Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Some people can only talk about themselves..

109 replies

Whatkindofuckeryisthis · 14/07/2023 12:38

There’s two people at my work (office type job) who only seem capable of talking about themselves. They come to my door and say ‘how are you?’ Or ‘how is your son?’… I answer and they then proceed to talk about themselves. No matter what my reply was! I nod and join in and try and ask questions back and interject with things about me…. For example.. asked about my holiday then told me about when she went, everything they did there years ago and didn’t listen to anything I said, I tried to join in with ‘oh we went there’ or ‘we ate at this place’ and she just talked over me!

It’s the same every time she talks to me and also one other lady is the same! It’s so frustrating that I pretend I’m on the phone when they pass to avoid it!

Why are people so weird?! How do you deal with these interactions?

OP posts:
PureLife89 · 14/07/2023 12:57

There's two guys at my work exactly the same. One I hardly see anymore and the other who I see daily, well I just say hello, I no longer have a conversation with him

It took me a while to notice but when I did, bloody hell, every single time the conversation will immediately be turned around to be all about them

I doubt they realise but it's really annoying

RobertaFirmino · 14/07/2023 14:52

I sometimes say that these kind of people are 'me-deep in conversation '. There's little you can do about them, just avoid getting drawn in and be grateful your own communication skills are more finely tuned.

Frances0911 · 14/07/2023 14:54

I had to end a friendship because of this, it was absolutely draining.

Denimdreams · 14/07/2023 15:00

Whatkindofuckeryisthis · 14/07/2023 12:38

There’s two people at my work (office type job) who only seem capable of talking about themselves. They come to my door and say ‘how are you?’ Or ‘how is your son?’… I answer and they then proceed to talk about themselves. No matter what my reply was! I nod and join in and try and ask questions back and interject with things about me…. For example.. asked about my holiday then told me about when she went, everything they did there years ago and didn’t listen to anything I said, I tried to join in with ‘oh we went there’ or ‘we ate at this place’ and she just talked over me!

It’s the same every time she talks to me and also one other lady is the same! It’s so frustrating that I pretend I’m on the phone when they pass to avoid it!

Why are people so weird?! How do you deal with these interactions?

Same here.
Person would " leave" at 4.30 but come into my office and talk about herself, then tell us she had made her late and rush off annoyed Confused
It always interrupted those last bits of work that needed completing and so I wouldn't get out on time.
Headset goes on at 4.20 now !

MissPop · 14/07/2023 15:04

Conversational narcissism. Incredibly boring people I find but if you’re a good listener you’ll attract them.

Appreciate it would be hard in an office environment mind but it’s most certainly them and not you who is lacking in social skills.

Coconut212 · 16/07/2023 22:15

This is my friend but no matter what we’re talking about she starts talking about her dogs, could be a juicy bit of gossip and she interrupts with a story about one of her dogs. It’s soooo boring

Zood · 16/07/2023 23:03

I have a colleague like this. I don't speak to her anymore but I don't think she's noticed. She says "Hello", asks a question and then launches into ten minutes, non-stop "me, me,me". I've given up on trying to ever get a word in.

XenoBitch · 16/07/2023 23:06

Yes, I have had to cut ties with someone like this. It was getting far too much.
If you had gone to Tenerife, she had gone to Elevenerife.

Infracat · 16/07/2023 23:08

I have a friend like this. No matter what you say she switches it straight to her, her life, her illnesses, her kids, her dogs. Its so rude.

BlastedPimples · 16/07/2023 23:11

And when you have a problem or something that's upsetting, they always bring their own experiences into it. Or their auntie Minnie's experiences. They don't realise it's not about what happened to them. You're trying to talk about what happened to yourself right now.

Allmyghosts · 16/07/2023 23:12

I remember my mam pulling me up for saying things twice, I hadn't realised I was doing it but it was because no fucker listened. I don't think my ex ever asked me for my opinion about anything the deepest question he ever asked was if I wanted tea? Think its quite prevalent.

youhavenoshameonyourface · 16/07/2023 23:13

We have someone like this at work. Its so rude. The amusing thing is - she has just got a new boss and he is even worse than her. He can talk about himself for an hour at a time non-stop. I have no idea how they're going to communicate 😆

nasanas · 16/07/2023 23:14

I'm autistic and I used to do this because I thought that was how you communicated during conversations. You ask about the person then find something of your own to help connect with them.

Turns out I was just being a total knob. I had no idea.

Allmyghosts · 16/07/2023 23:16

nasanas · 16/07/2023 23:14

I'm autistic and I used to do this because I thought that was how you communicated during conversations. You ask about the person then find something of your own to help connect with them.

Turns out I was just being a total knob. I had no idea.

I get that though, I mean you listen enough to tell an accurate story (I might be a bit guilty of this too).

Thepeopleversuswork · 16/07/2023 23:17

A surprisingly large amount of people basically only ever want to talk about themselves. Some are better at hiding it than others.

ThatFraggle · 16/07/2023 23:17

We had a sort of reunion with about 10 uni friends. One just completely monopolized the conversation. We were all looking at each other like wtf.

When one person tried to steer the conversation to open it up, that would be a launchpad for another monologue.

BlueberryElderberry · 16/07/2023 23:17

I have a friend who I have now distanced myself from who is like this.
Messages always start with a ‘how are you?’ from her then she ignores my reply and talks about herself instead ( the real reason she messaged me). It’s annoying and draining.

Lemonyyy · 16/07/2023 23:18

I have some colleagues like this, they’re very young, I think they’ll get over it at some point. One of them was sat in the staff room the other day and she kept announcing to the room that she had so much great stuff on at the weekend and absolutely no one would bite lol, I had to hide my face the third time she did it, she obviously wanted someone to ask but no one wanted to get drawn in!

Weal · 16/07/2023 23:18

I can be guilty of this, and I try to be more aware of it now. I’m not self obsessed just don’t have great social skills.

I can see it must be really annoying so I always try to be aware of my tendnacy.

Belizenavidad · 16/07/2023 23:19

You’ve been to Tenerife, they’ve been to Elevenerife 😂

Lemonyyy · 16/07/2023 23:20

I think also more people are lonely and look to dump their stuff on other people because they have fewer connections in life generally. Overstating can be a sign of some social difficulties.

Lemonyyy · 16/07/2023 23:20

That’s oversharing not overstating….

Thepeopleversuswork · 16/07/2023 23:21

nasanas · 16/07/2023 23:14

I'm autistic and I used to do this because I thought that was how you communicated during conversations. You ask about the person then find something of your own to help connect with them.

Turns out I was just being a total knob. I had no idea.

At least you recognise it though.

My dad was like this.

He was literally incapable of having a normal conversation with anyone, it was more like a tennis match: any remark from the other person was an immediate prompt for him to come back with his views or experiences. He had no capacity to listen at all. I don't know if he was ND or if he just lacked the patience to consider that other people like to be listened to but no-one ever pulled him up on it and my mum used to just indulge it.

It took me a really long time to realise that this wasn't normal.

SemperIdem · 16/07/2023 23:21

I don’t really understand these threads - these all read like conversations? People trying to empathise?

SemperIdem · 16/07/2023 23:22

Belizenavidad · 16/07/2023 23:19

You’ve been to Tenerife, they’ve been to Elevenerife 😂

Ah ok - disregard my previous post. I get it now, the one upmanship vibe sort of people.

Swipe left for the next trending thread