Ridiculously petty things that you can’t even say out loud

[TheSlowRush]

I’ll start.

This has been bugging me all day but I can’t say it out loud to anyone as it’s really not that bigger deal.

Parking is a huge issue where I live, not many people have ORP.

My elderly neighbour got rid of her car a few years ago, we are quite close and she has a driveway, so it was agreed that I could now park over her driveway meaning I am pretty much guaranteed a space right outside my house, rather than having to park halfway down the street.

My lodger has now begun using this space, she works from home a lot too so it’s there for days now sometimes. WAAAaa 🙈🙈.

I can say anything as I will sound like a selfish loon.

I'll raise you loud shoes that are slightly too big on one foot, so the rhythm is interrupted by a skip as the heel slides off. If I ever get them in the Secret Santa, I'm going to put a packet of heel grips in.

People walking with their feet collapsing inwards because they need arch supports. That over pronation is putting strain on their big toes, feet, ankles, knees, hips and lower back and they will eventually do themselves a serious mischief as a result, whether by a gradual strain or through a spectacular rupture of ankle ligaments and tendons.

People wearing shoes that are clearly too small for them. No, you aren't a dainty size four, you haven't been since you were about twelve, You're nearer a size six wide fitting and you'd be a whole load more comfortable without your bunions jammed into the points and the flesh of your upper foot popping out the top like bread dough. I'll be sympathetic when you complain that your feet are hurting and the blisters are really sore, but really, just buy shoes that fit your feet in the first place and then any natural swelling will be less of an issue for you.

Walking like Bambi on ice just makes me want to put you safely in a comfortable chair where you can't shatter an ankle at the first bump or trace of moisture on the ground.

And posture - oh, God, posture. Please, please, look at what you're doing to yourself; that anterior pelvic tilt, shoulders rolled forward and head pushed forward will absolutely knacker you physically sooner or later.

I know their pain, present or future, is not my problem, but I really wish I could save them from it.

That was the joke

We have a double sink and if people use the “wrong” one I freak out internally.

in my defence they’re ridiculous, high maintenance sinks that show every single mark and I have to clean them twice a day. They’re beautiful though 😳

Having endless work meetings isn’t work, it’s just chatting.

A friend of mine who is great and I really like her has one really annoying habit which unfortunately means I am going to have to kill her. She is “the busiest person in the world”. It doesn’t matter what sort of day I’ve had or the obvious stress in my life which she knows about, it’s always “well, I’ve got FIVE children so you can imagine that whatever you’ve had to tackle in your life pales into insignificance compared with my day of doing fuck all whilst simultaneously having FIVE children”.

Another friend, great person, love her in real life, hate her on social media. I need to make sure I see more of her in real life so the balance doesn’t tip to seeing more of her on social media because then I’ll also have to kill her. Her crime is pulling a half duck face, not the full one, just slightly pushing her lips forward like a five year old girl in a strop. I think she thinks this makes her look more attractive. She’s 53. I could block her but I feel compelled to search for the duck face photos, I don’t know why.

Cliques should circle around a cauldron.

Supermarket pickers for home deliveries. Why are you ALWAYS in my fucking way? Do it at night when the shop isnt full of customers who actually shop in person and who cant get past your trolly load of orders!

I'd like that book back that I lent you over 18 months ago, work colleague. I lent it because I really enjoyed it and thought you might too, and I'd quite like to read it again. Feels a bit awkward and petty now, after so long.

@Romeiswheretheheartis I feel your pain on this. Am in similair situation but it's been about five years.

On the sneezing. I'm afraid I am going to have to point out that this is mostly a man issue ime. Sorry. Most women don't do the grim performative sneeze. Ditto whistling which thank the lord seems to have mostly gone out of fashion.

Cyclists. I know it's healthy and environmentally conscious but I really fucking hate them. As soon as it's even slightly good weather all these lycra clad bottoms appear to clog up the roads. And I'm in an attractive spot not far from London so at weekends we don't just get our own lycra monsters, we get all of the daytrippers too who want a nice ride in a scenic spot. Though of course they can't see the scenery as they're hunched over a bike staring at tarmac and bumpers so what's the fucking point?! And they never, ever pull over to let people past but insist on you staring at their arse for mile after mile - and it's never a hot guy whose arse you wouldn't mind staring at! A 10 minute journey turns into a 45 minute journey on weekends from April to October, and 45 minutes of slamming on brakes, crawling along and then slamming on the accelerator and hoping nobody's coming round that corner as you're not bloody waiting anymore and are going to risk it. Not even sure it is better for the environment when you take into account all the stopping and starting cars have to do, or whether it's good for health when you're breathing in so many fumes from idling engines. Much better to go for a walk - or a spin class if you can't stay away from the garish lycra.

@Madamecholetsbonnet yes I’m aware that trains from Gatwick have more bags - done it many times after flying back from Calgary. Never come across anyone being selfish. Can be a bit of a case jiggle in the aisle when someone needs to get off or needs to get to the loo.

To my friend - your brother didn't owe you a wedding, FFS. If he wanted to elope to Vegas that's because he and his wife didn't want you or anyone else there. Sulking with him because he 'deprived you of a holiday to Vegas and I've always wanted to go' is spectacularly missing the point.

@dunnoboutthisone yes! There’s a steep, bendy hill on my commute and if I get behind a cyclist they are almost going backwards and I end up in first gear because I can’t see to overtake…. My little car really struggles because you need a speed up to get up there! It’s very hard to follow them up there.

@DemonicCaveMaggot OMG yes, those people at the front of the shopping queue that don't bother getting their money/card out BEFORE the till.

In addition to fiddling about for money/card- they also want to use their lidl app/nectar/morrison/tesco card etc. 'Oh, its in there somewhere, let me see, is it in THIS purse, or maybe that bag, hmm, I'm sure its here- now wait a minute, don't rush me, it might be this one!!! 😡

I agree that Southern trains roof rack is tiny....

Because some people have a disability which means they cannot manage their wheelchair or walking aid AND a trolley. Plenty of older or disabled people do this as it is often the only way they can manage. And don't say they should do it online. For many, the weekly shop is the only time they get out.

Shame on you for being so intolerant

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

My mother was an extreme sneezer, I can't remember ever encountering another actually. Wouldn't call it grim or performative though, she said she couldn't help it and as she was very shy and hated drawing attention to herself I tend to believe her. Still slightly irritating though.

I hate cyclists and cycle lanes with all my heart, whether as a pedestrian or as a motorist. I will vote for any politician who will ban them forever.

It’s the ones using the park as a cut through that get me. Speeding along the paths & demanding you get out their way while you’re out walking the dog or parents are walking their kids to school. If you’re cycling at 20mph, get onto the road! 😡

Cyclists obvs…
thoughts I’d properly quoted, obviously not.

Adults riding bikes on pavements. Ride your bike on the road. If you can't then don't ride a bike.

Parking on pavements. Roads are for cars. Park on the road. If you aren't meant to park there, don't. Lost track of the amount of times I've seen people in mobility vehicles trying to get past without going into traffic.

Also person D - every week you get sucked into some new bs conspiracy. There are no chemtrails. Raw milk is no good if you're lactose intolerant. You can't go on about a health kick and the need to cleanse etc and then the next day post a picture of you eating a doughnut.

To wonder is to think about something, to wander is to walk about a bit.

Look up the meaning of 'awesome' and start using it more appropriately, unless you really are that easily impressed.

You cannot be quite unique, unique means there is nothing like it, so it's either unique or it isn't.

Doors are designed to open and shut so stop hanging your bloody bag over it, it prevents the door from performing its only function. The same with drawers, just close it when you've finished getting your pants and socks out.

Obey the no food waste in an open bin rule, food waste goes in the compost bin under the sink, food packaging goes in the kitchen bin with a lid. You know its to stop the dog rooting the bins after your crisp packets.

Lazy, repetitive questions on Whatsapp groups.

There's a search function.

You're welcome.