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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want my husband to have a glass of wine?

105 replies

sikinos · 14/07/2023 22:31

Ok I know I am being unreasonable. Alcohol is not good for you, and you shouldn’t need it to have fun or relax.

But I really like wine. Especially red. But will drink white and rosé. I have a glass with dinner, or at the bar.

DH doesn’t drink much at all. He does rarely, but even rarer for it to be wine. As such, I can never really buy or open a bottle of red at home as I won’t finish the bottle before it goes off.

Plus I feel weird drinking wine on my own, and feel a little judged (all in my head). DH says he doesn’t much like the taste of wine but moreover he says he doesn’t need to drink to relax or have a good time. But for me, personally, however right or wrong it is, I feel like I far more enjoy an dinner or time at a bar if I have a glass of wine. It makes me more chatty and relaxed. I’m not talking anything more than a medium or sometimes large glass of wine.

OP posts:
Hungrycaterpillarsmummy · 14/07/2023 22:33

Yeh I know what you mean
I mean both me and my husband have the odd tipple. We don't drink anywhere near what we used to (two young kids!) But if I ever have a drink and he doesn't fancy it, or vice versa, the one drinking is always a little disappointed

LiOLeary · 14/07/2023 22:33

But a small box of wine. Those last a good amount of time.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 14/07/2023 22:33

Get some small bottles! Then you don’t have to worry about it going off.

LiOLeary · 14/07/2023 22:33

*buy

Userengage · 14/07/2023 22:34

Buy the mini bottles or save the rest of the open big bottle for cooking.
Leave your DH alone.

Wakeywake · 14/07/2023 22:34

Buy a small bottle? I don't like alcohol and it would annoy me if DH insisted that I should drink.

BendAndStretch · 14/07/2023 22:36

Obviously, you know YABU. Drink if you want, but no one "has" to drink with you. Why don't you get a box of wine? Then you can have a glass in the evening and don't have to worry about finishing a bottle.

Windercar · 14/07/2023 22:36

3 large glasses is a bottle. If you like a large glass with dinner then how is the bottle going off in 3-4 days?

DappledThings · 14/07/2023 22:37

Another vote for the small bottles. MIL can't drink red, she reacts to it and FIL only likes red. So they both usually drink the 250ml bottles each.

NeedToChangeName · 14/07/2023 22:37

You absolutely shouldn't be pressuring your DH to drink more

Buy mini bottles or a box

I hope more companies will start selling half bottles or 500ml

1stepforward2stepsback · 14/07/2023 22:37

I understand. My DP doesn’t drink alcohol
at all, and as I result I drink far less frequently than I would have otherwise. Drinking can be sociable and it feels like you’re missing out on a social activity that you wish to partake in because the person you want to do it with is not interested. It is frustrating and a bit rubbish at times, BUT you do just have to suck it up because they’re perfectly within their rights to not drink and don’t need to justify it or compromise on it for anyone.

Buy mini bottles of wine. Or buy a big bottle and enjoy the half that you wish to enjoy and don’t feel guilty about pouring the rest down the sink if needs be. Maybe use leftover wine for cooking? Or find an alternative drinking buddy, friend, family member etc who you can share a bottle with every now and again.

Original poster
sikinos · 14/07/2023 22:38

If I have a glass of wine it’s usually a medium glass, and then I won’t drink for another 2 days or so.

Not seen any good wine in a box, and the little bottles at the supermarket tend to be overpriced for the amount. Maybe I can get some nicer ones online.

OP posts:
Sakura7 · 14/07/2023 22:38

Windercar · 14/07/2023 22:36

3 large glasses is a bottle. If you like a large glass with dinner then how is the bottle going off in 3-4 days?

Exactly.

One bottle won't go off over the course of a few days.

My DH doesn't like wine, I do. I usually drink a bottle of wine over a weekend.

Worldgonecrazy · 14/07/2023 22:39

Buy a coravin.

YoSof · 14/07/2023 22:41

Worldgonecrazy · 14/07/2023 22:39

Buy a coravin.

I read that as “caravan” and was genuinely baffled for a good 30 seconds!

Augend23 · 14/07/2023 22:41

You need a vacuvin - you vacuum the air out a bottle and it will happily last a week or ten days.

I also buy the odd half bottle (mainly from the wine society).

Finally, any dregs can be frozen and used in cooking at a later date.

1stepforward2stepsback · 14/07/2023 22:41

Just buy a full size bottle and drink as much as you are comfortable with. You can throw away the rest.

It feels like a waste of money, but you’ve spent the same amount regardless of whether it goes down the drain or into your DH.

waterlego · 14/07/2023 22:44

YABU! My DH acts all disappointed when I don’t want to drink. Truth is I very rarely want to drink these days. He remembers me as a fun drinker in my 20s and 30s, and we did have some good nights back in the day, but I can’t drink like that any more and I don’t want to. I enjoy the odd one but feel like he thinks I’m abstaining just to annoy him, which I’m not. He doesn’t get the Godawful hangovers that I get so he can’t see where I’m coming from.

CoQ10 · 14/07/2023 22:45

Augend23 · 14/07/2023 22:41

You need a vacuvin - you vacuum the air out a bottle and it will happily last a week or ten days.

I also buy the odd half bottle (mainly from the wine society).

Finally, any dregs can be frozen and used in cooking at a later date.

All of the above! Wine can be stored longer than you think, just remove the oxygen.

ErrolTheDragon · 14/07/2023 22:46

1stepforward2stepsback · 14/07/2023 22:41

Just buy a full size bottle and drink as much as you are comfortable with. You can throw away the rest.

It feels like a waste of money, but you’ve spent the same amount regardless of whether it goes down the drain or into your DH.

Yes - better down the drain that doesn't care rather than coercing your DH to drink it as he doesn't want it. (Similar applies to food, of course).

But as pp have said, use any excess in cooking, frozen first if necessary.

Hubblebubble · 14/07/2023 22:48

Buy a bottle and use the rest as a nice excuse to cook peasant stews, chilli and other things that get an added depth of flavour from a splash of vinegary red wine.

GrumpyPanda · 14/07/2023 22:49

Another vote for the vacuvin. And your husband is not BU to not want to drink but dearie me, he sounds really patronizing to "not need a drink to have a good time" when "I don't enjoy it" is all that is needed.

Mischance · 14/07/2023 22:50

Leave him be. I am teetotal. No-one ever tries pressure me into drinking. Sup your wine and enjoy it.

JeandeServiette · 14/07/2023 22:51

Some good practical advice from PPs.l about wine storage and so on. If you're honest, though, you could have thought of solutions yourself.

You shouldn't be pressuring anyone to drink if they don't want to, so you just need to force yourself to get over whatever the hang up is.

Thisismeyeah · 14/07/2023 22:52

DH doesnt drink wine, I used to like the idea of sharing a bottle so understand what you are saying, its the social aspect. Now I rarely drink it too. DH does drink though but just not wine