Ridiculously petty things that you can’t even say out loud

[TheSlowRush]

I’ll start.

This has been bugging me all day but I can’t say it out loud to anyone as it’s really not that bigger deal.

Parking is a huge issue where I live, not many people have ORP.

My elderly neighbour got rid of her car a few years ago, we are quite close and she has a driveway, so it was agreed that I could now park over her driveway meaning I am pretty much guaranteed a space right outside my house, rather than having to park halfway down the street.

My lodger has now begun using this space, she works from home a lot too so it’s there for days now sometimes. WAAAaa 🙈🙈.

I can say anything as I will sound like a selfish loon.

Sneezing is completely involuntary and the 'style' is not a choice, surely? Is your DH doing it on purpose then?!

'Oh, cool, a Venus Flytrap for the spare room. I think they need rainwater rather than tapwater - the water arse is full'.

'Where's the mitre box? I don't want a backside joint'

'Watch out for Neddie when you're putting food down, as he's likely to arse everybody out of the way'.

'Can you just bum out of this conversation?'

'I tried to get away, but he wouldn't let go of me, so I headbacksided him and ran'.

'Ugh, I'm sick of cigarette bums being left outside'

'He's fed up of always being the bottom of the joke'.

'Here is my journey's end, here is my arse, And very sea-mark of my utmost sail.'

'Don't pick it up by the barrel, that's dangerous, you should always pick firearms up by the bum'

Butt's an English word. Could also have French/Norman origins due to Butte meaning Mound. Using it for somebody's buttocks (clue's in the etymology, by the way) is something that probably went over with the Mayflower.

I have a polite sneeze and a yelling sneeze I use to startle my children. Sneezing is involuntary, the delivery is not.

I definitely do this. Sorry 🙈 I won’t do it again. Or, I will at least think about you if I do.

This is fantastic and I’ll be using it in future. Sneezing is involuntary, the delivery is not.

@NeverDropYourMooncup

I am now doing chortling. CHORTLING IS NOW OCCURING.

Same here. Infuriating.

Why are some people so incredibly prissy and precious?

They are actually required to take it with the door open. Petty and also uncaring if someone loses their job, iow.
Brava.

@Moneynewpence are you wholeheartedly convinced that this is definitely the thread for you? Honestly and truly?

Walking on a public FOOTPATH, which also happens to allow cyclists: get a bloody bell and use it, pillock!

"Patronising people on MN should stfu"

I don’t think my own spag is that great and I definitely wouldn’t say anything, but I keep hearing and seeing people use resognate in place of resonate and that makes me irrationally annoyed.

Haven't read the whole thread so this may have been mentioned. The sound of flip flops. Slap shuffle slap shuffle UGGGHHHHH SHUT UP!!!!! Made twice as bad because I hate the sight of feet.

I just get up and leave at that point. There is no law that says I have to stay for Ian's monologue.

Not patronising, deeply sarcastic 😊

I'm going to stay on it all day now.

I absolutely hate the term ‘thanks for reaching out’ 🤢.

Yes! Where I am (not UK) they've taken out parking on one side of the street so a heap of people have nowhere to park to make bike lanes, and in the city centre (big city) they've taken out heaps of parks too for bloody cycle lanes! a lot of people (myself included) are pretty p!ssed about it. A lot of the small businesses have lost parking and business too.

@ADHDmother

Here is a gift for you.

@Clementineorsatsuma , funny how he only does it at home! I’ve known him muffle one when we’ve been e.g. in a theatre.

As for ‘choice’, yes, anyone does have a choice as to whether they YELL!! their head off at the same time.
There is no need to ‘voice’ a sneeze!

Especially if you're in Waitrose in Swaffham on a summer's Friday afternoon on your way to your North Norfolk holiday home and you insist on all of you exiting your badly parked Sherman tank-like vehicle and parading round the store, standing at the fish, meat counters with your empty Celebrations etc tubs to conspicuously use to save the planet by not having any superfluous wrappings. Dahling, you're actually quite a source of amusement for we yokels, high-six to you and yours.

What’s with the empty celebrations tubs.
What do they do with them?

Wear a BRA, or at the very least a tank top or cami under the top. I don't want to see your nipples or areola through your top, nor do I want to see your breasts bouncing off your stomach whilst you walk.

You're perfectly able bodied mothers. One of you two needs to take one of your SUV sized buggies OFF the fucking bus and bloody walk, and let the disabled gent in a wheelchair ON.

And as you drift into the centre of the path always remember to turn round and look intently at something, thus removing their chnce to expect you to move for their inflated presence.