Workmate being really mean because I'm going on holiday and she isn't.

[MojacarSunset]

I'm going on a family holiday to Spain next week with dh and 2 dc. My workmate has been making digs at me for weeks every time anyone mentions the holiday, I'm not talking about it but it comes up naturally when planning meetings/work etc as someone will ask when I'm off, that kind of thing. Every time she has a dig, "It's alright for some" "I wish I could afford a holiday" "Oh yes, your going on holiday"............it's driving me nuts and I'm biting my tongue!!!
Workmate works more hours than me and has 1 child who her mother looks after for free, we pay for childcare before/after school for 2 children!
Our husbands work in the same service and are on the same level, their combined income will be a bit more than ours as I work fewer hours.
The only reason we can afford our 2-week self-catering in Spain is because I budget carefully. Weekly shopping is £100 for everything, we don't have takeaways unless it's a birthday or special occasion, me and DH both take food to work and don't tend to buy fancy coffee and snacks.
I don't moan when she turns up in a new car or bangs on about the latest fancy meal she has had. I'm happy with my choices but she is driving me nuts!!!!

Our holiday is costing us the equivalent of £50 a week, she probably spends that on coffee and lunch!!!

When she says “wish I could afford a holiday” just say that you prioritise holidays over fancy coffees, meals out, and nice cars and hopefully she’ll get the picture and shut up!

This. ^

Enforce your boundaries OP.
Just because you work with her doesn't mean you have to put up with her whinging drivel !

I usually find "we make sure to live within our means the rest of the year so we can afford a budget holiday" a good response.
I've had this many times from colleagues who drink/ smoke/ spend on takeaways etc and then moan they're skint.

I’d just ask her why she isn’t going on holiday. When she says she can’t afford it ask her why. I think why can’t you do X would be my favourite game to play with her from now on.

Or, be a grown up and ignore.

"It's alright for some" "I wish I could afford a holiday" "Oh yes, your going on holiday"..

Don't fume or get annoyed, smile and say 'Yes I am lucky, I'm really looking forward to it, can't wait to show you all my photos' . Let her be the one annoyed!

What is wrong with some people? Somehow they think they have a right to everything others have. It doesn't work like that!

Tell her you will send her a Postcard.

Just say that in your family you’ve prioritised a holiday but understand that other families prioritise other things such as cars, eating out, moaning etc.

oh dear. Good luck to your future employers.

Come on, how many times have you been in a meeting where someone's standard self catering holiday to spain is mentioned multiple times? Especially when almost everyone will be on annual leave at some point in the next few weeks

The colleague just needs ignoring. Gleefully rubbing their nose in it is petty and fueling the jealousy. The colleagues opinion is irrelevant

just dont get people like that-my own sister does it

why ar eyu going on holiday so much-er because i want to-i know she gong through a tough time rightnow but does that mean i cant go away -i dot rub it in her face or talok about

I think you have to keep it entirely professional and ignore her. Once I've had leave approved and let anyone affected know, I leave it and don't mention it again. Then I just set OOO when it's time and go. I can't see why your leave would come up quite so many times to be honest.

Why are you assuming the OP is gloating? That certainly doesn't seem to be the case from what she's posted.

You seem very keen to defend the jealous colleague when it's clear she's in the wrong.

I would be as cheery and bright as possible.

"It's alright for some" - 'Yes I know, we are so looking forward to it!'

"I wish I could afford a holiday" - 'Yes we've been saving for ages for this, can't wait!'

"Oh yes, your going on holiday". - 'Yes, we are all very excited!'

And so on. Relentless cheerfulness pisses people off to no end.

I'd just start cooing and fussing over all her coffees and bought lunches until she gets the hint.

The way I see it, you have two choices. Either continue to put up with it in silence or say something.

It's not really healthy to not say anything though if it means you are going to moan about it to eg your partner/friends/family or internalise it to the point of it bothering you. That's basic adulting, really.

She's her own problem, not yours, but if you choose to let her get to you, and it is a choice, then either do something about it or suck it up.

Sorry if that sounds harsh but I do mean it!

@MojacarSunset ahhh I love Mojacar. We have an apartment there. We used to go every year and kids loved it. Have a fab time!!

I would just totally ignore your colleague.

There are things in life that we can all take with a pinch of salt! This is definitely one of them! Who hasn’t heard these remarks with someone going on holiday?! Get serious!

i would do as
others. say ooh yes can't wait, deserve it after all the saving i have done to get it.
then start talking about where ur planning your next one. thant will soon shut her up. her issues are not ur issues don't play into her evil wee plan to make u feel bad for nothing. me joy ur happy holiday and don't even feel the need to explain urself to ber
again x

Definitely go down this route.

She's sounds ridiculous tbh.

Try not to let her get to you. You're going to have a lovely holiday, she isn't. You're winning.

Op isn't gloating. But posters suggesting they can't wait to rub it into a jealous colleagues face are.

It does sound like OPs holiday is being mentioned an awful lot. Which can be difficult to know what to say, I have never once been in a meeting where someone's holiday to spain has just come up several times unless it's a colleague who talks a lot about their holiday.

I just think they sound quite minor comments which realistically are unimportant if you are happy. A colleagues thoughts on your holiday, and what they chose to spend their money on really don't cross most peoples minds.

I also don't think I've ever been on holiday or gone on holiday without someone saying its alright for some. It's just a normal comment to make when people go on holiday at work

I think you're taking those comments out of context @CarPour

I don't read them as people going out of their way to gloat and make their colleagues feel jealous. They're just reacting to particular colleagues who are passing comment and being rude to them.

‘Well, if I spent a lot on cars, coffees and takeaway lunches, I wouldn’t be able to afford a holiday, either.’

I mean this in the nicest way - so bear with me while I explain.
Your holiday is just a holiday to Spain. Its not a world cruise that is outside the remit of many people.
Lately there seems to be a fashionable “race to the bottom” with a lot of people over the cost of living. Almost boasting that THEY can’t afford this that and the other and picking on anyone that can afford nice things and making them feel bad. Like your holiday to Spain is causing world hunger.

Its weird - nothing stranger than folk.