or a grandparent. Why not combi feed to start with and work out what you find easier?

I've had fairly easy experiences as a mum both times. I had elective c-sections for medical reasons, breastfed which I had no problems with but it did mean baby was reliant on me for months (which I didn't mind). Used a normal size cot from the start which was on DH's side and he would get up in the night to hand baby to me to breastfeed, and put baby back down again.

Probably the one thing that helped most was having DH home for six months' paid paternity. If his company didn't offer that then he would have taken as much leave and then unpaid parental leave as possible. If that's not an option, any other help like a maternity nurse, au pair or mother's help would work.

I had a planned c-section for various reasons and was very happy with my choice. I did feel like I’d been hit by a bus the first day but once I was home in particular I recovered very quickly - I was back to normal completely within a week or so. I’ve seen posters say that pp they know who had c-sections regretted it but that’s certainly not my experience or those of people I know. I also believe - don’t quote me on this though - that emergency c sections tend to be done differently to non- emergency so are more difficult to recover from.

I did mixed feeding - I really struggled on the breastfeeding side due to my son’s tongue tie and poor milk production on my side. Definitely a Perfect Prep and ready made formula by your bed for the night, with pre-sterilised bottles. That way I don’t actually think it is any more faff at night than bf - and the advantage is that your partner can do it too, which makes life much easier. You will probably come under quite a lot of breastfeeding pressure - I wasn’t bothered before the birth but then it became more emotive afterwards. I suppose I am reasonably glad I did a bit in the end but tbh that was also one of the most difficult things and looking back I could take it or leave it, so don’t let that get to you if you are happier without.

Good luck OP, i hope you have a smooth transition into motherhood. I think the fact you're thinking about optimising this time is already a good indication.

Just to repeat a common sentiment that i found BF easy (thankfully and fully accept some can't or don't want to) as it's on demand, doesn't require equipment or preparation and portable. We did introduce one bottle in the evening after a few months that my husband would give to DD to give me time to myself. Just a thought.

I’m going to be honest but I genuinely think the best way to protect your mental health when you have your first baby is to try to go with the flow. Yes it’s good to have a plan but honestly you have no idea how everything will pan out and being able to adapt and stay relaxed is by far the best thing you can aim for. Saying all this as someone who planned a natural water birth with the first and ended up with an emergency cs and then planned a scheduled cs with the second and ended up with a very unplanned vaginal birth (and that was just the birth but there were a whole host of things that didn’t go as planned afterwards as well!). As someone who likes to be in control I feel that having babies was God’s way of teaching me I can’t always control everything in my life. Oh and last advice, talk to people around you going through the same thing, it really helps! Good luck xx

Regarding c section recovery. The best piece of advice I got was stand up straight and take the pills, even if you think you aren't in pain, take them! It worked for me. I was lucky I bounced back and aside from a minor infection I had no complications. I did bleed for a long time after which was frustrating.
Just remember it's normal to be very teary the first few weeks. The day I got sent home I cried about 4 times an hour!
Breastfeeding stressed me out too much, wish I hadn't even tried as he thrived once we stopped. I got the prep machine, 2 days worth of bottles and prepped for going out. Highly recommend kendamil.
We put the next to me at the foot of the bed with all the sides up so I could get in and out easier as my partner works nights so I needed him by my side of the bed. Get some ready meals in the freezer or make your own before baby gets here. It really helps when you just can't be arsed. Get a big water bottle, you'll need it for contact naps.
Bedroom snacks!
Keep on top of tidying, I can't function in a mess so little and often and it never got out of control. Same with the washing. A little bit everyday.
Good luck and enjoy them. They are never this little again

Having a good sense of humour is the best way to make life changes easier. As my mum used to say, just cuddle your baby as the dust will still be there when you’re dead, that’s exactly what I did. Enjoy your baby, see the world through the eyes of your child, have fun, sleep when your baby sleeps, go out for walks with the pram, take you baby out for meals, days out or visits to family. Have a great time and don’t take life too seriously.

Having had natural birth and elective c section I was shocked at how long recovery from the section took. Give yourself at least 6 weeks before you expect to get back to anything resembling normal. Do NOTHING but essentials for the first couple of weeks. After my stitches were out I took daily salt baths to help with the painful bruising and to heal the wound. Eat plenty of nutritious meals and snacks and stay hydrated. Get yourself a steam steriliser for the bottles and at least 6/8 bottles so if they're not scrubbed immediately it doesn't matter. Take time for yourself and your baby and remember housework can do one for fairly long periods of time....somebody gave me a poem that said.... Cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow as babies grow up, we've learned to our sorrow, so quiet down cobwebs and dust go to sleep, I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep x

Breastfeeding is the easy option, you have 2 perfect prep machines right there with ready made milk, you don't even need a bottle to use them and it's free, genius! That's my tip.

Start online shopping now if you don't already do it so all your favourites are set up. Lifesaver.