Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To allow my son to do this on holiday?

342 replies

HistoryRepeat · 12/07/2023 10:18

4 years old. Loves the water. But can't swim. We go every week in the kids pool and he's leaning to kick, use a float.

We are on holiday. There is a big slide and it goes into a deep plunge pool. The pool is only as wide as a bath. Very small but v deep.

DH saying DS not allowed to go as deep and he can't swim. I say he should be able to go and I stand at the bottom and catch him. The kids do go under but I would be right there. Its such a small pool, you can touch each side. I know he can't swim but if someone is literally stood there to catch him? He did go down one slide and went under for 2 seconds, he was a bit shocked but again I was right there scooped him up and he wanted to again.

Anyway turned into a big thing as DS is obsessed with going and DH insistingjust paddle pools. DH is safety obsessed imo but he says I'm being ridiculous and that I need to trust him and respect his viewpoint and I'm not presenting a united front.

Kids currently watching screens, DH off in a huff and me wandering why I work all year to afford to take them on holiday.

Would you let your kid who can't swim on the big slides if you were at the bottom? Am I being lax?

OP posts:
TheOrigRights · 12/07/2023 11:37

You ask whether I would have let my non-swimming 4 yo child do this.
Absolutely - if they wanted to.
Our holiday to Spain when DS was 4 was the absolute best thing for his swimming skills. He wasn't fearful of the water, we just hadn't been swimming enough at home for him to become proficient.
A few goes on the slide with your scooping him up and I bet by the 5th time he'll be paddling his way to the edge himself.

As for how you and your DH come to an agreement, I can't help you with. It sounds like even if 100% of people on here think it's OK and you showed him the thread he still wouldn't back down.

TheOrigRights · 12/07/2023 11:38

I would imagine that the slide may well state that non-swimmers can't use it anyway.

Catspyjamas17 · 12/07/2023 11:39

SoSadForCav · 12/07/2023 11:28

@Catspyjamas17 have you read the OP's posts? There are two slides, he's been on the small one & wants to go on the big one.

UK rules, do not apply in Spain. He's allowed by the resort to do it, it comes out into a pool his mum is able to stand in, he knows he'd go under initially, everyone will no matter if they can swim or not.

what exactly is the problem.

Show quote history

Different countries have different H&S rules. I'd be looking at why those rules exist rather than thinking "I'm in a different country - no rules, so it must be safe!"

That said, if there were lots of little kids using the slide and parents were catching them at the bottom or could go on with them I'd probably think it was safe. I could be imagining a completely different type of slide than OP is describing, but I'd always advise caution around slides and water. Particularly as adults, never mind children, have had really nasty accidents on water slides. Kids can also drown or inhale water extremely quickly and they can die from secondary drowning if they go under and swallow water. I used to share an office with someone who dealt with personal injury claims and I have never forgotten hearing the details of secondary drowning involving a young child.

If it was all older kids and my DD wanted to go on just because she was fearless at that age then I'd probably not be allowing her on as it doesn't look appropriate.

DD2 was extremely fearless and as she was very tall for her age at 4 (she is 5'10" now at 14) - I took her on all sorts of rollercoasters and she enjoyed it a good deal more than I did! She has always been extremely physically able and did climbing walls, and went up big slides and climbing frames in the park, with me hovering nervously behind her- desperately trying not to pass on my fear of heights.

But water is different, the above are much more controlled risks - and there is a much bigger risk of something going wrong, if I thought it was at all unsuitable - dropping into deep water for a non-swimmer, I'd say no.

riotlady · 12/07/2023 11:39

Honestly wouldn’t even occur to me that it’s not fine, surely it’s no different to small children practicing jumping in the pool with an adult nearby to catch them?

“how will you explain it to the coroner” ffs 🙄

ThisIsACoolUserName · 12/07/2023 11:40

Only on Mumsnet would people be worried about suffering a medical emergency at the exact split second that you needed to retrieve your child!! 😅

Be careful OP, because there might be a swarm of giant hornets that move in as you're waiting at the bottom of the slide and swamp the area, stinging you 100 times and leaving you totally incapacitated.

Or you could slip over on a particularly large seagull poo, hit your head and get knocked unconscious.

It's probably not worth the risk...

IamfeelingHopeful · 12/07/2023 11:40

I think the key here is where on you is the water if you are 5ft 7inches?
If it was chest high and your arms were well free of the water - different to your arms are just free.
Also - I would make it into a safety exercise - get him to practise going in under the water and holding his breath. Also get him to practise going into the water and then coming up and floating on his back.
When you think he can do these two things - get him to practise them again with a flotation vest on.
And once this is successful than I would take him.
Having grown up in Australia - we would view opportunities to safely challenge our kids as a good thing. No one plans to accidentally fall in the water so getting used to the shock and your body switching into automatic survival mode is a good experience and much better than DH's plan of avoidance.
Unless of course you explain that by very deep you can stand but your arms are only just out of the water...not so good.

BreatheAndFocus · 12/07/2023 11:40

Why risk it? The U.K. rules (over 8yrs) are there for a reason. It’s not just drowning, it’s falling off the slide if it’s open-topped rather than a tube - falling by accident and if he decides to stop, climb back up, over the side, etc. Children (and adults) can drown in seconds. Why risk it? He’ll have plenty of time to do it when he’s older, and understanding certain things are only for certain ages/size/abilities is something he needs to learn anyway.

The fact he wants to do it is irrelevant. He’s 4. He has no idea of risk. My DB would happily have driven our car at 4yrs old, but my DPs obviously didn’t let him. He really wanted to though 🤔

Better safe than sorry. Your DH is right.

Familycourtdrama · 12/07/2023 11:42

I went to Centre parcs with my little one and she can't swim, I sat her on my lap when we went down the flumes, she wasn't even under water for more than a second as I went under I pushed her up. Could you go on it with him?

Frankenpug23 · 12/07/2023 11:42

No I wouldn’t allow it not until they are very confident in the water - not necessarily swimming any distance - but not until they can hold their own.

Kugela · 12/07/2023 11:42

I wouldn’t be happy with a non swimming 4 years old going on the slide. Some risks aren’t worth taking.

Seamsthesame · 12/07/2023 11:42

Dotjones · 12/07/2023 10:23

I wouldn't allow it. Suppose you suffer a medical emergency at the crucial moment and were unable to retrieve your child?

It just feels like an unnecessary risk to me. Tell him that once he learns to swim properly he'll be allowed to use water equipment like this. He needs to learn to respect water though, it is deadly, many swimmers drown every year, and throwing someone who can't swim properly into the mix is asking for trouble.

Do you drive a car with your kids in?!

Scirocco · 12/07/2023 11:42

YABU.

He's only just learning to swim and can't be relied upon to get himself to the surface if he goes under. I'd expect a child going on a big slide into water deeper than they can stand to need to be able to get themselves to the surface independently.

I know someone who, as a child, was sent down a similar slide in a similar context. The person at the bottom got distracted at a crucial moment, missed catching the child and the child went under. Obviously they survived, but it was very frightening for them and could have had a much less happy ending. All it takes is for there to be a distraction for the catcher, or a miscalculation of how fast the child is going, and you end up with an unnecessary, risky situation of a child who can't swim finding themselves suddenly underwater.

SchrodingersWife · 12/07/2023 11:42

I wouldn't let him do it. He could still go under and be left with a fear of water which he currently doesn't have. You could get distracted/hurt/miss him. Also, he could then try going into deep water or on large slides when you're not there because you've normalised that it isn't a risky situation for him.

LysHastighed · 12/07/2023 11:42

All the slides I’ve seen in Spain have been restricted to 6 and above. If this one isn’t, it must be smaller than other posters are imagining.
I wouldn’t do it if we couldn’t come to an agreement as joint parents, irrespective of what it was, but if making the decision alone I’d probably do it if it looked safe (which none of us can really tell from the description).
I wouldn’t ever go down a slide with a child as I’ve read it’s the number one cause of fractures in children (limb stuck between adult and slide).

thecatinthetwat · 12/07/2023 11:44

Sounds fun op. I would do it, so would my DH. That’s the issue here isn’t it? I would really struggle to be with someone so risk-averse because I’m not.

YeCannaeChangeTheLawsOfPhysics · 12/07/2023 11:44

As long as you are there to catch him at the bottom of course it is fine.

Yes I would allow and yes I have allowed.

OhDoh · 12/07/2023 11:44

we had this recently on holiday and life guard was fine with kids going down with arm bands on. We caught them at the bottom.

unicornglittersprinkles · 12/07/2023 11:44

I'd put a floatation vest or armbands on him as well as being there to catch him. That's what we've always done with ours. In fact, we still do despite them being 6 and capable of swimming (although not strongly). I wouldn't take any risks with water and the disorientation of going under after a fast slide with a big splash at the end is not a risk I'd take without adequate precautions

stayathomer · 12/07/2023 11:45

for the person suggesting a floatation device There have been cases of vests etc slipping as the child hit the water and the children getting tangled. He will hate water forever if you give him that fright. It really depends on the slide op, if it’s tiny and he can keep slow, fine, bigger and the possibility of them turning around in it again you’ve a chance of giving him a fright (went to water parks the last two years and had and saw some eye opening things!!! ) 4 is very young

MumblesParty · 12/07/2023 11:46

I'd let him if you're there to catch him. Your husband can stand next to the pool too if he wants the extra security.

mayorofcasterbridge · 12/07/2023 11:46

Anyway, is it really worth falling out with your DH over, and spoiling your holiday?

YeCannaeChangeTheLawsOfPhysics · 12/07/2023 11:47

ThisIsACoolUserName · 12/07/2023 11:40

Only on Mumsnet would people be worried about suffering a medical emergency at the exact split second that you needed to retrieve your child!! 😅

Be careful OP, because there might be a swarm of giant hornets that move in as you're waiting at the bottom of the slide and swamp the area, stinging you 100 times and leaving you totally incapacitated.

Or you could slip over on a particularly large seagull poo, hit your head and get knocked unconscious.

It's probably not worth the risk...

The drama llamas are out in force on this thread.

😂

Mirabai · 12/07/2023 11:47

It’s not really about being able to swim it’s more about water confidence and knowing when to hold your breath and for how long. And also being small for the size of the slide.

Panama2 · 12/07/2023 11:48

I may have misunderstood but you say the pool is very deep so how would you be standing at the bottom of the slide would you not be treading water? If so that doesn’t appear to be as safe in order to catch him

Swipe left for the next trending thread