To allow my son to do this on holiday?

[HistoryRepeat]

4 years old. Loves the water. But can't swim. We go every week in the kids pool and he's leaning to kick, use a float.

We are on holiday. There is a big slide and it goes into a deep plunge pool. The pool is only as wide as a bath. Very small but v deep.

DH saying DS not allowed to go as deep and he can't swim. I say he should be able to go and I stand at the bottom and catch him. The kids do go under but I would be right there. Its such a small pool, you can touch each side. I know he can't swim but if someone is literally stood there to catch him? He did go down one slide and went under for 2 seconds, he was a bit shocked but again I was right there scooped him up and he wanted to again.

Anyway turned into a big thing as DS is obsessed with going and DH insistingjust paddle pools. DH is safety obsessed imo but he says I'm being ridiculous and that I need to trust him and respect his viewpoint and I'm not presenting a united front.

Kids currently watching screens, DH off in a huff and me wandering why I work all year to afford to take them on holiday.

Would you let your kid who can't swim on the big slides if you were at the bottom? Am I being lax?

To a degree, and in the short term (IE over this issue on this holiday) then the decision probably needs to go in the DH favour just for a pleasant trip. But longer term, OP needs to have a conversation with her DH about expectations around their kid and risk, and her DH may need to deal with any anxiety issues he has.

Get him taught to swim! Some holiday resorts do on site swimming lessons so you may be able to get it sorted while still in holiday. Technically what you are suggesting (catching him) should be OK but my fear would be that once he's been emboldened by trying it with you a few times he might try and sneak another go on the slide when you're not looking. I'm quite a laid back mum but that would worry me. Little boys (and girls) can be real daredevils! One of my kids (who couldn't swim at the time) fell into a pool at a hotel. It was packed and there were two lifeguards but literally no one saw except me and that was pretty terrifying. Booked swimming lessons as soon as we got home!

It sounds really unsafe if it’s really deep and narrow. If you come off the slide wonky surely you’d land on the concrete? But no I wouldn’t. Go to a water park with tons of stuff for his age too.

DH is pretty risk averse. I'm more lax. If we ever disagree on a risk issue with the children, we go with who is taking the safest option. I sometimes think we r being a bit too cautious, but I'd rather that than something happened. I'd never forgive myself

My DH'S anxieties, risk aversion and phobias affected our DC's enjoyment of activities. My DS developed the same fear of heights but as an adult decided to conquer it himself. He so wanted to do stuff but his dad made him frightened. If you feel absolutely positive no harm will come to your son you should do it.

Similar to this. I should have found a pic first.

Maybe not a bath. A jacuzzi. What I'm saying is I couldn't lose him as its just not wide enough. Me and him in there we take up the whole pool. It also doesn't got that fast at all. I've seen kids having to give themselves extra pushes to get down.

I would say my DH is being way OTT. He thinks I'm being way too relaxed and why risk is...like lots of people here...but everything in life is calculated risk surely? Anyway we've managed to be total dicks and put him right off the idea od swimming all together by how DS is acting this afternoon

It would depend on the rules and conditions of the slide for us, if he’s allowed on, we’d allow DS aged 4 to go down, one go with him to the top (unless we could see him walk all the way to the top) floatation vest on, and one wait at the bottom. He’s very used to waterparks and slides though.

At a waterpark we were at recently, the life guard at the bottom allowed me to wait in the pool when she knew I was waiting for my son to come down (as quite often you aren’t allowed to wait in the landing area)

However, if one of us wasn’t happy, then we’d go with the person who was most risk averse, rather than argue about it.

Looking at the picture I'd be more concerned about the steps... you'll need one parent to go up top and one to wait really.

Your OP made it sound very deep but it can't be more than 120cm or so if you can stand comfortably in it? What flotation aid is your DS wearing?

Are you insane? 4 yrs old, can’t swim and you want to put him on that? Jesus Christ woman!

No way I’d allow that. I’m with your husband.

That is... worse than I was imagining.

Absolutely, categorically Nope.

Anyway we've managed to be total dicks and put him right off the idea od swimming all together by how DS is acting this afternoon

Oh dear.
Maybe best try to find something else to do today, have a proper conversation with your DH about how to mend this and move on.

To a degree, and in the short term (IE over this issue on this holiday) then the decision probably needs to go in the DH favour just for a pleasant trip. But longer term, OP needs to have a conversation with her DH about expectations around their kid and risk, and her DH may need to deal with any anxiety issues he has.

Yes. It may be that when your DS is old enough you can get him into activities where the risk assessments (age, kit, etc) have been done by an organisation if your DH is too cautious. As an example, we used to belong to a sailing club which allowed kids to start learning from 6, if they could swim (iirc 50m) and tread water and always with an appropriate buoyancy aid and always supervised and only if there was a safety boat on the water.

Oh god. OK. I promise its so slow. Kids are crawling down it. He went down another twisty slide a bit less high and he had the time of his life. I went down it and there were kids behind me of all ages. I actually agree the stairs seem a bit dangerous so one of us would go up with him. Maybe he can do it on my lap

@Mirabai

Mum makes sure she's correctly positioned.

It's not hard.

@Catspyjamas17

Have you not been in a pool with children before? It's not hard to position yourself to catch them at the bottom of a slide. Bound to be other parents waiting to do the same.

Fgs, he enjoyed the smaller slide, stick to that and tell him the big slide is for big kids. What the heck are you trying to achieve at this point?

Just put him on your lap. What would worry me most is if he comes to a stop then stands up to try and get someone's attention.

You can come out of slides at random angles even on the ground. It’s not rocket science.

As someone who was a very weak swimmer, went down a slide into a very deep pool, got dragged out then had to be given CPR, no. I don't recommend allowing a FOUR year old to do this. I was much older and have feared pools for most of my life since. Why risk it? I was traumatised. I also have a 4yo, who loves water. I would never allow it.

I promise its so slow. Kids are crawling down it.

Why is that making you feel like it's safer?? If it's that slow, he could stop and get himself into other kinds of trouble, on his own, at that height. Absolutely screw that. Tell him it's for bigger kids, same as white knuckle rides. Let him be 4yo and enjoy the stuff for kids his age. There's no rush and no need to take unnecessary risks.

😂😂😂😂😂

@ErrolTheDragon I'm not trying to achieve anything. What do you mean?

My child is keen to try the bigger slide. He is very brave and physical boy. I have looked at the other children on the slide and I'm a very strong swimmer and think it's absolutely safe for him to try.

My husband thinks it's too much for him.

So I wanted other people's views and I can see many agree with my husband.

I'm not trying to achieve anything. I'm trying to establish I'm being unreasonable of course. And perhaps I am.

But of course I want to support my children pushing themselves if safe to do so. We did horse riding last week. My husband was scared of that too.

You're at a holiday resort for a week with a 4 year old who can't swim yet. So why on earth is this a bunfight between paddling pool only vs. big slide into deep plunge pool! Why for the love of basic common sense are you not just spending the week teaching DS to swim properly in a normal size pool? How lucky is he to be able to learn intensively, outdoors, in the sun, on holiday! If he pesters about the slide, you tell him no, not until he can swim.
Parenting, instead of indulgence from you and over-caution from DH.

Choose your battles wisely! Your DH is right here!