Just realising my friends think wearing glasses is 'lesser' and now I feel like shit

[Speczy]

As the title suggests, I wear glasses. Can't go about my daily life without them. I do have contact lenses but I rarely wear them now.

A friend, older than me by 6 years, needs readers. For small print, nothing major. She is 51 for context. Put it in our chat group (with one other v close friend who is only 40).

The whole narrative was that glasses are an old person thing, how would I wear them? Do I need a lanyard to carry them? Goodness, what kind of bag can I fit them in? Where will I put them? I'll need to wear them at work!! Shocked, glasses, what an inconvenience and a nightmare! Etc.

This was a back and forth between my friends on the group chat. I've been wearing glasses for decades...aibu to be hurt by this? I'm a big, tough grown up, but feel like shit after reading that.

You’re being a such a drama queen for a woman in her mid 40s.
The friend was chatting about adjusting to wearing glasses, getting a bigger bag so she can always have them on her etc they hardly said ‘everyone who wears glasses is ugly and boring’ 🙄

My DH is absolutely dependent on his specs, has worn them since the age of three years old, never seen without them. When he changed his frames for a different style one of his colleagues commented on them and asked if he’d recently started wearing glasses.

I think your specs are invisible to your friends. They haven’t registered that you wear them.

I certainly wouldn’t let it upset me.

"You’re being a such a drama queen for a woman in her mid 40s."

Right. Thanks

You are seriously overthinking this, I have worn glasses full time since primary school, but my reaction to finding I need reading glasses now is exactly the same as your friends reaction. How annoying, inconvenient, expensive, depressing, what a sign of old age!

A friend of mine needed reading glasses and was upset about it, and then said the worst thing was that all their friends were glasses wearers so they had no one to complain to about it! Lol (I wear glasses)

Your friends are probably so used to your glasses that they see them as part of your face.

I agree with most other people.
I've worn glasses my whole life. I know my dh doesn't think they are ugly or awful or anything.
But when he needed reading glasses he was devastated (unreasonably so in my opinion) but it was nothing to do with glasses themselves but just the knowledge that he was ageing and he didn't like it.
(He got over it. Eventually.)

I wore contacts for 25 years or more, then have had to go back to glasses and initially I didn't like it at all! Now I'm used to it and don't mind terribly as they cover up the wrinkles a bit. If I had the chance though I'd get rid of the glasses tomorrow, but that's not possible with my prescription as the risks of other problems are too high. I've been assessed by an eye surgeon and it's not happening.

Glasses are cooler and more common now than when I was a little girl, it's still an adjustment to use them, and a tiny sign we are ageing, which is that thing of a priviledge but also a pain.

I think people look better in glasses than without. It’s choosing the right frames that count.

DH loooks like Geoff Goldblum in his
l look like Meryl Streep 🤔l like the shape she wears
And DS looks like Louis Theroux.

Glasses are cool, and obviously my family is full of stars🤔🤩

@Highdaysandholidays1 same, I can only have lens replacement surgery due to my prescription etc but it’s expensive and ironically I’m considered too young for it anyway!

You need better friends OP.

Aren't they talking about reading glasses though, not 'normal' glasses?

Reading glasses you constantly take on and off. You do have to work out how to carry them around, you do generally only get them when you are older, they are a bit of a pain.

None of that applies to your glasses.

Your 'friends' are horrible. Find new ones.

"Aren't they talking about reading glasses though, not 'normal' glasses?"

One is, yes. The other isn't.

It's ok, I was being over sensitive. I can see (lol) that now

I know it’s not the same kind of example, but I roll my eyes and feel a bit annoyed whenever I hear someone having conniptions over finding their first grey hair at 40. I found my first grey at 15 and was 30-40% grey by 30, so I do feel unreasonably annoyed when I hear others being silly about it at an age when you would expect them to know better.

But I acknowledge that’s a “me” problem and nothing to do with them really.

@Lastnightschips I can't even have lens replacement surgery! If that's an option for you, I'd save up. For me, it's a bit too risky due to risk of retinal detachment.

I just thank the Lord I'm living in an age with fashionable glasses!

I think wearing glasses all the time is easier than needing them sporadically, to read etc.
As a long term glasses/contacts wearer, I now find it much more of a pain to wear contacts as it means I need readers! Hassle remembering them etc. Wearing them all the time =nonissue for me

I utterly loathe wearing glasses and I've needed them since my teens. Only having a period in my late 20s without them. I badly want my eyes lasered to deal with the issue. Sadly I can't afford it. Having reached my 50s and needing glasses to read again. I do100% feel they are lesser. I did in my teens too.

I dont however feel a person is lesser for needing glasses. I get they are just one of those things in life. Just i freaking loathe having to wear them. (I habe a wide bridge and never found a pair that are truly comfortable.

I've enjoyed perfect vision until very recently (I'm 47) and recently I bought some cheap +1 reading glasses when I can't read tiny font on food packaging. So for me, deteriorating eyesight is a sign of getting older. As it was for my parents who only started wearing glasses all the time after they retired.

DH on the other hand, has always been short-sighted and has worn glasses and occasionally contact lenses since he was a little kid. I've known him for 25 years and don't see him as "old" because he wears glasses.

The two concepts exist perfectly well simultaneously in my brain.

You friends are not criticising you, OP.

I totally agree with this.

Have worn glasses since I was 18, but was really resistant to the need to upgrade to varifocals. 3 tests ago the optician suggested I was right on the cusp of needing them so I put it off. Hated the thought as it was a symptom of getting older. Got them 2 tests ago and totally now see (no pun intended) the benefit.

For someone who has had good vision for most of their life, I can get why they see it as a sign of aging.

I also can understand the discussion of the practical elements of only using glasses for reading, like wearing them on a chain/need for a new bag etc. mine are on my face from the second I get up until I go to bed, so I don't have these issues.

Your friend is pissed off that her eyesight has deteriorated so much that she needs to wear glasses. That doesn’t mean she thinks you are ‘lesser’ whatever you mean by that! She just doesn’t want to.

I'm surprised that your friend is so upset by this new development. I'm chuffed to bits with my specs because now I can see, couldn't see jack shit before them despite having been given 4 different prescriptions over 16 years! I finally had the idea of having an actual prescription lense in one side only and a balancer in the other, total game changer.

I've won glasses since I was 12. I've toyed with contact lenses with various degrees of success. I've looked into corrective surgery twice, but have never been suitable. Bad eyesight is a PITA. Even though I already wore glasses, needing varifocals in my late 40s still stung! (Emotionally and financially!).

Very few people see positives in wearing glasses! I wouldn't take it personally!

Iv needed glasses full time since I was 25 and for reading and eventually driving before then. They are horrible. I have a very small head so finding a pair that went well with my head shape/size was a nightmare. They hurt the side of my head aswell and always get dirty. In 2018 I had enough and tried contact lenses and iv never looked back although it's more expensive I feel alot more confident and they aren't that much faff at all to me.

Haven't RTFT, so apologies if this has all already been said...

Reading glasses are more of a PITA than "normal" glasses. You carry them around in a case, you put them on and off all the bloody time, you can forget them and leave them behind accidentally... etc etc.

I used to have "normal" glasses when I was younger. Not a big deal, although eventually I got my eyes lasered so as not to bother with them. Now I'm in my 50s and need reading glasses. So I've tried both. The reading glasses really are an unholy faff compared with just wearing glasses all the time.

Also they're a sign of aging, which many people dislike. Glasses on your face? Not a problem. Glasses on a chain round your neck? Instant granny.

Hmm I am horrified that after having perfect vision all my life, as from 45 (Im 49) I can´t read size 11 print, can´t see the numbers to dial on my work phone, everything in print around me is blurry. I have to take my readers because I can´t see to read a menu. Can´t see the sizes on dresses when I go shopping,(I am looking at you H&M with your small print and light grey on white background, bastards). I have one reader at home, one in my handbag and one at work. I hate it, it has taken some mental adjustment but it is what it is. I am looking into lense surgery but I have dry eye syndrome so not banking on it. To me it is totally separate from regular glass wearing.