What is going on with British kids?

[FrenchAreDoingSomethingRight]

On holiday in France. An upmarket holiday camp and we are the only British family here. It was recommended by a French friend and I didn't realise it only has French families on holiday

Dinner is set 3 course dinner. My kids are 5 and 3. My older boy has ADHD we think (referred by school), our younger one doesn't as far as we know. Both kids are trying their hardest at dinner. There is v loud music playing and the pool party bit is still open. They run off after every course for a dance. Older one tries to stand up sometimes. We have colouring in books etc. Really they're fine. At restaurants and pubs they are totally average in terms of being able to sit at the table. No screens.

Not a single French kid has done anything wrong. No screens or even colouring. They might not all be talking to their parents but every single one is sitting through the whole 90 min dinner and waiting to dance at the end. So patient.

Do no French kids have ADHD or ND? Or even just kid like and cheeky? I have always tried my best with dinner times but these kids aren't even considering running off.

What is going on???

I am not assuming anything. I read the same news and have access to the same statistics as you do. We do have an obesity crisis in this country.

I am curious why you are so outraged that a random stranger on an anonymous forum would picture you and your family watching tv. Why on earth would you care?😂

Yeah I’m a pleb. Common as muck me.

As my children are older, we’ve been out for a very rare treat of a breakfast, where we’ve had to endure two set of grandparents loudly sing nursery rhymes to a toddler, while we were trying to eat

Omg, what did you do? 😂

"Let them eat cake..."

😉

Yeah pop tarts do still exist - I just checked

This whole thread should be a big flashing neon clue..
so many excuses rather than admitting we and our kids aren’t doing as well as others. Our kids have the worst mental health, terrible physical health and are unhappier than most other countries kids and that’s despite the fact we pamper, pander and protect them. It’s never going to improve unless we admit it and swallow some home truths.

Same here. It was very hard work but we used to keep them at the table by talking, word games, engage in lots of ways, anything but screens.
I don't think it's possible to make children sit nicely at the table just because you tell them to, you have to work at it.

I agree. I know a family who are raising six children, four of their own and a couple of nephews/nieces. The children are lovely, polite, confident, engaging, kind, empathetic, they really are a joy to meet. They have a wonderful life, travel a lot, and know exactly how to behave at restaurants. They are that way because their parents have certain expectations.

They gain money. It’s not politically correct and we’re not supposed to say it out loud but I’ve had several parents tell me to my face throughout my teaching career that they want the diagnosis in order to claim further benefits.

On the other hand it took around 20 years of hard work to learn how to be involved in a conversation without fearing humiliation for having said the 'wrong thing'...

Autistic, so this with compound loan shark levels of interest. The problem with "children should be seen and not heard" is that even the NT ones don't know how to converse.

Even in nursery school the children sit down to a three course lunch at the canteen. This, of course, continues to the end of their schooling years and they have supervision so nothing gets out of hand. Dinner is later the in the UK so they are used to late evenings. In some families respect towards their elders is taught so they are silent, if they weren’t they may not be allowed to the next family meal and none would like to miss that.
Some children having ‘fun’ could be called unsociable to others.

I don't.

You are assuming that I do.

We've never had a t.v and have no intention of buying one.

Strange that you think we would be 'outraged'.

really strange.

The people getting pissed off here are likely the people behaving in the same way going on holiday. As are their kids. 😂

Ok so we admit it then what?

Some people seem to think that saying no to your child and having clear expectations is almost on a par with smacking and abuse. Some people also seem worried about their child being bored if they are not entertained every minute. Even if you don't use screens during a meal, the almost ubiquitous use of screens, on demand TV etc has led to an inability for children to just 'be'. They constantly have to be on the go, onto the next thing and have little patience and little concept of the fact that their needs and opinions may not always be able to be dealt with immediately and they may have to wait. Someone posted recently that even something as basic as the lack of adverts between programmes and having to wait for the next episode of something rather than having it immediately available. I'm sure French children face this too but if they are being taught patience and the ability to wait and not immediately having your needs met during mealtimes from a young age, I can understand why there would be such a difference.

I agree with that. I've unfortunately shared a hostel with just french teens and they just pissed all over the bathrooms. Their behaviour was atrocious.

Why does anyone expect kids to do this? It's not aspirational. It's unnatural, unnecessary and purely for the adults benefit. Either that or to keep up with pointless social niceties.

I just don't understand why we can't embrace childhood and allow child the freedom to be themselves.

And no, my kids don't have screens in restaurants. That's not my point, it's the pointless obsession with having them glued to seats, participating in adult conversation. They are not adults. Why should they pretend to be? Why can't they socialise like children?

Lol!! Don't be daft. Children should be made to conform - otherwise they are seen to be brats

I am aware the exist. Thanks. Are the a common thing in the UK for kids to eat was my question?

Well, if the assessment staff do their jobs, the NT kids won't get diagnosed. Annoys me that greedy CFs are taking up spaces on the waiting lists though.

Er... who exactly are you talking about?

There is this thing in psychology called projection.

@FluorescentDucks uncomfortable truth!

y and y would be good

you are the one who used capital to express your outrage.

I do like your contempt against a tv, when you are wasting the same time on the internet on MN 😂

Oh they do. I am ashamed to say they were my pregnancy craving with dc1. Although I can testify from the reactions of my friends that they are certainly not commonly eaten anymore 😂