To think personal hygiene caused this

[Iloveburgerswaymorethanishould]

So say someone has developed a HUGE inward abscess on their bottom, really close to their sphincter. Been to hospital etc, it needs to soften before then can lance/drain. Said person showers after work, never at weekends… however for the last 5 weeks they have been out of work whilst waiting for site progression (they can’t do their job until other jobs are completed etc), so have only showered if they are attending something. So let’s say out of 5 weeks of not working I estimate 2 showers…. (Yup grim).
Now they have this anal abscess and the fluid leaking out literally smells of Faeces. They are saying it’s NOTHING to do with personal hygiene, I think it really is. HELP!!’

Everyone is assuming it’s a dp or dh? No chance it’s a ds or df?

How do you sleep with him ?

Im no disagreeing lol. My repulsion I’m him is off the grid!! (Hence seperate sheets under a quilt kind of thing). But I know it’s more to do with this demand avoidance…. If he decides he needs to wash he will etc. strangest thing I’ve ever encountered to be fair, and so unheard of. He genuinely has it but won’t be told it’s a recognised condition… he just says “nobody will
tell me when I need to do something) it’s crap.

Good god his penis and pits must have stunk as well. Surely he was reeking OP

I’d perhaps be more worried about their mental health and sense of wellbeing if they are not washing. The link between them not washing in response to not working would worry me more. Perhaps they need some structure to their days or TLC?

If the not washing was out of character then I'd be extremely worried about this person's mental health.

Eurgh. If it is your husband I hope you're not having sex with him. His dick must smell like the inside of a kangaroo's pouch.

As someone who regularly dresses these types of abscess and packs the bounds after surgery, please try and make them wash before some poor nurse has to endure smelly bum hole

Moving away from the not washing issue I would be encouraging him to get it looked at again. Oral antibodies may not be adequate and it sounds as if he needs to go to theatre for it to be drained and cleaned out . As someone else mentioned if he has a fistula then healing will be prolonged.

You’re totally right of course, I wrote it so must defend anyone who questions when I backtrack. I should have explained his whole situation and problems and how it came about I thought that. And for that i am genuinely sorry… but when it comes to him, and how I know him I needed to know if I was out of order by thinking him not washing could have caused this. I’m no doctor or nurse? I guess I wanted to scream at him that this is cos he doesn’t wash enough…. It wouldn’t work if I did like, but him being poorly and thinking maybe washing more would stop it reoccurring. Might have helped. I dunno. I know not showering doesn’t cause abscesses….. when writing said post I was thinking of this situation, not the situation of many. So I’m sorry
.

Anal abscess aside I couldn't share a bed with someone who showered twice in five weeks.

It shows a complete lack of respect for you, OP.

It’s not out of character… xx Thankyou though, anyone else reading this may pick up on that and it could well help them 😊 .

indeed

A penis beaker would really come in handy here

I'm not being goady, I genuinely can't understand how you can share a bed with a man who only bathes twice in five weeks. Have your standards really fell so low that this is tolerable to you?

Thankyou. They said at urgent care if it hasn’t “popped” in 3–5 days to present at our closest A and E.
It was a solid mass like an egg on Thursday and now it’s weeping and a lot softer. So I think I’m sending him to A and E over the weekend with a 111 feferal of course

If it's infected it can absolutely stink too. I'm used to abscesses and have a strong stomach but I had one in my armpit and my god it was grim because it was so infected

Sounds like a fistula, poor thing. Antibiotics and medical attention essential. It won't be as a result of being unwashed.

My brother has been troubled by a pilonidal sinus yet he’s very clean indeed. He often has two showers a day.

The presence of an abscess or sinus and personal hygiene standards are two separate issues.

I doubt it would have caused an abscess but he sounds absolutely fucking rank. How can you even be in the same room as him far less share a bed?

Lol I did laugh at how your comment mt would be “goady” . Not a post on my acceptance of standards regarding bed sharing.. more a post of frustration that yes, has bitten me on the bottom regarding initial details but has also advised and educated me and potentially anyone else who (probably won’t cos it’s weird) looks for something similar.

He’s disgusting not washing. That’s a whole different conversation and would have a relationship ending.

But I’ve had abscesses and I shower once a day minimum.

If it’s started discharging and smells like faeces then you need to call 111 back, he can’t wait. At this stage antibiotics don’t work, the only thing is draining the pus and letting it heal with anti microbial packing.

but leaving aside the abcess, OP how on earth did you choose to get under the covers or spend any prolonged time with someone who doesn't care to wash.
esp you being someone who steeps herself in a dettol bath.

How can you bring yourself to share a bed with a hairy man, who has showered twice in five weeks, let alone bathe the resultant anal abscess, which smells (much like him, I’d imagine) of sweaty faeces?

I’m nauseated just thinking about that. Fucking hell.