To roll my eyes at pregnancy excuse

[Fuzzyduck31]

It must be my age but recently I’ve had more friends and acquaintances being pregnant and I am surprised (bemused?) by the ideas some people have.
I get that morning sickness/ nausea is bad but I have a friend who is acting completely incapacitated by it? It’s not HG just the normal nausea sicky feeling in first trimester.
I have another friend who can not organise a baby shower for her sister because she is also pregnant?!
Another friend has just had a baby and has called her mum to look after the baby while she sleeps all day?
AIBU as I went through this twice not looking for the type of complete support that these other women feel entitled to?
I am happy for them all and feel like a bad person thinking this but just wondered if anyone else has noticed a trend towards this complete incapacitation as a pregnant/ new mum?

You say he cares about his family yet the reason you think this is because he earns money - big whoop. He still let his wife with crushing pelvic pain and a horrendously traumatic birth suffer because Money Comes First. Doesn’t sound caring to me.

It never ceases to amaze me just how low some women’s bars are

And the exaggerations keep coming.

Hes scum because he allowed his wife to do the school run less than a day after a forceps birth

Did the fairies put the boxes in the moving van then?

I had my children 35 years ago. My mum stayed for several weeks each time. I never cooked a meal or lifted an iron. It was wonderful. I just concentrated on the baby. What does it matter to you how others organise their lives? You coped with 24 hour sickness apparently so well done - pat on the back. But don’t judge others who can’t do that.

This. ^ What a horrible thread @Fuzzyduck31 Shame on you.

YABU regarding the sickness how do you know it’s not undiagnosed HG? I had it but it wasn’t diagnosed until later on as everytime I went to the GP they just said it’s normal morning sickness. It was extremely bad.

For someone whose husband earns £10k a day I think @Mumtothreegirlies hisband obviously is incredibly right seeing as she posted on another thread about the financial sacrifices they’ve made:
No professional haircuts or beauty treatments, cheap clothes, caravan holidays only, no new furniture or renovations of any sort.

So the guy is self employed but works a long way from home. He earns megabucks and, again, is self employed, but couldn't arrange to do the school run the day after his wife gave birth.

Someone somewhere is knowingly bullshitting. Might not be the poster.

At any rate, so what? The poster had a shit time because her wonderful husband was absent at a time of need. Her SIL isn't required to recreate her misery by foregoing her support network, especially if she's not getting £5k compensation for it.

£10K a DAY?! What does he do?

He’s a hitman 🤣

Mind you on the same thread the same poster claimed that if he had to do dinner then his business wouldn’t have ended up ‘turning over triple what it does than if he’d come home to make dinner’. What is this bloke doing between the hours of 8-9 and 4-5 or thereabouts that means nearly all of his profit happens on those exact timeframes?

It sounds like the nonsense lazy hedge fund managers tell their drippy Stepford wives TBH.

Really........?

If he earns so much, I'm surprised they couldn't just throw money at the problem. I'm sure there are plenty of nannies who would happily do the school run for a decent price.

😂

My DH is in the wrong career, on his shithouse £35K per year salary! Twat. 😆

Sounds like he’s spinning the OP a lot of very obvious bullshit and she’s taken it all in.

“Honey I couldn’t possibly earn even 1/3 as much as I do if you don’t have dinner on the table when I get in” 😂 sounds legit.

I’m still waiting on an answer as to what exactly new mums should b doing rather than relaxing wherever they can.

After DS was born I basically stayed in bed watching TV and breastfeeding for a week. Their self employed dad did the nursery run, because I’d just gone through an excruciatingly painful time and deserved to lie in bed for as long as I damn well pleased. A stark contrast to when I had DD and felt I had to spring back to normal after no time, and whenever I did (after having a huge blood loss) I’d end up feeling physically horrendous. I learnt my lesson about self care the hard way.

I honestly think a lot of this angst stems from jealousy that they weren’t more insistent on catching a break.

Not sure why asking for help is a bad thing?

Or a friend! I’ve done it for school mums who’ve given birth or been struck down with flu

Because women should be sacrificial martyrs always running themselves ragged and struggling. Otherwise if we have too much down time we will take over the world, and someone will have to tell the village elders

I assumed she basically had no support network because, well, she apparently had to do the school run the day after a forceps delivery. But if DH is so successful, no reason you couldn't pay a professional if nobody wants to help you out as a favour.

@Mumtothreegirlies you've had your arse handed to you here, and quite rightly so!

Yes to add @cushioncovers , my pnd and ptsd came from how I was treated by nhs staff during the birth and on the recovery ward. But so glad class and race is being brought in to undermine women’s mental health, by an nhs employee too! Your colleagues also acted like I was an overly precious middle class white lady who was going to have a deserved lesson in reality, not a human who’s epidural had failed (pitocin contractions every 2 minutes for 10 hours) and baby was dying while they patted my hand and told me I was just being sensitive to the “pressure” I was feeling. I hope you’re more supportive in your role than you come across here, else please resign and go hang out on internalised misogyny island with the OP.

There have always been dying swans among us! One of my friends at school had a mum who “had migraines” - we couldn’t play round at her house in case we caused one, her dad did a lot of the cooking, taking to clubs etc (she was a SAHM, as most mums were then) as any exertion set her off for days. She spent weekends and school holidays sunbathing with a book to avoid provoking one.

The rest of our mothers used to gossip and say she was laying it on with a trowel.

Yep.

Can you imagine when her 'girlies' grow up.

"Mum I'm pregnant and struggling" - "Struggle, you don't know the meaning of the word, I had to <insert story to make dd feel shit here> and I never complained, so get on with it".

She will be mother of estranged girlie's in 20 years time.

Hang on, just going to find you a special martyr award for having a shit pregnancy and birth and still managing to function like a normal human (I call bullshit by the way).
I’m 9 weeks pregnant, can barely stay awake in the afternoons, had to make adjustments at work as I drive as part of my role and it’s not safe. In your opinion I should be able to just carry on? I’m glad my work and colleagues aren’t as unsupportive and unreasonable as you.