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Original poster

Would you be offended? Clothes shop

108 replies

LlME · 11/07/2023 13:45

Today, I saw a sustainable design er clothes shop. It caught my attention so I went in for a look.

I was rifling through some dresses. Out of my budget, but was just curious.

One of the shop assistants then redirects me to some clothes 'more my size'. I didn't ask for advice or give any signal that I needed help, I was simply looking around different bits.

I'm not quite sure what to make of that come t. To me it's a bit condescending to think you know better than I do about my own clothes size. It's also not nice to hear when your actively trying to make changes to your body and somebody essentially points out that nope- you haven't made any progress.

Anyway, just wondering what others make of this? Would you be offended if someone showed you where 'your size' without you asking?

OP posts:
oysterfox · 11/07/2023 13:47

not at all.

she's just trying to help

i think its more of a you problem stop being offended and learn to say thank you

Ironfist · 11/07/2023 13:48

Yes I bloody would be! So rude 😐

wutheringkites · 11/07/2023 13:48

I don't think I've ever been in a clothes shop organised by size apart from TK Maxx.

Neverinamonthofsundays · 11/07/2023 13:49

I was in a shop many moons ago and many dress sizes ago rifling through the size 10 dresses. The cow behind the counter directed me to the size 12 rail but I declined her offer and only I was in a rush to get the dress I would have left however I loved this specific dress and left with it in a size 8. I gave her a deathstare on the way out though.

Housekeeperbatcocoa · 11/07/2023 13:49

It's rude. She has no idea why you're in the shop (shopping for a gift, looking for a particular item for someone else, looking for yourself) and was rude.

GoodChat · 11/07/2023 13:50

wutheringkites · 11/07/2023 13:48

I don't think I've ever been in a clothes shop organised by size apart from TK Maxx.

Lots of clothes shops have separate plus size and petite areas.

OP I don't think it's offensive but it might have been kinder for her to just ask if you needed any help.

Peacoffee · 11/07/2023 13:50

This exact scenario comes up a lot and I just don’t buy that it actually happened.

Berlinlover · 11/07/2023 13:50

Yes, I’d be offended and would have walked out of the shop.

Original poster
LlME · 11/07/2023 13:50

oysterfox · 11/07/2023 13:47

not at all.

she's just trying to help

i think its more of a you problem stop being offended and learn to say thank you

🙄

I'm offended because she pointed out my body. And I did say thank you, I still think it's rude.

OP posts:
Crikeyalmightey · 11/07/2023 13:51

Anyone else getting Pretty Woman vibes?

Ecdysiast · 11/07/2023 13:51

She's a witch with a capital B. She shouldn't be mentioning your size unless you've asked her about it!

Wrongsideofpennines · 11/07/2023 13:52

Yes its rude. You might be shopping for a gift, or scoping the shop out for someone else. Or buying something in a size smaller for motivation.

Limth · 11/07/2023 13:52

I personally wouldn't be offended but it was a rude and intrusive things to say.

You should've come back with "Actually its not for me, its for my husband Dave who's now decided to live as his authentic self, Trish Von TittyBags from now on. I'm just getting Trish some new clothes for her debut"

😂

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 11/07/2023 13:53

It’s rude.
She could easily have asked a more open question like ‘can you find everything in the size you want?’ or even just ‘can I help you with anything?’

Original poster
LlME · 11/07/2023 13:56

Agree with most people here, it's not just me being touchy then!

@Peacoffee what part of this is so unbelievable? People comment on others bodies all the time. I think because it's a small shop they probably wanted me to find the right outfit so I buy something... or they are just a bit bitchy.

The idea of them eyeing me up and deciding I'm looking at the wrong size just irks me

OP posts:
Blossomtoes · 11/07/2023 14:03

Incredibly rude. It happened to me once in a shop in Rome. Needless to say I left without buying anything.

jacckandsalllly · 11/07/2023 14:09

What a cow.

All she needed to say was "can I help you with anything?"

You could have been buying a gift or anything. And if not, you know your own size in any event.

Catspyjamas17 · 11/07/2023 14:21

I think it was rude, and deliberately so.

Hehasasecretfriend · 11/07/2023 14:23

Very rude. She should have just let you know she was happy to help with sizes.

To the poster not believing this does happen, let me assure you it does.

My friend, delighted to be recently down from a size eighteen to fourteen and buying new clothes was abruptly told by an assistant they didn't stock plus sizes. She burst into tears.

A gay male about twenty years old once handed a pair of jeans to me and said at the top of his voice that they weren't the ones I asked for but very few styles went up to my size (12). I burst into tears, hid in the dressing room and didn't attempt to buy jeans again for at least a decade.

A few years ago I was shopping and admired the dress on the mannequin. The assistant gushed I should try it on, it would be gorgeous on me. I took a step closer then heard her say "it's really forgiving." I did not burst into tears this time, simply thought what a bizarre thing to say then asked her what I needed to be forgiven for. I left the shop and have not returned.

Tigertigertigertiger · 11/07/2023 14:27

Is it because you are so tiny ?

Catspyjamas17 · 11/07/2023 14:30

Hehasasecretfriend · 11/07/2023 14:23

Very rude. She should have just let you know she was happy to help with sizes.

To the poster not believing this does happen, let me assure you it does.

My friend, delighted to be recently down from a size eighteen to fourteen and buying new clothes was abruptly told by an assistant they didn't stock plus sizes. She burst into tears.

A gay male about twenty years old once handed a pair of jeans to me and said at the top of his voice that they weren't the ones I asked for but very few styles went up to my size (12). I burst into tears, hid in the dressing room and didn't attempt to buy jeans again for at least a decade.

A few years ago I was shopping and admired the dress on the mannequin. The assistant gushed I should try it on, it would be gorgeous on me. I took a step closer then heard her say "it's really forgiving." I did not burst into tears this time, simply thought what a bizarre thing to say then asked her what I needed to be forgiven for. I left the shop and have not returned.

I remember trying to buy Levis 501s as a teenager, all of a size 12 in the late 1980s and they would not fit me at all, either I couldn't get my legs in but they would have fitted on the waist, or my legs fitted but they would be massive on the waist. Made me feel like I was weird/enormous.

MassiveWordSalad · 11/07/2023 14:32

Yes, she was very rude.

We all need to stop being so nice and start calling this shit out when it happens. It's a cliché here but "did you mean to be so rude?" would be a good start.

uncomfortablydumb53 · 11/07/2023 14:37

I think it's rude and presumptuous of her You may have been looking for a gift for someone else anyway

GoodChat · 11/07/2023 14:38

MassiveWordSalad · 11/07/2023 14:32

Yes, she was very rude.

We all need to stop being so nice and start calling this shit out when it happens. It's a cliché here but "did you mean to be so rude?" would be a good start.

Why is it rude, though? If you're looking at size 8s when you need an 18 you're just wasting everybody's time.

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 11/07/2023 14:39

A salesperson in Zara once told me "we don't do clothes for people as big as you". This was in reply to me asking her to explain their sizing system. 20 years abd 2 children later I have not returned, for any of us.