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AIBU?

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Original poster

Teacher gifts - ungrateful shit!

530 replies

Hufflemuff · 13/07/2023 09:23

More of a rant than a question to be fair!

I was listening to Heart radio this morning and they had a teacher on called "Mc Grammer" (a rapping teacher - cringe) who was discussing teacher gifts and "what not to buy"...

He said one of the worse gifts he ever got from a student was a Rock - because the pupil said "he rocked" (aww) and some Doritos because that was the pupils favourite crisps (bless). He also said mugs were mostly an unwanted present "there's only so many cups of tea you can drink" apparently.

He said in the past he's gotten an Arsenal shirt, Nando's gift sets and gift cards... He said you should get to know the teacher to find out what they like and buy them something personal to them.

AIBU to be totally pissed off by this mans arrogance. It was totally tone deaf during the middle of a cost of living crisis to suggest parents buy gift cards (the minimum of which is usually £10) and other expensive presents in order for it to be considered a worthwhile gift. The fact he poo-pooed that boys rock as "one of the worse" gifts, which admittedly you wouldn't put on your mantel piece but the sentiment was there. He didn't consider that the boys parents might not have the money to buy a 'real' gift but he still wanted to give him something.

Ah!!! I was so very cross. It was the expectation to get something as a certainty and even then, he might not have been satisfied with it.

I have teachers in the family and they are always happy to get anything at all, no matter what it is. I think he was a really bad representation of all those caring teachers and Heart did the profession a real disservice by having him on.

Rant over! Gah!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
MrsHamlet · 13/07/2023 20:46

I've had gin, shoes, toilet rolls, monster munch, makeup, chocolate, paperclips, books and book tokens, pot noodles, mugs and plants. All of them were special :)

Noseylittlemoo · 13/07/2023 21:11

Sorry I haven't read the whole thread but I come to this from a slightly different angle. I'm not a teacher and I don't have any children. But I work in a shop where parents always come to buy 'teacher gifts' at the end of June /start fo July . It makes me laugh as I can tell from the items that come to the till that they are teacher gifts. Often ppl don't take a gift receipt because who could not like x item. I don't like to say yeah but you're the 10th person who's bought it today for a teacher. Chances are the local teacher has a lot of the same thing!
And low and behold come mid July we have all the teachers returning/exchanging the teacher gifts/gift sets.
I don't get a gift from my customers for doing a good job for them every year but that's a whole other story...!!

Whodunnittt · 13/07/2023 21:36

@Noseylittlemoo thats because retail is much easier than teaching.
Sorry, but you can't compare the two.

carduelis · 13/07/2023 21:42

In my very first year of teaching my Year 7 class (who I adored) were horrified to discover I cycled into school because I didn’t have a car. They promised they’d club together to buy me one at the end of the year and it became a bit of a running joke (“sorry I forgot my homework, but don’t forget we’re going to buy you a car…”)

At the end of the year they proudly presented me with a beautiful little silver toy Mini. It’s still my favourite ever teacher gift (and I’m still
cycling into school 20 years later!).

IsThatHuw · 13/07/2023 21:46

At my DC school they do not allow/accept individual teacher gifts from parents. You can give anonymously to a central pot that is shared between all staff. Cards only to teachers.

I’m happy with this and know people do contribute. It’s right that TAs and the broader staff are recognised as it’s often not just the class teacher who has supported my child.

Stops all this nonsense as well.

RiotC · 13/07/2023 21:55

My favourite gift I ever received from a child was a rock. They wrote a poem on it in sharpie and carried it a mile from the beach. I still have it 15 years later.

LyndaSnellsSniff · 13/07/2023 22:10

My 1:1 has given me a portrait (of me) and an Easter card that he made by himself. Given that we can barely get him to stay in the class most days, I shall treasure those forever. 🥰

Dangerpudding · 13/07/2023 22:32

My most memorable gift was a mini £1 box of Guylian seahorses because the student told me they had spent their own money on a present to thank me for being their teacher. The sentiment is the important thing, no need to be ungrateful.

Phos · 13/07/2023 22:42

I have some friends who are teachers who delight in showing their "haul" on social media and telling us how they've "done well this year"

They'd hate to be teachers at DD's school. Rather than shower them with endless chocolates and bottles of wine, we all put in a certain amount and split this between the class teacher and TAs (the main teacher getting a little more) towards a nice gift card, and some small gifts.

wholivesondrurylane · 13/07/2023 22:50

I don't get a gift from my customers for doing a good job for them every year but that's a whole other story...!!

if you were spending 6 hours a day helping with their kids for a year, you probably would.

Fizbosshoes · 13/07/2023 22:58

We've often been on a budget in the past, and not had a lot to spend on teacher gifts. One year DD made home made truffles for her teacher. She knew the teacher had (iirc) a gluten free diet and looked up an appropriate recipe.

But having joined mumsnet apparently homemade food is a big no no and nobody eats it....😬

PrtScn · 13/07/2023 23:01

I don't understand why you'd buy a teacher anything at all personally.

Amybelle88 · 13/07/2023 23:12

He's a rat. No more to say, really!

SailorGeri · 13/07/2023 23:15

MC Grammar taught my DS at primary school. My DS has never forgiven him for making the whole class do two minutes silence because Michael Jackson had died.

Georgeandzippyzoo · 13/07/2023 23:29

Ex teacher married to a (now) HT. Never expected a present but was always appreciated because we both worked in poor/high unemployment areas.
Didn't hear this show but saw This Morning looking at 'the best teachers gifts' prices were really £15-20 and personally I thought they were a waste of money as gifts for anyone, never mind just your class teacher. I really would have been mortified if a parent wanted to buy me a £20 personalised vegan leather (??) Notebook with some special paper inside!
Totally agree with other posters that a heartfelt note is the best. I've still got cards / letters from 17yrs teaching. My favourite gift was a 99p metal bookmark from a reception lad, who chose it and spent his own money on it, because he knew I loved reading. Still use it weekly and he's left school now!
Our local.schools stopped gifts during covid and still encourage this now, suggesting produce/money be given to the local food bank.

When our youngest left primary we did a donation to a local animal charity and made a little card stating this to put in the class teachers cards.
A class gift...hmmmMay end up with something of significance but personally I always felt a little uneasy by them because I do think some parents are pressured into contributing and what happens if they don't?
I also loved home-made gifts and can I say homemade cakes and biscuits were.ALWAYS eaten and we've never had an issue.

NEmama · 13/07/2023 23:36

Ungrateful as fuck.
I just get told to fuck off

carduelis · 13/07/2023 23:48

Fizbosshoes · 13/07/2023 22:58

We've often been on a budget in the past, and not had a lot to spend on teacher gifts. One year DD made home made truffles for her teacher. She knew the teacher had (iirc) a gluten free diet and looked up an appropriate recipe.

But having joined mumsnet apparently homemade food is a big no no and nobody eats it....😬

No way! I was lucky enough to teach one girl for a few years who gave me the most amazing homemade fudge each Christmas - I looked forward to it every year. She gave me the recipe when she left but I never managed to make it as well as she did!

Whowhatwherewhenwhy1 · 14/07/2023 00:08

My daughter made a thank you card and wrote a report style letter inside telling her teacher what she had enjoyed doing most in her class, her best and funniest memories of the year, How the teacher had helped her become more confident etc and thanking her for helping her with xyz. She also printed and inserted a photo the school shared of her teacher and her on their school trip. She dis it with no help or adult input so it was genuine, - mistakes and all!

MenoRageisReal · 14/07/2023 00:36

MaggyNoodles · 13/07/2023 13:59

My son overheard his year 1 teacher say her scissors were broken. He used his own pocket money to buy her a new pair as an end of year thank you present.
When he gave her the gift, and told her why he'd bought them, she said all the right things, but when we popped back into the class 15 mins later for his forgotten PE kit she was slagging the scissors off to the TA as a strange and cheap gift.
Ds didn't hear her, but I did. Never bought another gift for anyone in that school again.

Ugh that teacher was a twat. All my teacher friends would love ANY form of stationery/room supplies as they go through so much each year.

MenoRageisReal · 14/07/2023 00:41

gillybean2 · 13/07/2023 15:09

Last year our local food bank posted pictures of the teachers from one local school dropping in big donation. They’d asked their classes to donate an item for the food bank instead if they wanted to give an end of year gift. I thought that was brilliant and much more useful. Summer holidays can be busy at the foodbank with less donations coming in too. Perhaps more teachers could suggest that if they don’t want more mugs or other ‘tat’.

Great idea

MenoRageisReal · 14/07/2023 00:46

carduelis · 13/07/2023 21:42

In my very first year of teaching my Year 7 class (who I adored) were horrified to discover I cycled into school because I didn’t have a car. They promised they’d club together to buy me one at the end of the year and it became a bit of a running joke (“sorry I forgot my homework, but don’t forget we’re going to buy you a car…”)

At the end of the year they proudly presented me with a beautiful little silver toy Mini. It’s still my favourite ever teacher gift (and I’m still
cycling into school 20 years later!).

That's adorable

Startyabastard · 14/07/2023 00:48

Anyone else think the teacher was fake in the original post?
I bet they were.

FussyPud · 14/07/2023 00:56

Startyabastard · 14/07/2023 00:48

Anyone else think the teacher was fake in the original post?
I bet they were.

No, he is very much real. The MAT that owns my you heat’s school used to employ him to go and do workshops in the schools.

I’m not a fan, but the kids used to bloody love him.

FussyPud · 14/07/2023 00:56

Youngest’s school*

I cannot type today, nor proofread.

Seashor · 14/07/2023 02:06

I’m in the ‘please don’t buy me anything’ camp. I really, really don’t feel comfortable accepting gifts. It’s so awkward and unnecessary

Last year the parents bought me a set of the Little People Big Dreams books for my class and donated to a third world education charity. This present did reduce me to tears because they had realised how passionate I am about inspiring and valuing education.

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