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AIBU?

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Original poster

To allow my son to do this on holiday?

342 replies

HistoryRepeat · 12/07/2023 10:18

4 years old. Loves the water. But can't swim. We go every week in the kids pool and he's leaning to kick, use a float.

We are on holiday. There is a big slide and it goes into a deep plunge pool. The pool is only as wide as a bath. Very small but v deep.

DH saying DS not allowed to go as deep and he can't swim. I say he should be able to go and I stand at the bottom and catch him. The kids do go under but I would be right there. Its such a small pool, you can touch each side. I know he can't swim but if someone is literally stood there to catch him? He did go down one slide and went under for 2 seconds, he was a bit shocked but again I was right there scooped him up and he wanted to again.

Anyway turned into a big thing as DS is obsessed with going and DH insistingjust paddle pools. DH is safety obsessed imo but he says I'm being ridiculous and that I need to trust him and respect his viewpoint and I'm not presenting a united front.

Kids currently watching screens, DH off in a huff and me wandering why I work all year to afford to take them on holiday.

Would you let your kid who can't swim on the big slides if you were at the bottom? Am I being lax?

OP posts:
Schum · 12/07/2023 13:57

Codlingmoths · 12/07/2023 13:48

Op, I would never let a child that age on a slide like the one you posted a picture of. Dh would go down the slide with him though.
your mother was not lax. She was fully neglectful, I don’t know if that’s something you’ve worked through or not.

Don’t be so utterly ridiculous. There’s nothing neglectful about letting a child go on a slide like that. It doesn’t look much different to the children’s slides at Volcano Bay in Orlando, and my 8 year old is too tall for them so that shows what age they’re aimed at!!

To allow my son to do this on holiday?
Spangers · 12/07/2023 13:57

“I wouldn't allow it. Suppose you suffer a medical emergency at the crucial moment and were unable to retrieve your child?”

Do people really think like this? How do you leave the house?

Useyourfork · 12/07/2023 13:58

At 4 years old I would worry about him getting stuck and panicking, and that’s quite a long slide that’s designed for the rider to build up some speed and momentum. How would you rescue a scared child who got stuck?
I wouldn’t worry necessarily about the water depth with flotation devices and a parent can quickly guide them out of the way.
Floatation devices and rash vests can really slow you down on a slide.
It’s a definite no from me.

DamaskRosie · 12/07/2023 13:58

Hmm looking at that I’m not sure I would be ok with it (and I’m not especially risk averse). It’s not so much the pool at the end- you can manage the risk there- but the chance of him stopping and doing something very dangerous like standing up in a situation where you can’t reach him.

HerbertChops · 12/07/2023 14:02

My son was going down slides like that on holiday in Spain when he was 3, me or dh would wait at the bottom. Not a problem at all. My kids were never scared of the water, would jump in as soon as they could walk, we never used arm bands or floatation vests. Would go in the shallow end and let them swim and float, taught them to turn on their backs and float if they couldn’t touch the bottom. They started swimming lessons aged 6m. Swimming is a life skill, best to teach them to be confident in the water, getting water on their faces and going underwater then it’s less of a shock if they ever actually fall in and they’ll be able to float and get themselves to the edge alone.

HerbertChops · 12/07/2023 14:04

My son did stand up and start walking aged 3 on a slide like that, the life guard blew his whistle and told him to sit down. Was totally fine!

Rhondaa · 12/07/2023 14:04

God, not a chance. As others have said how will you know he's coming you could grab the wrong dc and miss your own.

Non swimmers should not go on waters slides imo. Can't believe you're even asking.

Dowhatshard · 12/07/2023 14:08

I agree with your DH. My reasons are your child has years ahead of him to go down water slides. It will keep in your child’s mind the importance of his swimming lessons and when he is older and a confident swimmer he will be proud of his achievement and enjoy being able to do more things. Also it sets a precedent that your child will expect to do water slides from now on, maybe at a party when you aren’t there to catch him or he sneaks off on a school trip.

A united front is important in parenting, it’s great your DH is so involved and caring unlike some useless Dads.

Dinoswearunderpants · 12/07/2023 14:08

This post is ridiculous. Does he even meet the height requirements? If he can't swim, he needs to be wearing a life vest/swimming aids regardless. No doubt the lifeguards wouldn't allow him to go down anyways.

As for your comment "My child is keen to try the bigger slide..." My son is keen to jump from the top of the stairs because he thinks it looks fun, doesn't mean I'd bloody let him!

Useyourfork · 12/07/2023 14:11

Rhondaa · 12/07/2023 14:04

God, not a chance. As others have said how will you know he's coming you could grab the wrong dc and miss your own.

Non swimmers should not go on waters slides imo. Can't believe you're even asking.

2 adults go up - 1st adult goes down and waits at the bottom then 2nd adult sends child down with a big push 😀
Child has to go down without a top on or they get stuck.
(to go fast child lies on their back with body weight on heels and shoulder blades) 🙂

You will have to let us know what happens OP

Bookworm20 · 12/07/2023 14:11

With one parent putting him on at the top (and possibly following afterwards so bigger kids don't get straight on it) and one parent catching at the bottom in a tiny pool as you've described, I don't see an issue with it.

He'll love it I'm sure and if you are catching him, him not being able to swim isn't exactly relevant as you'd be right there.

However if your DH is dead set against it, not sure how you can convince him its ok. Could you go down with dc on your lap the first time?

Stillcantbebothered · 12/07/2023 14:11

Dotjones · 12/07/2023 10:23

I wouldn't allow it. Suppose you suffer a medical emergency at the crucial moment and were unable to retrieve your child?

It just feels like an unnecessary risk to me. Tell him that once he learns to swim properly he'll be allowed to use water equipment like this. He needs to learn to respect water though, it is deadly, many swimmers drown every year, and throwing someone who can't swim properly into the mix is asking for trouble.

Seriously??? You wouldn’t because if the chance she may have a medical emergency at the moment she is supposed to catch him lol. Do you wrap up your kids in bubble wrap every morning?

Violinist64 · 12/07/2023 14:12

I think it would be extremely dangerous and irresponsible to let a non-swimmer go down one of these slides into the deep end, however careful you think you may be. You really need to act as his parent and responsible adult. In your shoes l would just say that those slides are for big boys and girls who can swim really well but that he can have just as much fun in the shallow water.

YouWhatYouWhat · 12/07/2023 14:15

"Kids are crawling down it"

That's worse, they're too light for the slide then. A poster has just confirmed her 3 year old did stand up on one and thinks all is well because he sat down again. If he tumbled and fell? Would that be ok?

Enclosed slides are not as bad as long as the rider is heavy enough.

Original poster
HistoryRepeat · 12/07/2023 14:22

I like that people say FFS can't believe you're asking you awful woman...and then the next person says yeah of course, no problem.

Which I guess is kind of the point. As someone said there is no consensus

It's not busy by the way. 2 kids max waiting to go down. And then parents taking turns to stand at bottom to catch or for bigger kids no parent at bottom of course.

But the point that if DH says no then that's it really. He's mad with me for not backing him or "questioning him" but we move on

OP posts:
Useyourfork · 12/07/2023 14:22

YouWhatYouWhat · 12/07/2023 14:15

"Kids are crawling down it"

That's worse, they're too light for the slide then. A poster has just confirmed her 3 year old did stand up on one and thinks all is well because he sat down again. If he tumbled and fell? Would that be ok?

Enclosed slides are not as bad as long as the rider is heavy enough.

I know, this is what gives me the shudders.
If they are on the slide for ages an older child could go down fast and knock into the 4 yo, and land on top of him in the water at the bottom. Extremely dangerous, I would wait a couple of years.

YouWhatYouWhat · 12/07/2023 14:26

I can't see anyone saying you're awful. Just that it's too big for a small non swimmer.

Intrigued how it's all the MILs fault though 🤣

GnomeDePlume · 12/07/2023 14:26

YouWhatYouWhat · 12/07/2023 14:15

"Kids are crawling down it"

That's worse, they're too light for the slide then. A poster has just confirmed her 3 year old did stand up on one and thinks all is well because he sat down again. If he tumbled and fell? Would that be ok?

Enclosed slides are not as bad as long as the rider is heavy enough.

It isnt falling out so much as the child being clattered by a much heavier child or adult coming down much, much faster. They all land in the run off pool, taking OP out at the same time.

Parents sending too young children down slides like this are a menace.

It's fine until it's not fine and you are looking at cuts, bruises and traumatised children, maybe head injuries and fractures.

RPost · 12/07/2023 14:42

I'd let my son do this if you can be there at the end, but I also think the concern from the other parent is very valid and should be listened to. My husband once thought it was ok to let my son jump on some rocks over fast water, and I thought it was too dangerous, but he listened to my opinion which is the main thing.

Codlingmoths · 12/07/2023 14:46

HerbertChops · 12/07/2023 14:04

My son did stand up and start walking aged 3 on a slide like that, the life guard blew his whistle and told him to sit down. Was totally fine!

Jesus Christ. The lifeguard blew his whistle so of course it was perfectly safe. Your child was 3, and lucky to grow older from the sounds of it.

WeetabixTowels · 12/07/2023 14:50

NRTFT but OP this is how my son learnt to swim on the end! His swimming lessons were disrupted by COVID, so when we went on holiday he couldn’t swim - so he went down the slide and I caught him and eventually he figured out how to swim to the side on his own and demanded I leave him alone 😂

Catspyjamas17 · 12/07/2023 14:50

It's a big slide for a little one. A similar type to ones at the local pool where they need to be 8+ and able to swim. If it is slow then I'd worry about him stopping on the way down or mucking about, or what he does if other kids are in front of him. Plus if he's too small/light for it, he'll probably get thrown around and end up with cuts and bruises.

I managed to whack my head when I was little on one of those harmless enough wavy fairground slides you go down on a mat. I was just a bit too light for it.

Monkeypopcorn · 12/07/2023 14:52

I as a single mother took my then 4 year old abroad and there was a massive slide that went into the deep end of the pool.
I went down first and then waited to catch him, we had a blast.

YouWhatYouWhat · 12/07/2023 14:53

"It isnt falling out so much as the child being clattered by a much heavier child or adult coming down much, much faster."

It is if he's standing up when the adult flies into him full pelt

WhichEllie · 12/07/2023 14:54

HistoryRepeat · 12/07/2023 14:22

I like that people say FFS can't believe you're asking you awful woman...and then the next person says yeah of course, no problem.

Which I guess is kind of the point. As someone said there is no consensus

It's not busy by the way. 2 kids max waiting to go down. And then parents taking turns to stand at bottom to catch or for bigger kids no parent at bottom of course.

But the point that if DH says no then that's it really. He's mad with me for not backing him or "questioning him" but we move on

That’s the point I have an issue with too. Your husband is generally anxious, unreasonable, and is negatively impacting your son’s confidence with his constant “what-ifs.” He doesn’t get to dictate because he will dictate your son into the exact same toxic pattern he has inherited from his mother. You also say that you are the one that works all year and paid for the vacation, so I’m assuming your husband is PT and didn’t contribute to this.

Frankly, he doesn’t get to be sulky and stroppy when he starts up with his what-ifs and you challenge him for the sake of your son gaining confidence and having a normal childhood. He needs to learn some self-control and keep those to himself, and he also needs to understand that you are trying to do what is best for your son by not allowing these what-ifs to impact him. Judging by the way you’ve described it it sounds like a learned behaviour from his mother rather than genuine anxiety; this isn’t uncommon in women from older generations that learned that they can control others by pretending to be constantly worried and highly-strung. I’ve got one in my family too. Your husband is the bigger issue, rather than the slide itself, but it sounds like you know that.