To roll my eyes at pregnancy excuse

[Fuzzyduck31]

It must be my age but recently I’ve had more friends and acquaintances being pregnant and I am surprised (bemused?) by the ideas some people have.
I get that morning sickness/ nausea is bad but I have a friend who is acting completely incapacitated by it? It’s not HG just the normal nausea sicky feeling in first trimester.
I have another friend who can not organise a baby shower for her sister because she is also pregnant?!
Another friend has just had a baby and has called her mum to look after the baby while she sleeps all day?
AIBU as I went through this twice not looking for the type of complete support that these other women feel entitled to?
I am happy for them all and feel like a bad person thinking this but just wondered if anyone else has noticed a trend towards this complete incapacitation as a pregnant/ new mum?

Knock it off.

Just because other women are asking/accepting help or saying they don't want to do stuff because they are pregnant and you didn't means jack shit.

You struggled through, but no one's going to give you a medal.

Hell no. I am the idiot covering for 3 people. I don't intend to do it for much longer, that's for sure.

If your workplace hasn't organised extra cover when three people are off, there's definitely at least one idiot there. Direct your ire at them rather than people doing perfectly normal human things like go on holiday or get pregnant.

I am reminded of the poster upthread whose prince of a husband left her to do the school run and care for kids the day after a forceps delivery, yet the person she criticised was her SIL. One has to wonder why women are to blame for being pregnant whenever someone, anyone, else creates unnecessary shit.

I agree @DrSbaitso.

Unfortunately the reason that 3 people are away (1 being my manager) is because they have kids, it's school holidays. Apparently if you have kids it's ok to go away for 2 weeks, leaving your employees to struggle. Yes, I will be leaving that job.

I had a very easy pregnancy I don’t think others are lazy or exaggerating, I think I was lucky. Nausea can range from nothing to hospitalisation HG and you’ve no way to know what someone else is experiencing.

Again, you're targeting the wrong people. What you mean is, if you're a shit manager you think it's OK to approve and take leave irresponsibly without arranging cover.

Don't blame parents for shit management.

Or do you mean the manager has two kids and so is leaving for two weeks without cover? The problem still isn't that they have kids, it's that they're a shit manager.

Why yes - children need their parents to spend quality time with them. You didn't realise that?

@Scalottia Apparently if you have kids it's ok to go away for 2 weeks, leaving your employees to struggle.

Everyone has leave from work though, her taking two weeks off has nothing to do with the fact she has children as far as the business is concerned. It’s okay to ‘go away’ for 2 weeks whether someone has kids or not.
It seems like you quite clearly just have a vendetta against anyone who chooses to have kids.

No, taking time off in holidays is not allowed here unless you have kids. Great equality there. You aren't special just because you have children. You just think you are. Just like some pregnant women think that the world should revolve around them.

Yes and one of those people who takes it personally when others rightly use their annual leave rather than being a martyr to the organisation and taking no time off at all

taking time off in holidays is not allowed here unless you have kids.

It beats me why anyone without kids would want to. Prices through the roof and having to tolerate other people’s little darlings - no thank you.

So what exactly attracted you to mumsnet if you hate mothers?

Also you’re getting angry with the wrong people. It’s your employer you should be cross at not the mothers who work there. They’re not going to say “I have to take school holiday time off because otherwise I’ll never see my kid, but I’m not actually going to because that angry woman over there who hates mothers thinks it’s unfair, so I’ll stay in work and lose my holdiays”.

The only time I kid pre-kids was for a destination wedding in August. I remember how shocked I was at how much more I had to pay than if I had gone away 3 weeks later

Sounds like you think the world should revolve around you.

Imagine getting this wound up by parents taking time off to be with their children during the school holidays. Get a life.

That poster has also seemingly stalked the pregnancy choices board berating women for having dilemmas over unplanned pregnancies. We should just ignore it, it’s not worth fighting with misogynists.

Why would you want to go on holiday during the school holidays? I'd never do it if I could go at a different time.

They don’t. They just don’t want people with kids spending time with their kids in the holiday.

Ugh.

Why's she on a site called Mumsnet? Obviously people without children are welcome, but if you hate mothers, why would you come here?

To berate them for having an unplanned pregnancy, or for the fact that there are workplaces out there where childless people can’t take school holidays off (because obviously that’s the fault of All Women). Interesting how people get their kicks isn’t it

What? The school holidays - schools- closing for holidays means it is the parents fault for having no childcare? Not your manager, who knows that the school holidays are the same every year, who didn't arrange for cover over the holiday period? People struggling always blame others who are struggling, instead of pointing to where it actually could be fixed.

That is the fault of your organisation, NOT parents or pregnant people. Be mad at the people who made the rule not the ones who made children.

I used to be left every August in charge of an entire department because managers couldn't organise themselves properly and all ended up off at once. If and I one of my peers wanted to be off at the same time they'd decline the request. Nothing at all to do with parents and everything to do with shit management. Now in a different job and it's so much better.

And yes, I have a child. Yes I will want to spend time with my child when they're school age and off in the school holidays. No, I won't be allowed to leave my team in the shit. Nor would I want to. Because I manage well and am managed well. NOT because I was once pregnant or because I'm a parent.

Get a grip!

Ugh. Where did I say I hate mothers? I happen to like them, I have one myself!

To that other poster who I can't be bothered quoting, do you know the definition of mysogynist? Nah, didn't think so.

You like mothers, you just hate women who have issues in pregnancy and who take annual leave to go on family holidays.

Got it.

So when should I go on holidays with my school-aged stepchild - should I pull them out of school instead? Engage your brain.