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AIBU?

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Original poster

To allow my son to do this on holiday?

342 replies

HistoryRepeat · 12/07/2023 10:18

4 years old. Loves the water. But can't swim. We go every week in the kids pool and he's leaning to kick, use a float.

We are on holiday. There is a big slide and it goes into a deep plunge pool. The pool is only as wide as a bath. Very small but v deep.

DH saying DS not allowed to go as deep and he can't swim. I say he should be able to go and I stand at the bottom and catch him. The kids do go under but I would be right there. Its such a small pool, you can touch each side. I know he can't swim but if someone is literally stood there to catch him? He did go down one slide and went under for 2 seconds, he was a bit shocked but again I was right there scooped him up and he wanted to again.

Anyway turned into a big thing as DS is obsessed with going and DH insistingjust paddle pools. DH is safety obsessed imo but he says I'm being ridiculous and that I need to trust him and respect his viewpoint and I'm not presenting a united front.

Kids currently watching screens, DH off in a huff and me wandering why I work all year to afford to take them on holiday.

Would you let your kid who can't swim on the big slides if you were at the bottom? Am I being lax?

OP posts:
ImNotAsThinkAsYouDrunkIAm · 12/07/2023 11:20

All those saying ‘what if you had an emergency’, or ‘what if you didn’t catch him’ - are you seriously saying that you wouldn’t take your child in a pool out of their depth even if you were there with them? How on earth would any child ever learn to swim? And what about baby swimming- is that not allowed either?! Babies are out of their depth in any depth of water because, you know, they can’t stand!

Elphame · 12/07/2023 11:20

No I absolutely wouldn't. Not until he can swim. What happens if he panics?

Marblessolveeverything · 12/07/2023 11:20

Take his enthusiasm and get him a pool and have both of you teach him how to swim. Your DH needs to see DC be confident in the water and be able to right himself and I dont blame him. Every year there are tragedies, I appreciate risks are necessary in life but I would want my child confidently swimming before engaging with big slides etc to negate the risk.

Remaker · 12/07/2023 11:21

Are you actually allowed to do this? Any water slide I’ve been to has strict rules against anyone being in the water close to the slide. It’s a safety issue to stop the sliders flying into the person at the bottom.

I live in a country full of water where we take water safety very seriously. You need to enforce strict rules around what you can do near water as a non swimmer. He’s not old enough for that slide. End of. Otherwise you risk him thinking he’s fine and sneaking off to do it on his own. It happens all the time in that age group - they have no fear.

Original poster
HistoryRepeat · 12/07/2023 11:23

Sorry I've been confusing. Very deep for him as well over his head. Not deep for me. I'm 5ft7.

OP posts:
BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 12/07/2023 11:24

Are two people allowed on it?

PuttingDownRoots · 12/07/2023 11:25

Would you share a picture of the slide (or link to hotel) as I think we are all imagining different things.

Original poster
HistoryRepeat · 12/07/2023 11:26

Even if I didn't catch him and he went under, we are in a pool small enough where I can touch all sides standing still. I can't lose him in there. It's like a deep big bath. My husband is always talking about "what if" and it does my head in. Same as my MiL. That's why I chose my username.

OP posts:
SheRaaaaa · 12/07/2023 11:27

It can't be that deep if you can stand in it to catch him Confused

mayorofcasterbridge · 12/07/2023 11:27

He's 4. He does as he's told.

How would you live with yourself if god forbid, something did go wrong, and you'd gone against your DH's wishes?

Manage his expectations - it's easy at that age. Tell him he can't go on it until he can swim, and that he can start swimming lessons as soon as you can find him a class. He sounds confident in the water which is great, but don't risk that confidence by letting him do something he's not old/big enough to do!! It wouldn't take much to put a child off.

deste · 12/07/2023 11:27

I would and i was a swimming teacher.

SheRaaaaa · 12/07/2023 11:27

HistoryRepeat · 12/07/2023 11:26

Even if I didn't catch him and he went under, we are in a pool small enough where I can touch all sides standing still. I can't lose him in there. It's like a deep big bath. My husband is always talking about "what if" and it does my head in. Same as my MiL. That's why I chose my username.

I couldn't put up with this nonsense. Its draining and ridiculous.

Duckskitbank · 12/07/2023 11:28

Put armbands on him and wait near the bottom. At a pool we go to the little ones go down the big slide with armbands on and then either doggy paddle to the side or an older sibling or parent pulls them out. I don’t see the big deal unless you are talking about one of those “wedgie” style slides with an enormous drop.

SoSadForCav · 12/07/2023 11:28

Catspyjamas17 · 12/07/2023 11:16

They usually aren't allowed to do this kind of slide until they are about 8 years old and comfortably able to swim lengths in swimming pools in the UK- in one pool near us they have to do a swimming test first.

I wouldn't take the risk. I remember being nervous with DD1 doing this for the first time when she was 8, and would she pop up safely at the end?! And she was a good swimmer by then (and of course she was fine). At four years old they will be happy with little slides into the toddler pool.

There's plenty of time for thrills and spills when they are older- don't wish their lives away or rush it.

@Catspyjamas17 have you read the OP's posts? There are two slides, he's been on the small one & wants to go on the big one.

UK rules, do not apply in Spain. He's allowed by the resort to do it, it comes out into a pool his mum is able to stand in, he knows he'd go under initially, everyone will no matter if they can swim or not.

what exactly is the problem.

DemonicCaveMaggot · 12/07/2023 11:28

How long is the slide and where is it? All the water parks and community pools I have been to would not allow anyone except life guards to be in the area at the outlet of a slide. They mostly do allow adults to go down with children held in front of them.

If I saw some random woman lurking around at the bottom of the slide my children were about to go down I'd tell you to get out of there before you get kicked in the head.

I would take this as an incentive for your DS to learn to swim so he can go down the slide safely on his own with you standing at the edge nearby.

BanditsOnTheHorizon · 12/07/2023 11:30

I used to do exactly this with both my dc. My dc did have flotation devices on too, the foam ones you strap to their back.

adviceneeded1990 · 12/07/2023 11:30

SheRaaaaa · 12/07/2023 11:27

I couldn't put up with this nonsense. Its draining and ridiculous.

Show quote history

Same, this kind of OTT over thinking will severely limit your life and your DCs lives!

Summermeadowflowers · 12/07/2023 11:31

would take this as an incentive for your DS to learn to swim so he can go down the slide safely on his own with you standing at the edge nearby.

Which is arguably far more risky than the proposal to catch him! Irrespective of swimming ability, I wouldn’t be letting a four year old into deep water alone - but I absolutely would with me with them. DS has gone under a few times at swimming, it really isn’t a problem.

Sirzy · 12/07/2023 11:32

Do you have a picture of the slide as I am guessing everyone is picturing it differently!

PhilNW · 12/07/2023 11:33

It's a recipe for disaster, when/if it goes wrong who will get the blame...

How will you explain it to the police/coroner/media?

WimbyAce · 12/07/2023 11:34

Is he wearing armbands? My daughter can't swim but I wouldn't have an issue if she's wearing armbands.

Whichwaytooo · 12/07/2023 11:36

If he can’t swim and get out safely himself, that’s telling you he’s too young for the slide.
You don’t want to risk him slipping off to try it again when you’re not there to catch him. He’s 4, just say no and distract.
Also, given the exit pool is so small, it sounds dangerous for you to be lingering in there whilst other people are coming down.

Waffle78 · 12/07/2023 11:36

Can he not go down with you? If he's a non swimmer there's a maximum depth they can be in. I know our local bath's doesn't allow non swimmers in the deep end. They have a lifeguard sat right at the point they are allowed up to. But from what I can remember mine could only go down slides with someone catching if they came out in shallow water. Even with arm bands they can sometimes come off. They did with my son when he was 2. But I was right there to catch him. Unless you have a swimming jacket which stay on much better.

viques · 12/07/2023 11:37

I think you are very unreasonable. Some activities are for older children/adults to enjoy, and they should be able to enjoy them without very small children and their parent potentially doing something hazardous and limiting the activity for other people . When your child is older, taller and a confident swimmer he will be able to have fun in water parks and you will know that he is safe because he is big enough and a good enough swimmer to cope. If he isn’t safe using the slide on his own then he shouldn’t be using it. Find other water based activities that he can enjoy.

MaggyNoodles · 12/07/2023 11:37

Yes, fine.
Also, he's never going to learn to swim unless he goes in deep water. This will give him great confidence.