What is going on with British kids?

[FrenchAreDoingSomethingRight]

On holiday in France. An upmarket holiday camp and we are the only British family here. It was recommended by a French friend and I didn't realise it only has French families on holiday

Dinner is set 3 course dinner. My kids are 5 and 3. My older boy has ADHD we think (referred by school), our younger one doesn't as far as we know. Both kids are trying their hardest at dinner. There is v loud music playing and the pool party bit is still open. They run off after every course for a dance. Older one tries to stand up sometimes. We have colouring in books etc. Really they're fine. At restaurants and pubs they are totally average in terms of being able to sit at the table. No screens.

Not a single French kid has done anything wrong. No screens or even colouring. They might not all be talking to their parents but every single one is sitting through the whole 90 min dinner and waiting to dance at the end. So patient.

Do no French kids have ADHD or ND? Or even just kid like and cheeky? I have always tried my best with dinner times but these kids aren't even considering running off.

What is going on???

Gosh, I think there's some truth in that! I also sat through mass every Sunday til 15, nothing like it for training you to sit quietly when you're bored and reciting the same lines you've recited every week for the ages.

I’m from another European country, husband is British. Both have children from previous relationships. This weekend we are all flying on holiday abroad - I have banned devices including mobile phones for the younger dc. They are expected to manage without, enjoy their holiday and to behave.
The first thing DH has packed for his dc is devices: iPads, nintendos, spare battery packs , headphones and chargers. Because “otherwise they’ll be bored during the journey”.
i know it’s just one example but it illustrates the difference in expectations

You think most English people don't use cutlery

😂😂😂

We weren't allowed a book! All it took was a look from mom or dad!

Our kids - raised in U.K. have always sat through meals with us without fuss but we have zero tolerance for mucking about or screens and we talk to them, include
them etc

On hols in France though we have seen plenty of French kids on screens and messing around! Depends on the place I suppose

This.

@LMNT

out of interest, what would an average French child eat in a day?

Agree. I can’t believe how many people are saying a colouring book in a restaurant for a young child is the crime of the century 😂 get a grip and lighten up.
I honestly think it’s this wannabe class thing on mumsnet, so many mumsnetters buy into this idea that France is so superior, they have this stereotype idea in their head of this Breton wearing brunette sipping coffee and eating a meal while their children sit quietly staring at the wall and they simply must keep up with this caricature.

are they? We mock other nations, but I've never witnessed worst behaviour than Brit tourists.

Do the French or the Spanish even have equivalent of our "Brit abroad" entire towns and that sense of entitlement everything must be in English and British? The behaviour follows.

But why don’t British parents parent anymore? Are we just more knackered because of our economy or something? It hit me that the French rioted when retirement age went up to 63 and we’re grudgingly working till 68.

Well we certainly are, breakfast and dinner in the week plus lunch at the weekends. What do you think people do? Sit on the loo with a pop tart?

Exactly this!

it always feels sad to see a family on holiday no one talking, everyone looking at screens, together but apart.
sure it’s a little more effort to engage and talk with small kids - but it’s so part of building real social, listening and talking skills.

maybe these parents simply still focus on these things

I'm in France at the moment. I've seen plenty of kids with colouring books or similar distractions, slightly older kids on phones, and quite a few finding it all a bit much and having a crying fit. I can't say it has struck me as vastly different to UK behaviour really.

For a very long time I believed that it was absolutely essential to sit down at a table and share a meal with a 'family'.

I let it go though. It does't suit everyone and teenagers in particular like grazing. Making their own snacks.

Can't see the value of enforced round a table eating.

Brilliant if you are out at a restaurant and someone is helping i.e. waiter etc. and doing the washing up, but as a rule not necessarily.

I know that one!
We used their example to complain about the menus for the children.

Unlike Brit kids who are fed pasta and potatoes at pretty much every meal, the French have vegs at every meal, and fish or meat, real yogurts and fruits.

What a disgusting comment. My A* Dd dropped out of A levels due to sensory overload at school. She couldn’t cope with the environment despite wanting to do A levels.

And attitudes like yours really really help the neuro diverse community amazingly. Rock on🤮

The French really aren’t so great at parenting.
On holiday last year I was told in no uncertain terms that my physically disabled child was a disgrace, and that no one wanted to see “it” and I should take “it” indoors, or better back to England.
He‘s NT but v physically disabled with surgical scars visible ( he had craniosynostosis, so the scar is ear to ear)

@LuckySantangelo35 they eat a lot of eggs, meat, fish, cheese, vegetables and seasonal fruit. Small amounts of bread, a slice with breakfast probably. They don’t snack so eat bigger meals. They eat lots of healthy fat and protein and lower carbs.

My DDs school lunches were fresh veg and meats with cheese and a piece of fruit for dessert.

@FrenchAreDoingSomethingRight why are you generalising with "British kids"? Not all "British kids" have poor table manners. My children are perfectly well mannered sat around a table in a restaurant, no screens etc. We do this thing called engaging in family conversation when dining out. Our children are very much part of the conversations rather than sat bored whilst adults just talk about adult things. No authoritarian parenting here, only gentle parenting in our household. We are often complimented by strangers on how well behaved our children are when out.

Some of us think it's actually quite nice to have a chance to catch up and talk as a family, instead of being a zombie in front of the TV, mindlessly shoving any food in our mouth.

It's healthier too, as a country we over-snack, and look at the result.

So french kids aren't off dancing? What's the point in the party ? Sounds like they've all got the wrong idea to me.

Agreed. I was an au pair in France for 6 months and was really shocked at the very harsh and rigid discipline. Fitting in and conforming to certain standards was hugely prioritised. Decided at that point that much as I loved the country it wasn’t somewhere I would like to bring up young children. And that’s before starting on the schools . . .

We're currently on holiday in a large resort and are one of a handful of British families. The vast majority of very young children are either on devices in their buggies or tearing round the buffet screaming and causing general mayhem. It is definitely not just British DC who struggle with sitting calmly.

That’s also my experience