Would you be offended? Clothes shop

[LlME]

Today, I saw a sustainable design er clothes shop. It caught my attention so I went in for a look.

I was rifling through some dresses. Out of my budget, but was just curious.

One of the shop assistants then redirects me to some clothes 'more my size'. I didn't ask for advice or give any signal that I needed help, I was simply looking around different bits.

I'm not quite sure what to make of that come t. To me it's a bit condescending to think you know better than I do about my own clothes size. It's also not nice to hear when your actively trying to make changes to your body and somebody essentially points out that nope- you haven't made any progress.

Anyway, just wondering what others make of this? Would you be offended if someone showed you where 'your size' without you asking?

Who says the garment is for the person looking?

I think it depends on how it's done.

Looks you up and down, laughs, says sorry love, the fat sizes are here, that won't even touch you! - touches you to draw you away

Hey, how's it going? Oh they're pretty aren't they. Actually I think we have some styles on this rail that will really suit you - directs you but let's you choose.

Also if it's a rail of 10-16s and you're a size 20-24 its probably less rude than if it's a rail of 10-16s and you're a 16-18

It's so rude. I've had this happen when buying something for my daughter, who's much slimmer than me.

Like I'm so stupid I though I would need a size 10 instead of a 16!

But "let me know if you need any help with sizes" would be so much nicer, and the sales person should not assume the person is buying for themselves.

@LlME Id take that as rude. You could have been shopping for a gift for someone else etc.

Similar happened to me. Browsing an independent clothes shop rather than a chain store. Shop assistant declared ‘I don’t think we cater for your size’ I was 14 verging on 16 but nearer to 14. The shop assistant wasn’t discrete about it either. I’ve since lost around lost 3 stones but I won’t be venturing into that shop ever again.

Why is it rude, though? If you're looking at size 8s when you need an 18 you're just wasting everybody's time.

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Whose time is the Op wasting? Just her own if she actually was looking at the wrong sizes, doesn't affect anyone else.
The shop worker doesn't know anyone's size just looking at them, or in fact who they are shopping for.

What was the comment?? I seem to have missed that and cant see it - sorry

Yup. New Look has a plus size area, a teen area, a maternity area, etc

Yes, I'd be offended to be directed to things that she deemed to be 'more my size' - first of all, she has no idea whether you're looking for yourself or for someone else, secondly you have a better idea of what size you are than she does, and thirdly, the polite way for her to offer help would have been something neutral like 'Let me know if you need any help with the sizing' or 'If there's something you like the look of but can't see your size on the rack, just let me know'.

I used to work in a department store as a teenager and we were taught how to help and advise without making assumptions or pointing out people's body types. For example, sometimes I'd know that ranges came up on the smaller side and that the size 10 the customer had taken to try was probably going to be too small, so I'd say something like 'We've got this in an 8 and a 12 as well so just give me a shout if you'd like to try any other sizes'.

@GoodChat because the assistant has no idea why anyone is looking at a particular rail of clothes. There could be many reasons. If they think someone needs help, they can just say "would you like any help".

Personally I'm far more likely to buy something if I'm left to look around properly, but that's for a different thread.

She wasnt wasting anyones time but her own. Op didnt ask for help, it was offered

@Catspyjamas17 that's why I said 'and you need'. If she needed the size she was looking at she could just say 'its ok I'm shopping for a gift'.

I just dont see how its rude

It's rude. You could have been shopping for someone else.

I agree it would be better to just offer help. I suggested that in my first response, too. I just don't see that the assistant was rude. She misjudged, perhaps, but I don't think she was rude.

surely she wouldn’t still be working there.

Until we need a permit to browse certain rails or shelves, Shop Assistants need to back off with this sort of ‘help’.

Most of us have been shopping since we were 12. We know how to do it. If we want to ask about other styles or colours, we know who to ask. Nothing drives me out of a shop quicker than non helpful help.

‘Hello, let me know if you need anything’ is enough.

OP: it was rude and patronising.

Why is it rude, though? If you're looking at size 8s when you need an 18 you're just wasting everybody's time.

She's wasting nobody's time by browsing through a rack of clothes to see what sort of style they were or to check out what the prices were like.

And how does the shop assistant know that she's even shopping for herself, rather than for a gift for someone smaller? When I'm looking at clothes in the men's section for DP, I wouldn't expect the shop assistant to say 'The women's clothes are over there' as if I was some kind of idiot who couldn't recognise what I wanted.

@GoodChat yes true, she may have misjudged. In that case a "did you mean to be so rude" would have helped her future judgement

I would be offended because you didn't ask for her input in this case.

Sometimes they don't do it on purpose though. I once asked in a department store where the jeans were, and the salesgirl eyed me seriously for five seconds before saying "I'd say you should go upstairs". I was intrigued so I looked upstairs and downstairs and she had sent me to the Lady Jeans rather than the Young Person Jeans. I put her on the spot tbf!

There is just no need to observe someone's size - wherever they are on the size spectrum.

My preferred sales help is "these dress are lovely aren't they? If you need any help, just let me know".

🤣🤣🤣

I would be very offended - as if you don't know your own dress size! - and, anyway, you could be shopping for a present for your sister, cousin, best friend.......

I can often be found rifling through racks of clothes that a) don't suit me and b) wouldn't fit me, because I am looking to see if there is anything my DD might like. If an assistant tried to direct me to another part of the shop I would be livid.

Gosh, that's just nasty! We don't cater to your size isn't even pretending to be helpful

surely she wouldn’t still be working there.
😂