To allow my son to do this on holiday?

[HistoryRepeat]

4 years old. Loves the water. But can't swim. We go every week in the kids pool and he's leaning to kick, use a float.

We are on holiday. There is a big slide and it goes into a deep plunge pool. The pool is only as wide as a bath. Very small but v deep.

DH saying DS not allowed to go as deep and he can't swim. I say he should be able to go and I stand at the bottom and catch him. The kids do go under but I would be right there. Its such a small pool, you can touch each side. I know he can't swim but if someone is literally stood there to catch him? He did go down one slide and went under for 2 seconds, he was a bit shocked but again I was right there scooped him up and he wanted to again.

Anyway turned into a big thing as DS is obsessed with going and DH insistingjust paddle pools. DH is safety obsessed imo but he says I'm being ridiculous and that I need to trust him and respect his viewpoint and I'm not presenting a united front.

Kids currently watching screens, DH off in a huff and me wandering why I work all year to afford to take them on holiday.

Would you let your kid who can't swim on the big slides if you were at the bottom? Am I being lax?

If you were allowed to stand in the slide pool I would, presuming you knew exactly when they’d be coming down the slide so you didn’t miss them.

I’m surprised so many people are saying no -
it wouldn’t occur to me not to allow this! DS has been going to ‘lessons’ since he was a few months old where he’s been encouraged to put his face in the water, though.

But different putting your face in water to going down an adult water slide into a plunge pool when you can’t swim though.

No way. Those slides aren't for 4yo non-swimmers. It's not about instant gratification regardless of the risks. It'll motivate him to learn to swim and he'll have the rest of his life to go on them.

My DNephew has just turned 5 and I’ve been taking him swimming both with and without his parents. He can’t swim but likes the water.

Last weekend when we went he had arm bands on but these were too tight. Spoke to lifeguard in kids pool who said as it’s shallow enough he should be ok, but he’s there in case not. I still followed him around thx pool (obvs he’s not swimming) but he’s getting used to the water as in previous trips, playing and at the end playing with a boy the same age, also a bit nervous of the water.

When u did take him to a pool with wave machine and slide I ensured I either went down the slide with him or stood at bottom to catch and arm bands on.

This occasion if you can be assured you’ll catch him or go down the slide with him then I think it’s ok. But keep an eye on him like a hawk. You could try to get him to float etc.

My DNephew is starting swimming lessons in the autumn.

I think you'd be bonkers to do this, quite apart from getting a lungful of water when he hits the pool, what if he hits you on the way in and you can't pull him out? I also think dismissing your husband's legitimate concerns is really shitty.

I was thinking yanbu but actually I agree with this. People aren't usually allowed to stand in the plunge pool, and it's annoying when they do and get in the way of people coming down the slide. I'd be very annoyed if I had kids using the slide and there was that one mum standing at the bottom to catch their child.
Surely it's just for this one holiday that you need to say no. He can have swimming lessons and be a confident swimmer by next time.

Not really! Both involve momentarily being under water, which I don’t see as a big deal in the slightest.

I do think if it’s safe it’s more about allowing kids to put face in water and get hair wet all things DNephew disliked until recently and even now still isn’t great about getting hair wet.

My daughter is 6 and can't swim without some help yet (massive waiting lists for lessons!!) but she goes down the slides with a swim vest and hasn't had a problem. She's sensible enough to know she needs her vest on to go in any big pools before anything bangs on about false sense of security.

100 percent no issue at all.

Wrapping children I. Cotton wool does no favours.

He may do it once and hate it but atleast he tried

She's 6 not 4, that's a big difference

I think for your son's safety I wouldn't do it. He needs to respect the water and understand that he can't do certain things until he can swim. It's a good motivator to learn. As a previous poster said he may just get the idea that it'd be ok to do it by himself when you turn your back for a few minutes.

"I wouldn't allow it. Suppose you suffer a medical emergency at the crucial moment and were unable to retrieve your child?"
Don't worry. The aliens that arrived at exactly the same moment would save both of you...

Not a chance I'd do this.

Accidents happen so quickly.

Even with going under the water. If your DC is under fractionally too long because you didn't catch them it can cause secondary drowning which can be fatal.

Why take the risk.

www.todaysparent.com/family/family-health/secondary-drowning/

I'd only do this with a child that was old enough to understand why you had to be there to catch them. My worry would be that you would be showing them that it's ok to jump into deep water, and I don't think a four year old would understand that it's not ok to do this when you are not there to catch them. Four year olds aren't known for their rational thinking.

The actual using of the slide/catching them wouldn't worry me (assuming the slide isn't massive and won't throw them about/scare them).

The ‘suppose you suffer a medical emergency’ could be used to stop you doing literally anything though? If we thought like that we wouldn’t drive our kids, cross roads, be alone with them at bathtime, anything remotely dangerous!

I’d allow this if the height restriction of the slide does, he was in a floatie vest and I was at the bottom. There’s a fine line between safety and teaching kids to be scared.

With someone there to catch him I'd be less concerned about him not being able to swim and more concerned about whether or not he's comfortable and happy going under the water. If you're at the pool every week, is he regularly going under, knows how to hold his breath etc etc? In which case, I'd probably be okay with it although I would absolutely do some practising ahead of time. It sounds like he's almost at the point at which he could at least get himself to the surface if he went under and you didn't grab him quick enough.

I remember staying with a friend with a toddler. He couldn't swim yet but was super comfortable in the water and loved jumping in, going under and being hauled out by her. Only for the two of us to suddenly see him make a leap for the pool while we were all OUT the pool. You've never seen two women move so fast in your life!!!

We had a similar situation on holiday. We compromised with DS riding on the slide with DH ( it was a rubber ring slide)
As it happened, they went down super fast, the boat thing tipped and they both went under.
My heart stopped. Actually stopped. And then they came back up again. DS (5) in DHs arms howling with laughter.
Would that be an option (you ride together)?
I trusted my husband and his swimming ability and water safety

If it was the other way round though, I think my husband would not have been okay with it - probably something to do with him needing to be in control.

I suspect that's your problem really.

Good luck.

I wouldn't let him. I'd focus on learning to swim and then he can do it. Use it to motivate him to swim.

Not very safe, both having him go under the water being a non-swimmer and you standing there. Accidents do happen in water parks, and the combo you are suggesting sounds like more risk than fun. It is not the last time you do water slides, can this not wait till he is older/has learnt to swim?

Why not get him swimming lessons then he could do it another year? I wouldn't allow a child that couldn't swim in water alone.

Some of those slides are dangerous in themselves if they are designed for adults sized bodies as a young child's body may get flung around more on the descent resulting in broken limbs.

Surely everyone has young children jumping from the edge of a pool into the arms of a waiting adult? How is this different?

I generally think of myself as very risk adverse, but I'm a amazed at the strong views on this. If you're allowed to wait at the bottom, I.e. there's enough space to make that safe, I wouldn't hesitate.

i would (and did) with DS in a flotation vest, and only after teaching them to duck under water and breathe out so they understood they shouldn't breathe in under water.

Children need to learn how to swim, but I'd be a bit more safety conscious than you sound and a bit less careful than your DH.