What is going on with British kids?

[FrenchAreDoingSomethingRight]

On holiday in France. An upmarket holiday camp and we are the only British family here. It was recommended by a French friend and I didn't realise it only has French families on holiday

Dinner is set 3 course dinner. My kids are 5 and 3. My older boy has ADHD we think (referred by school), our younger one doesn't as far as we know. Both kids are trying their hardest at dinner. There is v loud music playing and the pool party bit is still open. They run off after every course for a dance. Older one tries to stand up sometimes. We have colouring in books etc. Really they're fine. At restaurants and pubs they are totally average in terms of being able to sit at the table. No screens.

Not a single French kid has done anything wrong. No screens or even colouring. They might not all be talking to their parents but every single one is sitting through the whole 90 min dinner and waiting to dance at the end. So patient.

Do no French kids have ADHD or ND? Or even just kid like and cheeky? I have always tried my best with dinner times but these kids aren't even considering running off.

What is going on???

Because British parenting is crap. And our society prizes poor behaviour and low standards - starting with screaming/misbehaving as a kid, getting pissed and stealing traffic cones as a teenager, then shagging somebody in a hot tub in Love Island. We seem to find it funny and entertaining when people act like feral idiots, and people think it’s cool to pretend to be thick.

French society is completely different, it’s seen as embarrassing and childish to act like that. They value intelligence, maturity and manners, and take their presentation in the world very seriously. Maybe a bit too seriously at times but it’s much better than the depressing state of many people over here.

That’s my take on it having spent quite a bit of time over there.

@FluorescentDucks people are literally describing negative traits they supposedly witness of ‘British children and parents’ so yes, they sort of are saying they are all the same aren’t they?

& who are you random internet stranger to question the delightfulness of me and my children? We’re all very nice people, thanks.

They might not sit around a restaurant table without moving for hours on end but they are decent and kind so really who gives a shit? I would hazard a guess that my children are actually kinder more tolerant people than you are as an adult.

I think the problem is absolutely knackered British parents who just want to switch off and enjoy sitting down for the first time in 6 months. It's hard to find the energy to deal with young kids demanding your attention when you're working 3 jobs to keep the roof over their heads. French parenting would be the same if they didn't have such strict laws about employers working people to the bone.

Fluff? It's been here for a long time already!

I suspect that ND kids who can sort of muddle along aren't diagnosed because of the stigma. That would explain the apparently lower rates.

You alright there? You seem a bit triggered.

It’s interesting the French are compliant as children but as adults, they generally don’t like rules and governance.

They’re more likely to strike/protest/riot for something they want, which I actually like about the French. I like the way of life out there and it’s been hard fought for.

Pre DC I took a Eurostar home to London from Paris - in the same carriage arranging themselves near me was a French family with Mum and Dad and 5 kids aged probably 3-12. My heart sank thinking I was going to have to listen to these kids shrieking, watching screens with no headphones, kicking the seats, making a mess with their snacks and drinks etc. The Papa disappeared to another carriage! The Maman closed her eyes for a sleep! My eyes were rolling and I had my judgey pants hoiked up high I can tell you.

The kids had something unbelievable for entertainment like a sticker book a bit of paper and 3 crayons between them and you wouldn’t have known they were there the whole journey. Talked quietly, did some drawing, made a sticker collage.

Maman had a nice doze. Don’t know what Papa did with himself, he came back to get the bags off the train when we got to London. and I had a word with myself about my assumptions about children.

@wholivesondrurylane No I’m alright, thanks though. Do you have any children?

Heavens above,
I would watch the assumptions there love.
If you came out with that rubbish round here you wouldn't last long...

Are you not a random internet stranger yourself then? Isn’t that kind of the point of a discussion forum? I am glad your children are decent and kind, good traits to have.

The French can't opt out of the 48h working time limit. We can, which creates a race to the bottom in terms of pay rates that people are able to work for to make ends meet.

Around where?

I do remember getting in trouble for playing I spy with the pamphlet 😀. I did notice a few years ago when i was learning about sensory processing regarding my son that the seemingly pointless up and down and kneeling/ sitting is actually sensory regulation, designed to refocus attention. Definitely not a coincidence, and it's usually timed just right for the average person.

@FluorescentDucks yeah but I’m not making digs at yours or another random internet strangers children, like you, am I?

Did you just want to bypass the not all British parents thing now?

Agree, so much sweeter. Although I did try pop tarts ( when I was a student at Oklahoma Uni ) I will admit. Burnt my tongue as I ate it straight from the toaster.

Kids have tried them too, but too sickly sweet.
Three French flat mates ( I say that given this is a thread about the French ) whilst in US loved the marshmallow spread and tarts. Go figure🤣!

Of course I do have children. Which is why I spend far too much time in places with other people children 😂

But apparently teaching your children some manners and just normal parenting is child abuse for some people.

I agree. Everyone would rather be defensive than examine our society to give our kids the best possible chance.

My DS5 can handle dinner in a restaurant.

We eat every meal at home at the dining table and, we do not allow screens at the table. It's rude.

You have to teach table manners from when they start weaning and lead by example.

No screens- talk to each other.

He is however NT.

The depths of depravity in deepest deprived England.
Meaning the place where parents don't insist their kids sit at a table three times a day to chat...

...and cruelly leave them to forage in the fridge when they come home, only occasionally listening out for the opening and closing of the fridge or indeed checking what is missing from the kitchen in order to monitor slowly their vitamin/protein intake.

Outrageous parenting i know. Thing is I've noticed no amount of cooking I will do changes anything...its fine she eats...

Tartines with nutella for gouter, madeleines, crepes...

French kids absolutely are fed pasta and chips, where on earth does LMNT live, the Grotte de Lascaux? French kids eat all of these things. Especially bread, try telling the boulangerie that French people don't eat bread 😁

@Mumtothreegirlies seem to have a problem with not everything being black or white. Nurseries especially are evil. All kids in nursery are lost. Not like her own perfect three little girlies.

Are you one of ‘those’ then

Defo not defensive. I think dc are doing pretty well