Would you be offended? Clothes shop

[LlME]

Today, I saw a sustainable design er clothes shop. It caught my attention so I went in for a look.

I was rifling through some dresses. Out of my budget, but was just curious.

One of the shop assistants then redirects me to some clothes 'more my size'. I didn't ask for advice or give any signal that I needed help, I was simply looking around different bits.

I'm not quite sure what to make of that come t. To me it's a bit condescending to think you know better than I do about my own clothes size. It's also not nice to hear when your actively trying to make changes to your body and somebody essentially points out that nope- you haven't made any progress.

Anyway, just wondering what others make of this? Would you be offended if someone showed you where 'your size' without you asking?

It was rude.

This also reminds me of the last time I was in France and held the door open for a woman with a pushchair. She automatically said: “Merci mademoiselle…” and then took a proper look at me and said: “Madame…? Pardon…?!” It’s a big thing to call women of a certain age Madame and not Mademoiselle and plenty of people get offended over their age being mistook - in the direction of not wanting to being considered a juvenile age. Personally you can call me Mademoiselle all day long - I’m 44 and I’ll just keep using moisturiser!

I’ll bet! 😂 In my head they were also really earnest when they said it!

That’s silly. The OP didn’t ask for help and she could have been looking for her daughter. Shop assistant was being presumptive, she should have just asked if she needed any help.

Love it 😂

I took my size 12 (back then) self shopping in a SE Asian country once.
I was greeted at the door with “nothing here for you, you too fat”

That’s an interesting take on it. Whose time is being wasted (who is everybody?). But I will keep that in mind next time I’m mooching around M&S or Wilkos and not waste everyone’s time.

A shop assistant once tried to direct me, unprompted, to clothes for women ‘with a bigger bust’ which I thought was awful. I should have asked her why she was staring at my tits!
I think it’s unbelievably rude to direct without asking questions about what you’re actually looking for.

I wouldn't be offended. If you were shopping for your DD or someone else, you just need to say "oh it's not for me, but someone else"

The shop assistant has no idea that you don't like your size and is trying to be helpful.

Yep, rude of her.

When I worked in clothes shops I got quite good at estimating a man's waist size and every time they asked for a smaller size not on the rail I would fetch the size they asked for without comment. Sometimes I would have the correct size discreetly hung on the fitting room rail as I knew they'd need the next size up (and it was always the clothes at fault, never their tummy).

I get irritated when shop staff ask if I need help. They're told to do this but it has the opposite effect than intended and I leave the shop. If I need help I'll ask (except B&Q where I always need help and there's never anyone to ask)

@willWillSmithsmith if you're not going to buy anything because you're looking at sizes you can't wear you're wasting your own time, the shop assistants time, and the time of any customer waiting for you to move away from the rails so they can look.

No, I wouldn't be at all offended. I might think she was rude, but not offensive.
Although, tbf, I generally don't have any hang ups about clothes sizes. People can clearly see what size I am. I am much, much larger than the size label is!

Out of interest, what did the assistant look like?

If she was a size 24, would her comment have bothered you in the same way?

I had a shop assistant look me up and down and say ‘hmm size ## for you?’ which was 3 - 4 dress sizes larger than I actually wear. I am the kind of shape that looks bigger than I am in certain clothes but not by that much, fairly sure she was just being horrible!

How are you wasting the shop assistants time? If someone else wants to see stuff and they don’t buy anything are they then wasting the time of another person? It’s ridiculous, you should be free to look at what you want in a shop without having t buy the ir

pressed too soon. You can still look through or at stuff without buying.

Depends on the shop tbh. I'm an 8 in tesco, but wouldn't be in topshop.

Thank you for explaining. I don't have a lot of experience, I could just see that my friend felt really self conscious when she had to ask for the sizes that weren't on the shop floor.

Who says you are looking for yourself?

But you can't really tell a persons size unless its an obvious extreme. I think good seamstresses and tailors/fitters...are very good.

I've been to bridesmaids fitting where they just have to look at the woman to know what size to start with, and to mens outfitters where they look the chap up and down and know the inside leg, waist and collar size.

That won't be your average shop floor assistant though.

But then why wouldn’t it be rude to say this to a “really petite” customer?

If it’s only fat people who should be offended at having their size pointed out…why is fat offensive?

@TheOrigRights no problem!

I put a range of sizes out as although I know the reasons behind it, I know many customers did feel upset by their size being in the stockroom. And lots don't like to ask if they don't see any of their size out but will feel more positive about doing so if they can see a few things out in their size (we always try to let customers know we have more sizes but can't always speak to everyone!)

Also, in my 20 years of experience, across many stores and locations, very few sales assistants judge customers. The job can be boring, apathy can set in, which can be misconstrued as judgement but unless a customer is rude/annoying/loud etc, most of us don't judge. We see way too many people all day everyday to single normal people out!

That last paragraph was just a general comment from a retail perspective, not aimed at anyone btw!

Tactless but think no more about it.

I would be offended at someone correctly judging my size. I would be irritated at someone giving unsolicited advice or instruction. Surely the opener is 'How may I help you?' or similar.
Just curious but how exactly did the conversation go? Did the shop assistant come over to you and just randomly direct you to the larger clothes? Had you said you were looking for yourself? Was there a big difference in size eg you were looking at 8-12s and you're a 24?