First time posting on Mumsnet. I have absolutely reached my limit and need to rant for a bit. It’s going to be a long one so brace yourselves!
SIL is visiting (she lives abroad) and staying with us. This is the first time she has stayed with us. I had my first baby 3 months ago but he was very premature so technically he is currently like a newborn. We knew SIL had intentions of coming to the UK but didn’t know when as she didn’t confirm. Just kept saying “in June”. When I asked at the end of June, she said in three days time!!! She was staying elsewhere first then came to stay with us last week.
She is driving me crazyyy! I don’t know if it’s just my hormones making me feel like this or if it is indeed her behaviour. Things that have been bothering me:
- Short notice of arrival - DH coincidentally had some time off while she has been here which I was looking forward to spending together (DH, baby and I) as DH has not had a chunk of time off since baby came home from the hospital. Now this has been spent entertaining SIL.
- She is eating us out of house and home. She has the appetite of a teenage boy and literally eats everything in sight. I like to keep the snack cupboard stocked up so I have something available if anyone stops by or so that I can just grab something to eat while feeding baby etc and it has almost been depleted. I’m talking half a packet of biscuits, a doughnut and two chocolate bars in one sitting!!
- Helping herself to everything. I was always brought up that you behave a certain way in other people’s homes and I wouldn’t dream of opening up their cupboards and helping myself to their food! The only place I do this is my parents’ house, not even my brother’s. Today, I found she has eaten a whole packet of chocolate brazil nuts while I’ve been away for the weekend and they weren’t really kept in plain sight so she obviously was looking around. And I saw her eating (and finishing!) some snack fruit and nut packets my mum had left for when she comes to stay. I bought various soft drinks as we are expecting lots of visitors for baby later this week and she has drunk what’s in the fridge and put some more from the box in there to have later! I don’t care about the food or drink but I do find this behaviour very rude. She is behaving as though she is in her own house and not like she is a guest in someone else’s.
- I ordered the two of us a takeaway and she didn’t ask if she owed any money. I obviously wouldn’t have taken any money off her but she didn’t even ask how much her food was, it was almost like it was a given that I would pay for her.
- She keeps extending her stay. When DH told me she was coming, initially I was told it would be for a few days. Then she arrived and that few days turned into a week. And now we are looking at ten days. So I keep having to go food shopping to top up due to her aforementioned appetite. I personally think it’s very rude to stay somewhere without telling the host how long you intend to stay for. The length of stay isn’t the issue, it’s that it’s changed so many times and we just have to deal with it. Especially having a small baby at home, I would expect her to be more considerate to the fact we’re both tired and exhausted and in no position to host someone for this long.
- Had to spend my wedding anniversary at my parents. She wanted to visit my parents while she was here (very nice and good of her) but the only day that worked happened to be our wedding anniversary. We’ve only been married for two years so I still expect to celebrate so I was quite upset when DH said the visit would only work on this day. Probably not her fault but I still feel like she ruined it.
- Hasn’t offered to go shopping or take us out at all. If I was staying at someone’s house, I’d do a small food shop for essentials and/or take them out for dinner but she has done nothing at all or even offered despite not having to spend a single penny while being here. That being said she has been ordering Amazon parcels everyday and not even bothering to answer the door when they arrive.
I just feel like she has been very inconsiderate and rude as I wouldn’t dream of behaving this way if I were staying at someone’s house. I’m so stressed and I haven’t said anything to my husband yet, I’m waiting for her to leave first.
So is this actually unacceptable behaviour or AIBU??