am I going mad? Has that nanny thread being deleted or did I dream it?

[Chequers]

Message withdrawn

You'll notice then, that I also mentioned fathers and used sahp not sahm.

Yes, 2 shoes. Basically.

Greensleeves you have your right to feel uneasy about it and voice it. But why do you care? Ultimately it's none of your business.

People raise their children differently.

Nice attitude! I do care about children generally. I think lots of people do. What's wrong with having opinions about other people's social behaviour? It would be pretty quiet around here if everybody minded their own business.

A very loud PARP on behalf of all working parents; my utterly fantastic, hardworking DW in particular.

How eloquent of you. Do contribute to to other intelligent debates in future, won't you?

And I thought yours was rude, but I think we've all made our points at least once today and thought we should move on. You started this, I didn't.

Showing up on a threaded where someone is seeking guidance about managing her nanny and questioning why anyone would want a nanny or even childcare is bloody rude.

And I thought working mothers deserved a defense.

Have no idea why the thread was deleted. But let's pretend you are innocent in the matter.

PSML @DaDaDa

eleusis thanks thought i was stuck in groundhog day

oh and thank you meemar

Feck - you see the downside of this working lark is that you miss all the juicy bits on MN.

But on the whole, I'm with the SnotSleeved person, and we'd all be stuck for something to say if we weren't able to voice an opinion.

the thread was deleted??? i have seen far worse!

Elusius - point well made, again

LOL - my nanny works 7.45am to 7.15pm five days a week. Please roll up to pass comment on my life and my children. (For the record, they are both extremely happy and healthy).

I am entirely unconflicted about my childcare arrangements and happy to answer any questions.

There's clearly a difference between using childcare in order to continue your career and to broaden your child's social horizon (if they go to nursery) and using childcare as a way of getting out of every single parental responsibility including bedtimes, mealtimes etc.

I'm with Greensleeves. She's making a completely valid point about one aspect of using childcare.

eleusis even

I think part of the problem is the term nanny versus childminder or nursery nurse. Is there really much difference? (apart from salary and possibly status)

(But doesn't the kind of nanny/upbringing you are referring to GS only really exist in pretty limited numbers? I do actually know of 2 people who were brought up like this - but in their cases the mothers didn't even work. They were very wealthy families where this was the norm)

Probably Mercy - in fact hopefully - but I didn't specify that on the original thread. Lots of half-baked assumptions were made, as usual

Message withdrawn

LOL at Saggarbottom - yes I hate to miss the good Mn bits. Feck looking after the children and thus missing the good Mn debates - what about those of us who work, and miss the debates - feck that aswell.
HA HA HA

Anchovy how old are your childen? Do you miss them? I'm still on mat leave and dreading going back, need tips on how to cope with leaving her.

To grouphug, re getting balance right with live-in nanny....

please look at childminder, nannies etc thread as lots of people there will have a lot of helpful advice. My DCs sleep in quite a bit - i.e. until about 830am if you let them, but because DD (4.5 yrs old) is in nursery she now has to get up at 745 am, so the early starts to get them to nursery didn't really appeal to us. I also really wanted to be in our house whilst they were young and my DH and i have early starts, so nursery was actually not feasible. Our nanny gives us a lot of privacy we overlap perhaps for 10 minutes after i arrive from work where she tells me anything we haven't talked about in the 3-4x conversations we had during the day. Then she goes to her room to chill, or goes to the gym, or watches a movie. I don't see her in the mornings as they are all still blissfully asleep when i leave. We don't see her on weekends as she normally goes home to her family on Friday night and comes back at c8-9pm on Sunday night. The kids adore her i don't actually feel usurped if she is like another parent -- i would rather that she was - it shows she loves my children and gets to know them very well. As my DD said the other day "mummy, i am so lucky, i have a mummy, a daddy and a nanny".

sorry for the hijack, but since somebody asked.....

Well personally, I do think that having a non-judgemental attitude about people's childcare choices is quite nice.

Of course as a society we care (or should) about children in general. But singling nannying out as a form of childcare which is detremental to children because they aren't being 'parented', is not to do with 'caring about children'. It seems more to do with your own opinions of, and prejudices about nannying.

but its such a tiny sample of parents that do that and yet many people are trotting out their story of how they knew someone who kept the child locked in the babies room and wouldn't let them out until they were 16.

It's giving credance to the idea that having a nanny is a bad parenting choice and thats why people feel compelling to defend having a nanny.

Of course we're all entitled to our opinion (apart from DaDaDa whose opinion is apparently not intelligent enough) - some opinions are just more relevant to a larger group of people than others.

My best friend only saw her parents on sundays and her mum has never worked. She doesnt really speak to her mum or dad, but she see's her old nanny every week and she was at the birth of her twins.

Oh, I can assure you I'm innocent, eleusis. I've just returned from work. The thread was gone by then.

If I had requested the deletion, I would admit to it.

The trouble with threads like yours is that it gives others with a gripe against a particular MNer to get stuck in too. Whilst I don't mind you having a personal axe to grind with me, I do mind when others come on and make generalisations about my posting style. I was variously described as smug, jealous, a shit-stirrer, and a rabid SAHM. I'm a bastard, alright, but I'm none of the above.

There were some personal attacks in the thread, as you knew there would be, and I assume that's why it was deleted.