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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To allow my son to do this on holiday?

342 replies

HistoryRepeat · 12/07/2023 10:18

4 years old. Loves the water. But can't swim. We go every week in the kids pool and he's leaning to kick, use a float.

We are on holiday. There is a big slide and it goes into a deep plunge pool. The pool is only as wide as a bath. Very small but v deep.

DH saying DS not allowed to go as deep and he can't swim. I say he should be able to go and I stand at the bottom and catch him. The kids do go under but I would be right there. Its such a small pool, you can touch each side. I know he can't swim but if someone is literally stood there to catch him? He did go down one slide and went under for 2 seconds, he was a bit shocked but again I was right there scooped him up and he wanted to again.

Anyway turned into a big thing as DS is obsessed with going and DH insistingjust paddle pools. DH is safety obsessed imo but he says I'm being ridiculous and that I need to trust him and respect his viewpoint and I'm not presenting a united front.

Kids currently watching screens, DH off in a huff and me wandering why I work all year to afford to take them on holiday.

Would you let your kid who can't swim on the big slides if you were at the bottom? Am I being lax?

OP posts:
Dotjones · 12/07/2023 10:23

I wouldn't allow it. Suppose you suffer a medical emergency at the crucial moment and were unable to retrieve your child?

It just feels like an unnecessary risk to me. Tell him that once he learns to swim properly he'll be allowed to use water equipment like this. He needs to learn to respect water though, it is deadly, many swimmers drown every year, and throwing someone who can't swim properly into the mix is asking for trouble.

Dotjones · 12/07/2023 10:23

But it's your choice of course, chances are it'll be fine, but it's an avoidable risk.

JulieHoney · 12/07/2023 10:25

Floatation vest and you catching him sounds a reasonable compromise.

As does a couple of weeks of intensive lessons with “going on the slide on holiday” to motivate him.

StampOnTheGround · 12/07/2023 10:25

I'd definitely be okay with it!

cocksstrideintheevening · 12/07/2023 10:26

No I wouldn't. Is there not a height restriction on it anyway if it's so deep?

Libmama · 12/07/2023 10:27

Yes I’d do the same as you. Going under the water for a few seconds won’t harm him

Skyblue92 · 12/07/2023 10:28

I’m with DH on this. There’s no guarantee you’ll catch him. Also you kind find there’s either a height restriction or he can’t go anyway as he can’t swim.

PuttingDownRoots · 12/07/2023 10:28

Is there a lifeguard? Usually spectators aren't allowed in the slide pools but you've said you've done it like that...

My DDs used to have little flotation jackets that gave enough help they could swim to the side themselves

Loopyloooooo · 12/07/2023 10:28

I wouldn't...he can't swim, seems bonkers to me to let him in deep water even in the circumstances you describe..

But secondly, your DH is is parent too. Why does your decision trump his, especially over something to do with safety? It's not worth falling out over on holiday and DH being stressed over it.

NerrSnerr · 12/07/2023 10:29

Are you actually allowed in the pool to catch him? You're often not allowed when people are coming down.

Shouldhavebutdidnt · 12/07/2023 10:29

I would absolutely let them do it if I was at the bottom to collect them. I am a confident swimmer (ex lifeguard) so would have no concerns.

However, DH is less confident in water & not a capable swimming so I wouldn’t let him be there to collect them. Is their insecurity coming from their own swimming ability?

With everything things are an educated risk, if you are healthy, capable in water & feel confident you should just do it.

WhileMyGuitarGentlyWeeps · 12/07/2023 10:29

Is this a joke?! Hmm Of COURSE he can't do this if he can't bloody swim!

Get him some swimming lessons, get him taught to swim and THEN let him do it. If you can afford this holiday, you can afford bloody swimming lessons!

TolkiensFallow · 12/07/2023 10:30

Depends how big a big slide is. Some of them absolutely not but there are some middling ones where I definitely would.

WashableVelvet · 12/07/2023 10:30

I just go down the slide with DS! Any excuse to join in.

CuriousGeorge80 · 12/07/2023 10:31

I probably would to be honest!

Ostryga · 12/07/2023 10:31

No I wouldn’t do this with a non-swimming child. Sure the risk is small but why even do it in the first place?

What if he shoots out and collided with you and in the few seconds it takes for you to sort yourself out he goes under? Nope, not for me!

Peacoffee · 12/07/2023 10:31

I would allow him out of shallow water in a normal pool with a float on as long as you are with him. Even my 2 year old was allowed out of the baby pool on holiday as we were with her.
But I wouldn't let him go down a big water slide that ended in a deep pool.

Marmite27 · 12/07/2023 10:32

My worry would be letting him do it with someone catching him might lead to him nipping off on his own for a go because he’s ‘allowed’.

It would be a hard no from me to prevent this situation.

singJoanna · 12/07/2023 10:32

I'd let him, I'd get him a float vest and be standing at the bottom. Or go down with him on your lap.

cinnamonfrenchtoast · 12/07/2023 10:34

I'm surprised you're allowed to wait at the bottom to catch him.

PuttingDownRoots · 12/07/2023 10:34

singJoanna · 12/07/2023 10:32

I'd let him, I'd get him a float vest and be standing at the bottom. Or go down with him on your lap.

And adult landing on a small child in a deep pool is very dangerous!!

ErrolTheDragon · 12/07/2023 10:34

You both have quite reasonable considered positions.

However, in this instance I'd tend to agree with your DH - the risk, even if small, isn't worth the momentary pleasure. It's certainly not worth the adults getting upset over and spoiling the holiday!
Your DS is only 4, there are so many things he'll be able to do when he can swim. He doesn't need to do everything now.

Sirzy · 12/07/2023 10:34

Someone standing at the bottom of the slide sounds like an accident waiting to happen

sunflowerdaisyrose · 12/07/2023 10:35

I'd let him if he doesn't mind going under, yes, as you'll be right there,

Qilin · 12/07/2023 10:35

What are the slide/end pool rules?