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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Teacher gifts - ungrateful shit!

530 replies

Hufflemuff · 13/07/2023 09:23

More of a rant than a question to be fair!

I was listening to Heart radio this morning and they had a teacher on called "Mc Grammer" (a rapping teacher - cringe) who was discussing teacher gifts and "what not to buy"...

He said one of the worse gifts he ever got from a student was a Rock - because the pupil said "he rocked" (aww) and some Doritos because that was the pupils favourite crisps (bless). He also said mugs were mostly an unwanted present "there's only so many cups of tea you can drink" apparently.

He said in the past he's gotten an Arsenal shirt, Nando's gift sets and gift cards... He said you should get to know the teacher to find out what they like and buy them something personal to them.

AIBU to be totally pissed off by this mans arrogance. It was totally tone deaf during the middle of a cost of living crisis to suggest parents buy gift cards (the minimum of which is usually £10) and other expensive presents in order for it to be considered a worthwhile gift. The fact he poo-pooed that boys rock as "one of the worse" gifts, which admittedly you wouldn't put on your mantel piece but the sentiment was there. He didn't consider that the boys parents might not have the money to buy a 'real' gift but he still wanted to give him something.

Ah!!! I was so very cross. It was the expectation to get something as a certainty and even then, he might not have been satisfied with it.

I have teachers in the family and they are always happy to get anything at all, no matter what it is. I think he was a really bad representation of all those caring teachers and Heart did the profession a real disservice by having him on.

Rant over! Gah!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
gillybean2 · 13/07/2023 15:09

Last year our local food bank posted pictures of the teachers from one local school dropping in big donation. They’d asked their classes to donate an item for the food bank instead if they wanted to give an end of year gift. I thought that was brilliant and much more useful. Summer holidays can be busy at the foodbank with less donations coming in too. Perhaps more teachers could suggest that if they don’t want more mugs or other ‘tat’.

Allhailkingcharlie · 13/07/2023 15:09

I'm a teacher. Don't give anything. Just say thank you at the end of the year and ask your child to say thank you. I would love that more than anything!!!!

Jumbojade · 13/07/2023 15:23

wholivesondrurylane · 13/07/2023 13:41

if that bothers you so much, why don't you become a teacher?

Funny enough, nurses, midwives and doctors are left presents by parents or patients in hospital!

Show quote history

Funnily enough nurses (plus other NHS workers) and carers, are actually very limited in what they are allowed to accept.

In my local health board area, they cannot accept any monetary gifts, and that includes gift vouchers. The ward may be given gifts of biscuits or sweets, but not much else.

The size of some of the vouchers described on here, is a definite no no and if it was found that they accepted a gift like that, they would face a disciplinary!

stargirl1701 · 13/07/2023 15:32

@Jumbojade

Any single gift over £30 must be reported on in my LA and then tax paid on it.

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 13/07/2023 15:53

The rock was a cool gift and he's an obnoxious ingrate for dismissing it.

But I don't blame teachers for not wanting a bunch of cheap tat. Most people like to select their own mugs. Parents are under no obligation to shower professional teachers with gifts. Sit the kid down and have them write a heartfelt letter to the teacher, enclose in a card, job done. No expenditure necessary.

TheFormidableMrsC · 13/07/2023 16:03

I'm always struck by how many teacher mugs there are in charity shops over the summer holidays. If you can't afford a gift then a card to say thank you is perfectly sufficient. I know that teachers do not expect gifts. This man sounds like an ungrateful twat and I hope he gets nothing but rocks and mugs this year.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 13/07/2023 16:06

stargirl1701 · 13/07/2023 15:32

@Jumbojade

Any single gift over £30 must be reported on in my LA and then tax paid on it.

Oh wow really!!!! Gift vouchers probably often come to that if from the whole class

StefanosHill · 13/07/2023 16:06

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 13/07/2023 15:53

The rock was a cool gift and he's an obnoxious ingrate for dismissing it.

But I don't blame teachers for not wanting a bunch of cheap tat. Most people like to select their own mugs. Parents are under no obligation to shower professional teachers with gifts. Sit the kid down and have them write a heartfelt letter to the teacher, enclose in a card, job done. No expenditure necessary.

‘obnoxious ingrate’

Ha totally

stargirl1701 · 13/07/2023 16:54

@Unexpectedlysinglemum

We get a 'reminder' email in early June...

ThrallsWife · 13/07/2023 17:42

The nicest thing I ever got from a student was a hastily-scribbled note on a torn-out book page. That student had just realised that I was leaving the school at the end of the year and they had nothing to give to me. All it said were a few words of appreciation and thanks, but it was so heartfelt that I've kept it and still remember it 15 years later. Gifts are nice, but it's the handmade cards that I treasure the most.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 13/07/2023 17:46

stargirl1701 · 13/07/2023 16:54

@Unexpectedlysinglemum

We get a 'reminder' email in early June...

Well I guess if from the whole class you can mentally divide amount by 30!

Purplepeoniesdroppingpetals · 13/07/2023 18:02

Pkhsvd · 13/07/2023 09:25

That’s awful and fuels my fears about what to get my DCs teacher as I’m worried about giving a rubbish gift but money is also very tight at the moment. The idea of getting to know the teacher to know what they like sounds quite ridiculous really, I barely see my DCs teacher and I can’t rely on a young child to tell me what her teachers interests are.

Seriously - a really heartfelt message in a card is much more appropriate. I teach and hate to think of parents feeling worried, or worse, slighted because of parents for teachers.

embod · 13/07/2023 18:18

He sounds awful! As a teacher the ‘rock’ would have really moved me! Parents should know a thank you is more than enough. We don’t expect gifts. I really like the food bank idea someone else posted about.

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 13/07/2023 19:00

The joint gift the parents have organised this year is pure tat. I've no idea what they're thinking.

YSoSirius · 13/07/2023 19:04

I don't even know why teachers need gifts at all. Just a thank you card should suffice surely?

Callyem · 13/07/2023 19:07

YANBU - as a teacher, the level of entitlement you describe is an embarrassment to the profession. My favourite gift ever was a plastic fan because the child who gave it to me was from a deprived background, had seen others give me things and was desperate to do so too. It may have just been something he found as home but it was given with love and appreciation which means far more than any number of gift card oneupmanship or people giving because they feel obligated.

Note to parents - gifts are lovely but please never ever feel obligated. Most of us wouldn't dream of expecting anything or putting down the gifts we do receive.

Bridgescanbecrossed · 13/07/2023 19:44

The best gift as a teacher, for me, is a card with a message from the child. I keep them all, and reread them from time to time, to perk me up when things get tough!

Bridgescanbecrossed · 13/07/2023 19:46

The best gift I got was a Christmas tree ornament. I put it on my tree every year, and think about the child that gave it to me - he will be all grown up and probably has his own children now.

DinoDaddy · 13/07/2023 19:56

We are meant to buy the teachers a present?!? I have never done this - why would I?

Almahart · 13/07/2023 20:04

I remember one year the class donated a small fortune as always and the PTA rep decided to buy a really ugly handbag for the teacher. Such a waste of money. I mean, I know taste is subjective, but it was not a neutral bag.

Arealteacher · 13/07/2023 20:08

DinoDaddy · 13/07/2023 19:56

We are meant to buy the teachers a present?!? I have never done this - why would I?

You're not meant too no.
Some people choose to, and have done for many years, my Dad still has gifts given to him by pupils in the 70s.
Like I said personally I'd prefer you didn't, spend that money on your children not me.

Arealteacher · 13/07/2023 20:09

Oops wrong to.

IridescentRainbird · 13/07/2023 20:26

Pkhsvd · 13/07/2023 09:25

That’s awful and fuels my fears about what to get my DCs teacher as I’m worried about giving a rubbish gift but money is also very tight at the moment. The idea of getting to know the teacher to know what they like sounds quite ridiculous really, I barely see my DCs teacher and I can’t rely on a young child to tell me what her teachers interests are.

I think a handwritten letter/picture and a bar of chocolate would be appreciated by most teachers. My friend's son put a photo of his favourite gift on Instagram last year, a letter from a child thanking him for being patient "even though I know I have been difficult to deal with".

Moonandme123 · 13/07/2023 20:37

I’m a teacher and the best present I ever had was a keyring a child made me. Had it on my keys for years!

Dancingqueenwannabe · 13/07/2023 20:37

As a teacher I can say I don't expect gifts at all. I know some teachers who do and are annoyed when they don't get them but for me a hug as they leave is good enough (if they want to).
Personally if I was to get anything then the home made cards, thoughtful gifts mean more than anything. I love it when the children have listened and understand me - so one year a child brought me one Ferrero rocher because I said they were my favourite. She had saved it since Christmas so it was melted and not the best but she thought of me when she had them and saved it... that meant the world x

Ps I was on a course with mc grammer a few weeks ago... absolute shite! He had no idea about how to teach kids was just too busy promoting all the crap hes linked to so he can get in the bin!!!