Teacher gifts - ungrateful shit!

[Hufflemuff]

More of a rant than a question to be fair!

I was listening to Heart radio this morning and they had a teacher on called "Mc Grammer" (a rapping teacher - cringe) who was discussing teacher gifts and "what not to buy"...

He said one of the worse gifts he ever got from a student was a Rock - because the pupil said "he rocked" (aww) and some Doritos because that was the pupils favourite crisps (bless). He also said mugs were mostly an unwanted present "there's only so many cups of tea you can drink" apparently.

He said in the past he's gotten an Arsenal shirt, Nando's gift sets and gift cards... He said you should get to know the teacher to find out what they like and buy them something personal to them.

AIBU to be totally pissed off by this mans arrogance. It was totally tone deaf during the middle of a cost of living crisis to suggest parents buy gift cards (the minimum of which is usually £10) and other expensive presents in order for it to be considered a worthwhile gift. The fact he poo-pooed that boys rock as "one of the worse" gifts, which admittedly you wouldn't put on your mantel piece but the sentiment was there. He didn't consider that the boys parents might not have the money to buy a 'real' gift but he still wanted to give him something.

Ah!!! I was so very cross. It was the expectation to get something as a certainty and even then, he might not have been satisfied with it.

I have teachers in the family and they are always happy to get anything at all, no matter what it is. I think he was a really bad representation of all those caring teachers and Heart did the profession a real disservice by having him on.

Rant over! Gah!

That’s horrible - but I expect they purposely chose someone who would say that! None of the teachers I know expect gifts or moan about handmade or personally chosen gifts by the child!
I have received pictures drawn and one pupil gave me some Poundland tea lights - I get them out every Xmas for the memory! I had a Freddo - it’s the thought and I’ve always had to explain to the class all their gifts are amazing but in don’t expect them as the biggest gift is if they’ve tried their best to make our class amazing!
I always think it’s hard for the ones who can’t give anything who watch it all given.
I once had a written card from a grandmother saying how much her granddaughter loved my lessons - it was gushing and made me cry!

Back in our richer days we gave a bottle of french champagne to each class subject teacher. Plus a hand made silver bangle to one who really helped DS1 from a local jewllery maker that we had found out she liked.

Simply cannot afford that this year so we gave a bottle of Aldi champagne to 3 teachers only.

Mind you, when we toured a school for open day a few years back we were taken to the teacher staffroom and saw a hand embroidered cushion with the teacher's name and thanks on it. I commented on how lovely it was and the teacher touring said that yes, it was lovely. The named teacher was so grateful, and she was great and what a pity she had retired now for a few years.

So loved the hand embroidered cushion- not enough to take it home.

That made me throw away the idea of anything personalised immediately.

If the teacher is a decent person they will not mind either way - a gift is not expected!
you could get a card and say thank you if you think they’ve been a good teacher this year - no one would hate that.

Not everyone in the class contributes but we always write the card from “all of the children”. Tbf everyone on the class whatsapp are very happy that someone else is organising the gift!

What an arsehole. Have a few relatives who teach/taught primary children and they’re always over the moon with any cards, gifts or even hand drawn pictures/cards which are actually their favourite things of all. One cousin keeps a huge box in her loft filled with every card and gift she’s ever received. They do get an awful lot of mugs though so I do steer clear of that when buying my DC’s teachers’ gifts!

I think teacher gifts should be banned altogether. They get a salary and don't need gifts.
I'm not allowed to accept gifts or vouchers in my NHS clinic.

I like to get a token gift because in my opinion teachers are underpaid, overworked and underappreciated. I’m not a teacher, but I hear stories on here about the massive amount of hours and effort that go into looking after our children, there’s no way they’re paid enough for what they do.

So I get a £5 voucher from Costa so they can have a coffee and maybe a little cake, and hope thats ok for them, I worry now after seeing this chat!

its rude.

Having worked as a TA, i can honestly say, all that stuff was lovely, but unnecessary. The things i treasured and kept (Still have 15 years on) were the letters/cards that the children had taken the time to make themselves.
The ones where they'd just folded a piece of A4 and drawn me a picture were just as loved as the bought cards.

You don't need to spend a fortune to thank the teacher.

That’s actually really nice that you do that (genuinely - I know that can sound patronising online!) because lots of people don’t - we’ve had cards before in my setting with a gift voucher and the names of a third or half the class and you just die a little inside knowing it’s the cliquey mum group! But you have to nod and smile 🙈

They get a salary that, in my opinion, is nowhere near enough considering what they do and the extra hours they put in.

My mum was a teacher and many, many years ago she worked in a primary school in a very deprived area. One of her favourite end of year gifts was from a little boy who came from a very poor family but he saved up his pennies to buy her this packet of biscuits. When he handed them over he was pleased as punch and my mother said it brought a tear to her eye because it meant to much to him to be able to give her this gift. She was so touched and has never forgotten it.

So glad my kids are out of primary school. Their school was reasonably wealthy, we'd often end up with a collection of £300 to be split between teacher and TA at both Christmas and summer.

Honestly I think it's OTT. £50 for flowers and something else fine, but that just seemed a bit ridiculous really.

With the cost of living ATM most teachers would be happy with homemade a card. Or school supplies some have an Amazon wishlist.

if that bothers you so much, why don't you become a teacher?

Funny enough, nurses, midwives and doctors are left presents by parents or patients in hospital!

I'm a Teaching Assistant and every year I never expect gifts from children. Teacher colleagues say the same. Not every child's parents can afford to buy gifts and I feel it puts a lot of pressure on the parents.
Please don't feel pressured to buy.

why? we get a lot more, but some parents want to give more than £10, and when you multiply by the number of kids.

If they were in the private sector, they would likely have a christmas meal paid for them, some perks, bonuses. WHY is it so wrong that parents choose to give something?

I always get my child to make a card and choose a bar of chocolate he thinks they would like. It’s a present from him not me.

Oh this takes me back to when my eldest left reception.

Months earlier their teacher walked past my garden, we ended up talking plants, she pointed out 1 in my garden she'd like for her garden. It's Lady's Mantle not beautiful at the best of times.

Months later thinking about leaving gifts I took a cutting and put it in a plastic plant pot.

So on the final day we take in a plastic pot with an unattractive weed-like green thing in it.

The parent infront of us gifted them a bottle of pink champagne in a case with a glass (expensive brand).

And that parent trotted off aghast at our offering and told her pink champagne drinking cohort who had a right good snigger at my expense.
She missed seeing us getting big hugs from the teacher cos' she knew exactly what was in the plastic pot (and I heard later it was growing well).

I laugh and cringe whenever I think about it.

I've been getting personalised stickers for our teachers/TA's for the last couple of years. e.g. 'Mr Apple says Well Done!' they seem to go down pretty well.
Small, useful, cheap and not another bloody mug!

I absolutely detest the idea of class collections though and i'm very glad they don't seem to be a thing at our school.

I don't get them anything, and I don't know when this started.

Bloody brilliant. Tatties for teachers. I love it.

I have kept all of my thank you cards from my GCSE & A Level students, some are very touching. I drank all the wine and scoffed the chocolates - always happy to receive gifts but it is not essential.

The most expensive gifts I have received were Estee Lauder gift sets, mum had contacts and high expectations. So four years' worth of Christmas/Summer gifts. When her son left with his grade 9 GCSEs and A*s A-Level he staggered around History, Maths, Geog and Economics departments weighed down with goodies for all his female teachers - think flowers, White Company candle, full skincare regime, champagne & a gorgeous card. Male teachers got champagne and a beautiful card. 😁

WHY is it so wrong that parents choose to give something?

It isn’t wrong that parents choose to give something but +£300 and upwards is pretty ostentatious - a bit “Lord of the Manor”. some people may feel pressured into contributing when they would otherwise not. Im someone who was chased for my so called voluntary contribution by the class rep which made me feel they were keeping a very close eye on who did and who didn’t. Do I want my kids name to be left off the class card because I haven’t got £10 to spare?

I think schools should make a policy of no gifts, thank you is enough, the head could decide that any gifts will be raffled for school funds. To be fair with the rare exception the gifts are just repeated every year and some of it is tat. What can one person do with so many gifts? So your then into the class collection which is ridiculous, what if that teacher wasn’t that supportive of your child, or you are skint, how do you say no to the self appointed money collector.

As a teacher, giving gifts to DCs teachers, I do:

First day of term - a box of tissues and soap in a dispenser for the class.

Christmas - homemade card & book token

Summer - real Pritt sticks and a pack of white A4 paper and white A4 card. A second hand copy of a book my DC have read that year with a message.