To roll my eyes at pregnancy excuse

[Fuzzyduck31]

It must be my age but recently I’ve had more friends and acquaintances being pregnant and I am surprised (bemused?) by the ideas some people have.
I get that morning sickness/ nausea is bad but I have a friend who is acting completely incapacitated by it? It’s not HG just the normal nausea sicky feeling in first trimester.
I have another friend who can not organise a baby shower for her sister because she is also pregnant?!
Another friend has just had a baby and has called her mum to look after the baby while she sleeps all day?
AIBU as I went through this twice not looking for the type of complete support that these other women feel entitled to?
I am happy for them all and feel like a bad person thinking this but just wondered if anyone else has noticed a trend towards this complete incapacitation as a pregnant/ new mum?

I mean those are really bottom of the barrel expectations. Spending time with his extremely strong child in hospital deserves a round of applause? seriously?

Because he doesn’t just work up the road in a little office or a shop somewhere that will enable him to pop out for the school run.

So why didn’t your husband pay someone rather than leaving it to his wife who had “crushing pelvic pain”?

Either you are a massive fibber or your DH is nowhere near the catch you think he is.

he doesn’t just work up the road in a little office or a shop somewhere

This is so patronising, you really are a piece of work.

It goes against the nasty things you’ve said about him, making out he doesn’t care when you have no idea how deeply he cares about his family.

Good grief, @Mumtothreegirlies - you do realise that needing help, asking for help or accepting help doesn’t make a woman ‘precious’ or a ‘crybaby’!

If one of your ‘girlies’ asks you for help, are you going to call them nasty names and refuse to help them because they should just get on with it like you did? And how would you react if someone else called one of them a precious crybaby for asking for help - would you nod and agree or would you defend your daughter?

I thought it was ‘a few beds’, plural? But when your husband earns £5k on a morning, and you obviously live cheaply in a 1 bed why would he put you through that when a removal company would cost him the equivalent of 20 minutes work?

And your a piece of work for assuming everybody has a job that enables them to pop up the road to collect their kids and if they don’t they’re scum.

Milk what? Relaxing? What is wrong with them relaxing?

@Mumtothreegirlies

I didn't call anyone scum.

That was our first child and our first home. Just because it’s a 1 bed doesn’t mean it’s cheap fyi.

😂😂

@MargaretThursday
However in all three pregnancies, nausea was the first symptom- and continued until about 2 hours after the baby was born. I couldn't eat many things, I couldn't even go in the kitchen/into a foodshop without vomiting. I was vomiting 4+ times a day all the way through.
I lost so much weight that I was weighed just after dd2 was born and I was 2 stone lighter (and I hadn't been overweight before) than I'd been just before i got pregnant.

Isn't it the funniest thing? Similar trajectory although I did have HG in two out of three, struggled to gain weight all three times, but within a couple hours of the babies being out (vaginal deliveries, natural, no medication), I was absolutely starving, no nausea! The initial hormonal drop must be extremely precipitous.

@Mumtothreegirlies Because he doesn’t just work up the road in a little office or a shop somewhere that will enable him to pop out for the school run

If he’s self employed then he absolutely could structure his day to enable him to do the school run. It’s pretty much the least he could do if he wouldn’t take paternity leave.

@Mumtothreegirlies

Your situation is so unusual that anyone who knows you will be able to recognise your set up from these posts so you may as well tell us what job your husband does!

@thecatsthecats

Agree, and I do something similar workwise. That's why I was having a bit of an eye roll at the NHS line.

It’s not unusual. My mother and sister were the same, as are millions of women around the world. How it remotely unusual to carry on like normal after birth? Women give birth at home and carry on the same day. It’s definitely not a unique situation.

Maybe the fairies lifted the boxes and the bed/s into the moving van?

If he earns £10k a day he should stay with your dying baby, he doesn’t get cookies for not being shit.

He was earning a fortune at 18?

Either he’s dodgier than dodge or this is BS. Or you’ve swallowed the Kool Aid thinking this charlatan is a catch

It’s not unusual. My mother and sister were the same, as are millions of women around the world. How it remotely unusual to carry on like normal after birth? Women give birth at home and carry on the same day. It’s definitely not a unique situation.

I didn't mean your experience of pregnancy or birth, I meant your £5k an hour earning husband who is never around.

I think it's more the magic house that keeps changing dimensions, and the husband who earns many squillions of pounds yet has his family in a tiny house and isn't allowed paternity leave the day after his wife gives birth.

Constant nausea when suffering from emetophobia is really tough. You don’t know what people have going on behind the scenes.

Even pregnancies that aren’t debilitating deserve to be relaxing and restful pregnancies

He’s self employed but works miles and miles away from home?

He really couldn’t have made a small divergence and if he did that time couldn’t have been got back later, and therefore it resulted in a £5k loss? I smell bullshit and TBH I’d be giving you the benefit of the doubt if you werent so scornful about other women

Not really. I don’t think spending time with your sick child in hospital is an incredibly basic parental expectation.

However I will never be convinced that a man who refuses to take any time off as paternity leave is a caring family man.