Workmate being really mean because I'm going on holiday and she isn't.

[MojacarSunset]

I'm going on a family holiday to Spain next week with dh and 2 dc. My workmate has been making digs at me for weeks every time anyone mentions the holiday, I'm not talking about it but it comes up naturally when planning meetings/work etc as someone will ask when I'm off, that kind of thing. Every time she has a dig, "It's alright for some" "I wish I could afford a holiday" "Oh yes, your going on holiday"............it's driving me nuts and I'm biting my tongue!!!
Workmate works more hours than me and has 1 child who her mother looks after for free, we pay for childcare before/after school for 2 children!
Our husbands work in the same service and are on the same level, their combined income will be a bit more than ours as I work fewer hours.
The only reason we can afford our 2-week self-catering in Spain is because I budget carefully. Weekly shopping is £100 for everything, we don't have takeaways unless it's a birthday or special occasion, me and DH both take food to work and don't tend to buy fancy coffee and snacks.
I don't moan when she turns up in a new car or bangs on about the latest fancy meal she has had. I'm happy with my choices but she is driving me nuts!!!!

Our holiday is costing us the equivalent of £50 a week, she probably spends that on coffee and lunch!!!

She's jealous? And a bit thick? So she can't work it out.
I have one in my workplace too. I work part time because I wanted to for my child. To do that, we have old cars and a smaller house than we would like. I never really buy things when I'm out but we have a nice life because we prioritise holidays and days out to museums and parks etc. She grudges my every day off I have but never sees the sacrifices I've made. She has a big, fancy, new car and a large new build house and is always buying things online.
It's annoying but you are not alone!

I would go OTT and wind her up even more. Get some deliveries sent to your office and say ‘Well I’ve had to get me and kids loads of new holiday bits because the resort is 5 star so we need to look the part.’

Have a fabulous time and make sure your tan makes her seethe with jealousy.

People are weird! My boss earns doubles what I do but we go on loads of holidays. We budget carefully, shop in charity shops/Aldi etc and don’t subscribe to all the TV channels, Sky etc she does. She’s outwardly jealous but if she made lunch every day, didn’t buy tat and so on, she could do the same!

It's the tone and context of her comments more than the words themselves!!!
There is a world of difference between a jokey "it's alright for some" and a snide jealous one. It's wearing being around someone so miserable and selfish and she seems to particularly resent me.
I avoid her as much as I can but we work in a large department and some of our work is connected.

I've never had anyone say "all right for some" over an upcoming holiday except in a well-meant, jokey way by which they're really saying "sounds fabulous, hope you enjoy it".

This!

I’ll bet you it’s pissing off some of your other colleagues as well!

Someone once said in a very sarcastic tone “ooooh some people are so lucky going on holiday”
I said “yes, it’s very lucky that we’re able to work hard and budget for the things we’d like to do”.
she was on twice our income with a smaller mortgage/ rent.

I wouldn't say a word to her as you are fuelling her fire.... just go off and enjoy your holiday, if she keeps mentioning it when you get back, then just say what you've told us.
She sounds jealous and could be jealous of other aspects of your life, I'd be careful of what you say to anyone at work about your personal life.

She’s not really a mate is she. Tone her moaning out, laugh it off & keep your distance from her. Sounds like she’s unreasonably jealous - you don’t need that negativity in your life! Have a lovely, we’ll earned holiday!

So annoying.

Really petty but I just want you to say something.

“I’m surprised you can’t afford it too since you have a higher household income and get free childcare.”

”I guess we’d rather spend our money on holidays, you’d rather spend it on new cars.”

I mean it’s definitely better to ignore her but… I just want you to say something 😩

Wasn’t just you, that’s how I read it as well 😂

Smile. Tell her that you can’t wait. That you’ll post loads of photos. And make sure that you remember bring back some sweets for the office

My older sister is like this... she spends every spare cent on designer clothes/handbags and ridiculously expensive home additions such as a marble fireplace and marble tables etc. But makes the worst digs at myself or my younger sister if we manage to save for a family holiday. She gets so unreasonably jealous that she'll text you during your holiday and accuse you of only posting pics to sm in order to rub it in her face which ends up in an argument

I’d be deliberately obtuse and next time she says nice for some say “oh it will, have I shown you the hotel? Or the pools for the kids?” I do it all the time, we’ve been really fortunate this year and been abroad twice because we found real cheap deals in January and April and I’ve had a few people be like your coworker because I’m a student nurse and my partner works for the HMRC wondering how we can afford it, when they can’t.

I’d be tempted to say - we carefully budget all year to afford a foreign holiday.

Confront her like this. Don't tell her she's upsetting you, just tell her to stop sniping.

I’d just smile widely and say ‘Yes and can’t wait, I so deserve this holiday!!’.

Every time she makes a negative comment, just say very gently " Oh, I'm really sorry it's made you so jealous/upset you so much " If she's within reach, gently pat her hand or arm. Be very very very kind.

She'll soon feel so much better she'll stop talking about your holiday :-)

@MojacarSunset do what @littleripper has said basically put her in her place she will soon pipe down. You and your DH clearly work hard and budget so you can afford a holiday it’s her choice to spend differently and not be able to afford a holiday that’s not on you have a great time and make some amazing memories and make sure when you get back to tell her how amazing it was 😁 xx

Oh, just ignore. Some people just go out of their way to be miserable!

I've recently got back from an amazing 2-week cruise. Something I really scrimped and saved for. I enjoyed every minute of it, but there were people every single day bitching about something! I met one guy on the last but one night who thought it was appropriate to complain to the CAPTAIN because one window frame was a bit flaky, and a lift was out of order! Just... bizarre behaviour!

Please please please send her a postcard.

Your work mate is probably unhappy with some facet/s of her own life and projecting them onto you, which is strange, annoying, and unfair. Healthy, happy people do not act like that.

You like to please people to much and feel you have to explain yourself. Even on this thread you mentioned it's "self catering" "no takeaways" ect who cares what it is.
It's YOUR life you're allowed to live how you want and you work for it. You aren't on your ass claiming off the tax payer for your kids you choose to have.

She choose to have a kid now is crying she can't afford anything that's her issue not yours.

Stop explaining your chooses to others she's a jealous creep

Just look puzzled next time she says it and say "Why did you feel the need to say something so bitter?" and move on. Always shuts them up

Yep, rub it in. She'll soon shut up then.