Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Workmate being really mean because I'm going on holiday and she isn't.

153 replies

MojacarSunset · 16/07/2023 10:57

I'm going on a family holiday to Spain next week with dh and 2 dc. My workmate has been making digs at me for weeks every time anyone mentions the holiday, I'm not talking about it but it comes up naturally when planning meetings/work etc as someone will ask when I'm off, that kind of thing. Every time she has a dig, "It's alright for some" "I wish I could afford a holiday" "Oh yes, your going on holiday"............it's driving me nuts and I'm biting my tongue!!!
Workmate works more hours than me and has 1 child who her mother looks after for free, we pay for childcare before/after school for 2 children!
Our husbands work in the same service and are on the same level, their combined income will be a bit more than ours as I work fewer hours.
The only reason we can afford our 2-week self-catering in Spain is because I budget carefully. Weekly shopping is £100 for everything, we don't have takeaways unless it's a birthday or special occasion, me and DH both take food to work and don't tend to buy fancy coffee and snacks.
I don't moan when she turns up in a new car or bangs on about the latest fancy meal she has had. I'm happy with my choices but she is driving me nuts!!!!

Our holiday is costing us the equivalent of £50 a week, she probably spends that on coffee and lunch!!!

OP posts:
IveHadItUpToHere · 16/07/2023 12:44

You don't sound happy with your choices. If you were, you wouldn't care what a colleague said and you'd be comfortable that you both choose to spend your income differently. You'd laugh off her comments or acknowledge that you're lucky to get away.
I think it's beyond weird that you've put effort into thinking about what her income is and what her outgoings are. She might not pay for childcare but you have no clue what other financial commitments she might have.

Onedownonetogooo · 16/07/2023 12:46

My workmates made constant jokes that I was going on maternity . One in particular.
’Why did you have to get pregnant ‘
’ Its so inconsiderate your going to be off for 9 months !’
’ How can you leave us !!! So selfish’
’ Go I , Trot out the pregnancy card!’
’ You think your so special now your pregnant !’

I know they we’re joking and also sad I was leaving but at times it was quite close to the bone!

DinnaeFashYersel · 16/07/2023 12:50

You don't need to justify your holiday to anyone.

She's obviously jealous. You need to ignore her.

Have a great time. Hope it's not too hot.

Theredjellybean · 16/07/2023 12:53

if your husbands know each other from working together i would be so tempted to say something like ' i know its great isnt it, the bonus the boys got really helped '..and let her go off and fume and query her DH about where his 'bonus' is...or ' i know, i am really lucky now ( insert DH name) has stopped playing in the work poker group we have so much money..he says ( insert her dh name) is still playing every lunchtime..must be a worry after how much he lost last time'

or ...' its so helpful, the only fans work is so well paid'

CapEBarra · 16/07/2023 12:57

‘I don’t know how you can’t afford to go on holiday, Marjorie. Your household income is greater than ours and your outgoings are lower. What are you doing with your money?’

MollysBrolly · 16/07/2023 12:57

Keep calm and say nothing to her. It's not your fault she isn't going away.

DrSbaitso · 16/07/2023 13:02

Sorry, not the point I know, but... "Our holiday is costing us the equivalent of £50 a week"?

You're taking a family of four to Spain for two weeks for £100? I've obviously missed something.

NorthernGirlie · 16/07/2023 13:03

There's a few of these "must be nicers" at work

The main 1 buys a bottle of wine most days, buys coffee and a shit sarnie at work every day, smokes and goes out out loads.

Me and dh each put £150 a month away for our holiday, take lunches to work, make coffee in the staffroom etc. We definitely prioritise a holiday!

I've been blunt with her about her spends adding up to probably more than we put away but she's still a Must Be Nicer

Guineapigwoes · 16/07/2023 13:03

I’d talk about it even more op 😂

NorthernGirlie · 16/07/2023 13:03

DrSbaitso · 16/07/2023 13:02

Sorry, not the point I know, but... "Our holiday is costing us the equivalent of £50 a week"?

You're taking a family of four to Spain for two weeks for £100? I've obviously missed something.

I assumed she saves £50 a week to pay for the holiday

DrSbaitso · 16/07/2023 13:04

Oh, and I wouldn't make any smartarse comments in response. She's clearly jealous and it won't change with the information that she could budget better. Just smile and don't respond. Not worth escalating over something like this and nasty comments like that show up very much as what they are when they just hang in the air like that.

DrSbaitso · 16/07/2023 13:04

NorthernGirlie · 16/07/2023 13:03

I assumed she saves £50 a week to pay for the holiday

Show quote history

That makes much more sense. Thank you.

Original poster
MojacarSunset · 16/07/2023 13:05

I'm not going to say anything to her, she is a sad selfish person who has skin as thick as a rhino. She doesn't appreciate how lucky she is compared to many and probably never will.
It has been good to vent on here and some of the responses have made me laugh.
One week until we go!!!!

OP posts:
wholivesondrurylane · 16/07/2023 13:05

Karrpt · 16/07/2023 11:08

I'd be really over the top about how great it is.

"Alright for some"

"Oh yes, isn't it. Glorious sunshine, beautiful food, a chance to really relax and have fun with the kids." Etc etc

exactly that.

with added "would it be naughty to book another one for this year now, or should I wait until we come back?" tinkly laugh.

And a few "oh i don't know how people manage without holiday, I just cannot do without mine".

Babsexxx · 16/07/2023 13:07

If you call this behaviour “really mean” you need to grow up. Snidey remarks yes mean …lol.

Original poster
MojacarSunset · 16/07/2023 13:07

@DrSbaitso

I wish it was costing £100

I save the equivalent of £50 a week

OP posts:
NorthernGirlie · 16/07/2023 13:08

Babsexxx · 16/07/2023 13:07

If you call this behaviour “really mean” you need to grow up. Snidey remarks yes mean …lol.

Who made you the mean police you big meany? 😏

PurpleButterflyWings · 16/07/2023 13:08

Babsexxx · 16/07/2023 13:07

If you call this behaviour “really mean” you need to grow up. Snidey remarks yes mean …lol.

Sounds like you might be the OP's workmate. Wink

Unclecornelius · 16/07/2023 13:09

Everyday until you go @MojacarSunset enter the office singing
we’re all off to sunny Spain, viva l’Espagna.

DrSbaitso · 16/07/2023 13:09

MojacarSunset · 16/07/2023 13:07

@DrSbaitso

I wish it was costing £100

I save the equivalent of £50 a week

Sorry, it's obvious really. I've had a long week. I need a holiday 😁

Babsexxx · 16/07/2023 13:10

🤣

LaughterTitsoff · 16/07/2023 13:11

notacooldad · 16/07/2023 10:58

Honestly, I’d just zone out and inwardly roll my eyes.

I'm pretty sure this is what most people do when someone says "It's alright for some".

Chill out OP and just file it in your mind as mildly annoying.

8misskitty8 · 16/07/2023 13:11

I get my nails done every 3 weeks. Just gel polish (nails are real !)
A couple of the woman I work with said they couldn’t afford to do that and it was alright for some and I must have loads of money. I work part time they work full time. 🤷
After a few times of them mentioning it, I did point out to them that they get their hair coloured every 6 weeks at the hairdresser and go out drinking most weekends and I don’t. What I do to treat myself is my business.

They always seem to be clothes shopping and going on holiday as well but apparently me getting my nails done isn’t allowed.

Dishwashersaurous · 16/07/2023 13:12

Actually i think that slightly addressing it is a good idea.

everyone has different priorities.

So next time she mentions it, say something like.

"Ooh yes I'm so looking forward to my holiday. Its certainly worth bringing a packed lunch and never buying coffee for."

bluegreygreen · 16/07/2023 13:14

Agree with @IveHadItUpToHere - why does it bother you so much?