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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To allow my son to do this on holiday?

342 replies

HistoryRepeat · 12/07/2023 10:18

4 years old. Loves the water. But can't swim. We go every week in the kids pool and he's leaning to kick, use a float.

We are on holiday. There is a big slide and it goes into a deep plunge pool. The pool is only as wide as a bath. Very small but v deep.

DH saying DS not allowed to go as deep and he can't swim. I say he should be able to go and I stand at the bottom and catch him. The kids do go under but I would be right there. Its such a small pool, you can touch each side. I know he can't swim but if someone is literally stood there to catch him? He did go down one slide and went under for 2 seconds, he was a bit shocked but again I was right there scooped him up and he wanted to again.

Anyway turned into a big thing as DS is obsessed with going and DH insistingjust paddle pools. DH is safety obsessed imo but he says I'm being ridiculous and that I need to trust him and respect his viewpoint and I'm not presenting a united front.

Kids currently watching screens, DH off in a huff and me wandering why I work all year to afford to take them on holiday.

Would you let your kid who can't swim on the big slides if you were at the bottom? Am I being lax?

OP posts:
ImNotReallySpartacus · 12/07/2023 11:06

Dotjones · 12/07/2023 10:23

I wouldn't allow it. Suppose you suffer a medical emergency at the crucial moment and were unable to retrieve your child?

It just feels like an unnecessary risk to me. Tell him that once he learns to swim properly he'll be allowed to use water equipment like this. He needs to learn to respect water though, it is deadly, many swimmers drown every year, and throwing someone who can't swim properly into the mix is asking for trouble.

Well, any of us could have a stroke at any moment, but it's impractical to avoid any activity that could be dangerous in the event of a sudden stroke, so we carry on crossing roads, driving, climbing ladders, chewing food etc on the basis that it's a very small risk and worth taking.

00100001 · 12/07/2023 11:07

Dotjones · 12/07/2023 10:23

I wouldn't allow it. Suppose you suffer a medical emergency at the crucial moment and were unable to retrieve your child?

It just feels like an unnecessary risk to me. Tell him that once he learns to swim properly he'll be allowed to use water equipment like this. He needs to learn to respect water though, it is deadly, many swimmers drown every year, and throwing someone who can't swim properly into the mix is asking for trouble.

"I wouldn't allow it. Suppose you suffer a medical emergency at the crucial moment and were unable to retrieve your child?"

Well in that case, the child should never be in water???

BellaJuno · 12/07/2023 11:07

We let our non-swimming child go down slides into big pools if we were there to catch them. They wore arm bands and there were lifeguards. It’s a great way to get their confidence up in the water as too many kids rely on being able to touch the bottom of the pool.

ActDottie · 12/07/2023 11:08

I wouldn’t allow it. I’m with your husband on this one.

00100001 · 12/07/2023 11:09

Franklin2000 · 12/07/2023 10:51

I’m a very chilled out parent but no, I wouldn’t do this at all. I don’t mess around where water is concerned. You say the plunge pool is very deep? What if he goes too deep and you can’t reach him quick enough? What if he then panics? What if he drops in the water and comes up away from you and panics? What if he sinks like a stone as both of my children had a tendency to do before swimming lessons. Tell DS he can’t swim so has to stay on the smaller slide then get him lessons when you get home.

It cant; be THAT deep if OP can easily stand in it.

MagpiePi · 12/07/2023 11:10

CurlewKate · 12/07/2023 10:43

"I wouldn't allow it. Suppose you suffer a medical emergency at the crucial moment and were unable to retrieve your child?"
Don't worry. The aliens that arrived at exactly the same moment would save both of you...

😂😂😂

00100001 · 12/07/2023 11:10

Whyemseeaye · 12/07/2023 10:43

Not a chance I'd do this.

Accidents happen so quickly.

Even with going under the water. If your DC is under fractionally too long because you didn't catch them it can cause secondary drowning which can be fatal.

Why take the risk.

www.todaysparent.com/family/family-health/secondary-drowning/

Well, let's ever let children in the water then. ever.

JudgeRudy · 12/07/2023 11:10

Are small children/non swimmers even allowed on the slide? I'd imagine the owners have done a risk assessment and concluded that it's unsuitable for unaccompanied children. If that's the case, it's a no go anyway.
Would your husband be prepared to compromise? Would he go down the slide himself with little one on his lap and you at the bottom. Appease him by saying l know you'll hold him properly and ensure he's safe.
Going forward though this looks like it could be an ongoing problem. If he's risk averse your child might grow up anxious and unconfident. Of course it could be that you are actually an irresponsible risk taker with little sense of danger and are in danger of putting your child at risk. Look around and gauge what other families are doing. If there are other young children going solo on the slide, do they appear to be well balanced behaved kids at say mealtimes....or are they feral monsters?

ZiriForEver · 12/07/2023 11:11

I wouldn't plan to catch him directly from the slide.
However, if he is fine enough with getting under the water for a second (sounds so and sounds it can be trained on the other slide) and you would be there to help him out, I would be inclined to give it a try.

Zhougzhoug · 12/07/2023 11:11

I wouldn't have done this with a 4yo non-swimmer. Maybe a very sensible doggy-paddler if they were wearing a flotation vest. They would need to be sensible enough to understand the risks of inhaling water. Why not spend some time this holiday teaching them to swim a bit instead?

NancyDrawed · 12/07/2023 11:12

Very small but v deep.

I say he should be able to go and I stand at the bottom and catch him.

If it is shallow enough to be standing up in, then I would possibly allow a non swimming 4 year old to go down a slide into it if I was actually standing up in the water, depending on how fast and tall the slide was.

But if the pool is V deep as you have said, then no, I would't, as I would have to tread water while I was waiting and if the child landed on me and we both went under - too much risk for me, I'm with your DH on this one.

nasanas · 12/07/2023 11:13

I probably would even put a 4 year old swimmer in it into a deep and narrow plunge pool. I'm sure there are plenty other things to do for him though, why is it causing a breakdown of the day?

Whyemseeaye · 12/07/2023 11:13

No @00100001 don't let small children who are unable to swim in to water that is unsuitable for them.

I wouldn't let my children do what OP is suggesting. But her child is her concern.

nasanas · 12/07/2023 11:13

*WOULD NOT

WillyLows · 12/07/2023 11:13

On the basis of your update I would probably do it but if your husband is completely against it I'm not sure you should overrule him - I wouldn't like it if my partner overruled me on something like that.

Idtotallybangdreamoftheendlessnotgonnalie · 12/07/2023 11:13

A 2 second dunk and scooping him out is a complete non -issue if he's comfortable being underwater and prepared for it, surely?

If he wants to go down it then follow his lead.

Spirallingdownwards · 12/07/2023 11:13

Yes, if you are allowed to catch at the bottom do so. We used to go to a place in Scotland with this type of slide. DS used to go down from that sort of age and one of us would catch him. He is now a part time lifeguard at uni!

Remember when you are little every end is a deep end. The confidence this gives them actually helps them learn to swim. Maybe the first time one of you could go down with him and then let him try solo.

Original poster
HistoryRepeat · 12/07/2023 11:14

Two slides. Been on one and he goes under for a second but the slide is shorter and slower. He wants to go on the bigger one. I'm definitely not pushing him. He is desperate to try it. I said he could as stupidly presumed we would do the same as we did with the other slide. Think DS going under on smaller slide scared DH and now saying no slides. I'm not pushing anything. Just rubbish to be at a holiday camp with two slides in the middle of it and not go on it. Also DH being worried is confusing DS and now he's saying he just wants to watch telly and "not swim anymore"

OP posts:
00100001 · 12/07/2023 11:14

ErrolTheDragon · 12/07/2023 10:42

She's 6 not 4, that's a big difference

Show quote history

Surely that depends?

A kid that turned 6 today and a 4y year old that is turning 5 tomorrow are only 1 year apart

The kid that is turning 7 tomorrow and the child who turned 4 today... 3 years.

Iolani · 12/07/2023 11:14

FictionalCharacter · 12/07/2023 10:39

I was thinking yanbu but actually I agree with this. People aren't usually allowed to stand in the plunge pool, and it's annoying when they do and get in the way of people coming down the slide. I'd be very annoyed if I had kids using the slide and there was that one mum standing at the bottom to catch their child.
Surely it's just for this one holiday that you need to say no. He can have swimming lessons and be a confident swimmer by next time.

Show quote history

Agree with @FictionalCharacter
If you’re getting in the way of other kids coming down then it’s a no.
Especially as it sounds like a small plunge pool, even standing back as far as you can means you will be in the way.

Catspyjamas17 · 12/07/2023 11:16

They usually aren't allowed to do this kind of slide until they are about 8 years old and comfortably able to swim lengths in swimming pools in the UK- in one pool near us they have to do a swimming test first.

I wouldn't take the risk. I remember being nervous with DD1 doing this for the first time when she was 8, and would she pop up safely at the end?! And she was a good swimmer by then (and of course she was fine). At four years old they will be happy with little slides into the toddler pool.

There's plenty of time for thrills and spills when they are older- don't wish their lives away or rush it.

ForeverFriendsAndPierrot · 12/07/2023 11:16

Who takes him to the top of the slide and supervises him getting on it safely?

00100001 · 12/07/2023 11:16

Whyemseeaye · 12/07/2023 11:13

No @00100001 don't let small children who are unable to swim in to water that is unsuitable for them.

I wouldn't let my children do what OP is suggesting. But her child is her concern.

What is unsuitable about certain bits of water?

I'd say any non-swimming child can be in water where an adult can stand up easily. In order to hold/supervise/retrieve etc

Which is what OP is describing.

PeachesOnTheBeaches · 12/07/2023 11:18

YABVU and far too lax. You should never mess with children’s safety in the water.

SoSadForCav · 12/07/2023 11:19

HistoryRepeat · 12/07/2023 11:06

No height restriction or rules really. We are in Spain. I can easily stand in it. I can easily catch him. And when he goes under in the other pool he looks shocked for a second and then wants to go again.

@HistoryRepeat

if you can easily stand in it, then it's not incredibly deep!!

As you can easily stand in it, then I'd let him, no problem.

with your DH, why does he think you should 'respect' his opinion, but not him yours??

i don't get his objection.

he's very brave, at 4, to climb up to it & get on the slide.