To roll my eyes at pregnancy excuse

[Fuzzyduck31]

It must be my age but recently I’ve had more friends and acquaintances being pregnant and I am surprised (bemused?) by the ideas some people have.
I get that morning sickness/ nausea is bad but I have a friend who is acting completely incapacitated by it? It’s not HG just the normal nausea sicky feeling in first trimester.
I have another friend who can not organise a baby shower for her sister because she is also pregnant?!
Another friend has just had a baby and has called her mum to look after the baby while she sleeps all day?
AIBU as I went through this twice not looking for the type of complete support that these other women feel entitled to?
I am happy for them all and feel like a bad person thinking this but just wondered if anyone else has noticed a trend towards this complete incapacitation as a pregnant/ new mum?

She wasn’t struggling she was milking it. She was capable of going on a weekend away without her baby the following week..something I would have never done.

So you didn’t move house by yourself at all then

So what? Pregnancy is tough for so many women - why can’t their husbands do it?

And you didn’t illustrate anything except you’ve changed tact now people are calling out your husband‘s lack of support

But LOL at overcoming pregnancy problems by ‘putting your mind to it’. Spoken by someone who clearly breezed through pregnancy.

Anyway I’m wondering why your loaded husband didn’t book a removal company. Why did this extremely wealthy man leave his pregnant wife to dismantle beds on her own?

Exact same with me. Sailed through all my pregnancies but one. I was completely incapacitated - genuinely couldn't move for about six weeks and was unbelievably ill. DP had to make a bed for me in the living room so I could watch the kids. You really have no idea how anyone else is feeling/coping in pregnancy.

When I’m throwing up 40 times a day and fainting once a week I’ll be sure to remind myself I just need to “put my mind to it” and then I’ll be able to waddle along to do the school run, while freshly stitched and pissing blood and move a house by myself because my DH’s big important man job is more important than his wife.

You take things out of context, you don’t even know the distance I had to travel to get to said school.
I think I know what my body is capable of doing, I was able to stand up walk and felt 100% fine if not better then when I was pregnant. A quick 5 minute journey in the car to collect my child wasn’t going to put me in hospital.
i mentioned my husband didn’t expect me to pay a single bill, because whilst you were all berating him for working that day without engaging your brains.

It wasn’t like that for me. If it was then of course he wouldn’t have been at work that day.

Yes ... a whole week after she stopped needing help. Needing help doesn't require you to be unable to do anything for a set amount of time after. If it did you'd still be needing help!

You can be in bed for 5 days with flu, doesn't mean I'd tell someone they were clearly 'milking it' if they were back to work a week after feeling better. Just because you disagree with her parenting choices doesn't mean she wasn't struggling.

Do you want a medal?

Milking what? Relaxing after giving birth? What should she have been doing - loading the dishwasher?

Not only do you know what your body is capable of, you know what everyone else's bodies are capable of too. Amazing.

The backtracking in your posts is quite funny since you realised you made your husband sound like a money grabbing twat who doesn't give a shit about your wellbeing.

I was able to stand up walk and felt 100% fine if not better then when I was pregnant. A quick 5 minute journey in the car to collect my child wasn’t going to put me in hospital.

If this was the case @Mumtothreegirlies, why mention it as some kind of achievement?

Because it was a bed and a few boxes from a 1 bed house..

i mentioned my husband didn’t expect me to pay a single bill, because whilst you were all berating him for working that day without engaging your brains.

And the trade off seems to be he also doesn’t expect to lift a finger or inconvenience himself in anyway I’m exchange. A real catch.

Because a lot of women milk the situation. This was my whole point.

@Mumtothreegirlies

You lived in a one bed house when your partner was making £5k per morning?

He must be very tight.

With both my pregnancies I felt far shitter in the first trimesters than the third ones. And barely anyone knew I was pregnant and those that did would often scoff at me being precious. In my third trimester I felt so energetic and alive, where people would be telling me to sit down and offering me seats etc. I remember thinking ‘could have done with this 20 weeks ago’ 🤣 I’m not so foolish to think my experience mirrors everyone else’s

Maybe it’s more that it’s becoming more acceptable for women to ask for the help they need, rather than being made to feel that they have to struggle on unaided, no matter how bad this is for them.

It’s getting more and more watered down as the posts go in. First you moved a whole house by yourself, then you took down a few beds, now it’s actually only 1 bed because it’s a 1 bed flat.

Because a lot of women milk the situation. This was my whole point.

@Mumtothreegirlies

Does it honestly not occur to you that not everyone experiences things in the exact same way? You might find something easy but someone else might be in pain and struggling. You don't think that happens?

@Peacoffee

She actually moved a doll's house between rooms. 😂😂😂

You missed the part where he stayed in hospital for weeks taking care of our baby who was dying. You also missed the part where he put a roof over our heads at only 18 years old thanks to his hard work. Yes my husband is a catch thanks.

The issue is that it seems your dynamic is “I pay bills you do everything else is every circumstance’.

If it’s only a 5 minute journey why couldn’t your husband do it?! Does he make £1000 a minute? Does he never go to the loo? How can a 5 minute gap in work be so utterly drastic to a project that he HAS to work in that 5 minute window or else it all goes to shit?

im voting hitman

Not everyone needs to be a big martyr OP. What is wrong with asking for help when you want some? You should try it. It is better than resenting other people for getting some support.

Yea that’s why I said ‘some pregnancies are debilitating’ Those aren’t the ones I’m talking about.