Just realising my friends think wearing glasses is 'lesser' and now I feel like shit

[Speczy]

As the title suggests, I wear glasses. Can't go about my daily life without them. I do have contact lenses but I rarely wear them now.

A friend, older than me by 6 years, needs readers. For small print, nothing major. She is 51 for context. Put it in our chat group (with one other v close friend who is only 40).

The whole narrative was that glasses are an old person thing, how would I wear them? Do I need a lanyard to carry them? Goodness, what kind of bag can I fit them in? Where will I put them? I'll need to wear them at work!! Shocked, glasses, what an inconvenience and a nightmare! Etc.

This was a back and forth between my friends on the group chat. I've been wearing glasses for decades...aibu to be hurt by this? I'm a big, tough grown up, but feel like shit after reading that.

My DH has been traumatised since he had to get reading glasses, he has had perfect vision up to then, being able to read all letters on the chart. I have had glasses/contact lenses for over 30 years. I still made comments about being old when I got reading glasses and then varifocal contact lenses in friends WhatsApp group.

Had a giggle the other day with some mums at a school event when we were all trying to read the program and some had forgotten their reading glasses, discussed how we needed longer arms and if someone held it at the end of the row how many of us would be able to read it! As others have said reading glasses/varifocals signify old age creeping up on us

For me, apart from the gloomy “and so it begins” ageing aspect, I was embarrassed/apprehensive about wearing my reading glasses for the first time at work, convinced everyone would notice and remark upon it. When of course hardly anyone noticed and/or assumed I’d always worn them!

Yes, swapping to and fro with sunglasses is the only time he sometimes mislays his normal pair.

Mind you, that reminds me ... I've still not figured out how to read in the sun, no dark readers.

I think you're being oversensitive.
I've been wearing glasses since I was 11. Can't be bothered with contacts these days (mid 40s). Loads of my friends have got reading glasses now and are faffing about with taking them on and off, losing them, forgetting them, generally finding them a pain and saying that they make them feel elderly.
In comparison, I just have to drop my regular glasses down my nose slightly to read the small print then push them back up again, so I'm finally reaping the rewards of 30 years of having to wear specs, and if anything I feel quite smug about it tbh!

I hate how this is pretty much deemed as being thick or behind in some way. Oh shock horror! Where will you keep them?! On your face directly in front of your eyes the majority of the time if you'd like to read. Because otherwise, shock horror again, you wont be able to without them. It's just another way to act like you're "above" other people. The likely outcome is that they'll end up being necessary 24/7 for daily life for this person as the years go on, they simply won't be 20/20 as they continue to age. Just like being a completely tone deaf knobhead, you can't avoid or remedy it once you've made it public. Double whammy for this silly bugger.

Having to wear reading glasses is a faff.
Ive been wearing glasses all the time since I was 7. Put them on at the beginning of the day and off at the end.
My dh now needs reading glasses. On off on off, a complete faff. Keeps leaving them somewhere and looses them, hangs them around his neck, still seems to loose them

Give me eyesight that I can wear a pair of glasses all day.
Id rather that than just for reading and all that faff.
Personally I think I’ve got the edge now.

As an aside I have two sons who wear glasses. They wear contacts for contact sport and prescription goggles for swimming. None of their friends have ever commented negatively about them wearing glasses, it’s really not a big deal and not deemed only for old people.

Also these days you can get lots of lovely frames to spice things up a bit.
Your 20/20 vision friends have one less accessory than you OP.

I wouldn't take it personally and they're being a little dramatic about it. I've worn glasses for most of my adult life and if someone saw me as lesser because I needed them I'd think they were a bit of a twat. They'll get over the drama soon and glasses will be as normal for them as they are for the rest of us speccys.

exactly the same post 🤣
Great minds and all that

Or putting on sun glasses before leaving the house and then forgetting the normal glasses at home!!! Disaster!
Having to wear sunglasses at night, cause otherwise youre blind, and everyone will be thinking youre an asshole! 😂

Pardon the pun, but you are being extremely short sighted. I have needed glasses since I was 14, I mostly wear contacts. I have no embarrassment over needing glasses for being short sighted. But I still took the piss out of my partner when he started needing reading glasses, and dread my eyesight changing to being long sighted with age too, because it's like getting your first grey hair, something most of us joke about. Your eyesight failing in your youth isn't the same. Think if it more like hair colour changing to white.

"Pardon the pun, but you are being extremely short sighted"

Thanks. I agree, and I'm long sighted 🤓. Needed this thread to see (no pun intended) what an over sensitive knob I was being

Many people see the normal signs of ageing as a personal affront, instead of accepting it’s ok, it’s not a sign of being lesser in any way or a sign of decrepitude.

I’ve had health problems all my life that cause issues often associated with older age - joint pain, muscle weakness, poor hearing/sight, thin hair, osteoporosis. I think I’m coping with actual impending old age (I am 62) with far more acceptance than my peers, as they have been used to much better health in the past. Acceptance can be difficult but being grateful we live in a country with access to glasses, hearing aids, mobility aids etc, might help, because in places where these aren’t a given and dependent on wealth and circumstance, the impact of ageing are not mitigated.

Glasses since I was 6 and this year got progressives at 45. I was a bit blah about that, but I'm used to wearing glasses.
I get why your friends are out out by needing them now due to age.
Big hug but yes YABU. ,💐

This post sums it up really, glad you saw (hehe) some sense OP!

I'm also 51 and have needed everyday vision correction since my teens - I still find the recent need for reading glasses an absolute pain in the arse as well as being yet another miserable sign of age-related deterioration.

Have seen your updates OP, but just wanted to say that if those comments had been in my friends Whatsapp group then I would have taken it as them joking around.

Not the point of the thread, but... I had lens replacements a few years ago (eye wateringly expensive to me) and it was one of the best things I have ever done. My eyesight deteriorated very quickly, effected my quality of life and nothing has made me feel so old. I needed to wear glasses to read and glasses to drive and could see that in a very few years I wouldn't be able to drive at all. Would recommend it if it's needed as long as you don't have to sell an organ on the black market to fund it!

They can sit in their ivory tower now but having gone from perfect eyesight to dependent on readers once I hit peri menopause it's very likely that they too will need glasses at some point. Ignore

I've worn glasses since I was a teen. In the last few years I've needed reading glasses as well. The optician said it's usual in over 40s, which I thought was very rude as I identify as a 25 year old. My friend also needs reading glasses but is really stubborn about accepting it for some reason, so does things like make the text on her phone enormous instead.

I don't take it personally that she refuses to wear them, I just laugh with her about her being stubborn and both of us being old.

Haven't read all of the thread, but wanted to quickly comment. The younger generation think glasses are hot. My DC and their friends have often worn glasses without prescription lenses. They are always commenting on how glasses look so good on people, and are very attractive.

I grew up in a generation where I was embarrassed to be one of the few to have to wear glasses, wish there had been more people like my DC and friends around then.

Can I just add, anyone finding they just need help with fine print (like checking ingredients lists while at the supermarket) and can't be faffed with reading glasses, use the camera on your phone and zoom in. I actually have a magnifying glass app on mine which is even better.

But reading glasses are annoying, I’ve worn glasses all my life since I was 4 years old and I was ridiculously shortsighted with an astigmatism etc I couldn’t get out of bed in the morning without them on and never took them off except in the shower. I developed cataracts and have had both eyes done in the last year of course I am grateful I can now go about my day without glasses for normal viewing but I now need reading glasses and it’s so annoying having to be carrying them about and putting them on and off. When I had glasses on my face all the time I never moaned about them even though my vision was rubbish, but I moan now about practicalities of “part-time” glasses.

Bizarrely I absolutely HATE being shortsighted, I refuse to wear glasses and have worn contacts daily for 15 years.

But I really like wearing my reading glasses at work when I use the PC! Also astigmatism so they are prescription reading glasses on top of my contacts.

For me normal glasses equals frumpy. Reading glasses, where I can take them off to talk to people, equals attractive!!

I wear glasses most of my life. I can see the difference between glasses like that and because of aging. Her comments are less about glasses but more about getting old…

I’m thankful for glasses. Without them I couldn’t drive and I would have fuzzy vision. People will complain about anything—ignore their drama. Who cares what they think?!

Get Fitovers/Overglasses/other-brands-exist and never have to worry about damaging or losing your expensive glasses when you put sunglasses on ever again.

To me the biggest difference between reading glasses and "always" glasses is you have to keep taking off reading glasses to see around you. You can't leave them on your face, but you can't forget them. So it's a thing you have to carry around all the time (and lose).