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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I hate the cat

259 replies

WarriorWalrus · 10/07/2023 01:13

DD1, 17, got a cat for her 15th birthday, she had been begging for years and loves the cat to pieces, it was a joint bid for the cat, DD1 promising all the care until she left for uni, DD2, (now 14) promising to take over and DH saying he would do care when they aren't around.
Well DD1 just finished her a-levels, left to go travelling with her friends, not back until mid-August (she turns 18 at the start of August). DD2 hates the cat (the cat also hates her, I'm not sure why they have beef but its a no go, the cat just scratches DD2), DH feeds him and changes the litterbox but the cat seems to have decided in the absence of DD1, he wants me, we might have the only clingy cat in the world, but he waits for me to get home, follows me for a bit the goes to lay in DD1s room. Can't say DD1s name in earshot or the cat comes running and follows me again. Middle of the night he scratches my door to be let in, then sleeps in-between DH and I, he loves it, I hate it!!
7 days into DD1 being gone, I've heard from her 4 times, each time "How's Socrates (the cat), Can I see Socrates, show Socrates this video so he doesn't forget me", I send a response (pic of the cat usually) she reacts to it, I ask how she is and get left on read?? Like she only misses and cares for the cat!!!
And to think she is off to uni halls in sept, so this is just my life now!!
AIBU to hate the cat, do any cat whisperers have tips on how I can get the cat to give his love to DH or DD2 and leave me alone???

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
Aquamarine1029 · 10/07/2023 01:19

You need to relax. It's kind of disturbing and weird that you have so much hate for an animal that does you no harm.

10HailMarys · 10/07/2023 01:22

It’s fucking weird that you resent your daughter asking how her cat is.

Rockofages3 · 10/07/2023 01:22

Get the cat a girlfriend?
More cats in the house will solve all of your problems. Definitely.

Rockofages3 · 10/07/2023 01:24

There will be some other posters along who are not so literal!

itsmylife7 · 10/07/2023 01:24

You're the chosen one OP 😺
Cats choose their people and its you !

Can we have a picture of the cat ?

Deathbyfluffy · 10/07/2023 01:26

It’s rather weird to hate an animal for loving you.
I’d probably focus more on why that’s an issue for you rather than trying to push the cat away.

FictionalCharacter · 10/07/2023 01:29

Poor cat 😔

ilovesooty · 10/07/2023 01:31

Can we see Socrates?

mayorofcasterbridge · 10/07/2023 01:32

There’s something psychologically wrong with someone who hates cats… or even just hates…

RobertsRadio · 10/07/2023 01:34

Well it is well known that cats make a beeline for the one person in the room that does not like cats, they seem to have a sixth sense for this.

I'm not really a cat lover, but the poor cat must be missing your daughter and feeling confused about her absence and he has obviously decided that you are his new 'person'. Try to show him a bit of sympathy and TLC.

Is there a reason why DCat and DD2 don't like each other, does DD2 fuss him too much, is she too rough, did she hurt him when he was younger?

Sorry, not having much experience with felines I don't have any tips on how to get DD2 and cat to bond

Thebigblueballoon · 10/07/2023 01:38

That cat loves you because you hate it. Whoops.

MouseSculptureMadeOfOldHairbrushFluff · 10/07/2023 01:39

really cannot be arsed with cats

especially scratchy bastards like your cat

YANBU

ColdHandsHotHead · 10/07/2023 01:44

He’s missing your daughter and wants some cuddles. Poor baby.

WarriorWalrus · 10/07/2023 01:44

ilovesooty · 10/07/2023 01:31

Can we see Socrates?

Sure, This is him. Bain of my existence right now.
In all seriousness though, I don't hate him. Just wish he had selected someone else to be the centre of his world while DD is gone.
Also don't resent DD for asking about her cat, was making a joke out of how she is missing the cat but no one else!

I hate the cat
OP posts:
SoSadForCav · 10/07/2023 01:46

@WarriorWalrus so how is Socrates??

Get some high value treats & let DD2 give them to him & only DD2, really spoil him, I'd let her give them to him on her bed. Encourage him to sleep with her & seek her out. If he scratches, no treat. He'll fast learn.

let DD2 be the only one to feed him.

we DO need you to pay up your Cat Tax! We'll take it in photos!! 🐱

Charlize43 · 10/07/2023 01:46

This isn't about the cat, is it? It's about other areas in your life that need addressing.

How can anyone hate an animal that is depending on you for care?

Newnamehiwhodis · 10/07/2023 01:46

YABU. God. Some people do not deserve to be animal caretakers

TheSilveryPussycat · 10/07/2023 01:49

Perhaps there is something about you that reminds Socrates of DD1? Take it as a compliment...

SoSadForCav · 10/07/2023 01:49

X posted.

he is a very handsome boy!!😍 & he loves you.

He'll settle, he's just missing DD1.

ilovesooty · 10/07/2023 01:50

He's beautiful, 💙💙

MicrowaveRice · 10/07/2023 01:51

Rockofages3 · 10/07/2023 01:22

Get the cat a girlfriend?
More cats in the house will solve all of your problems. Definitely.

I see what you're doing here ... I have a friend like you (and somehow seem to have 3 cats now).

neilyoungismyhero · 10/07/2023 01:58

He's a beauty...my goodness.
I have a noisy needy clingy little fucker..rescued him from a vets floor 15 years ago. Since then he's been attached to me big time. He's noisy 90 percent of the day. He's like a little black panther. I don't much care for cats I'm a dog girl through and through. He's a pita but has a piece of my heart..a very tiny piece.

WarmBeerAndSandwiches · 10/07/2023 01:59

Resistance is futile. You will love the cat soon enough.

Drhollyfrazier · 10/07/2023 02:00

You were being very unreasonable to get DD1 a cat knowing she’d move away to uni.

Stillcantbebothered · 10/07/2023 02:02

10HailMarys · 10/07/2023 01:22

It’s fucking weird that you resent your daughter asking how her cat is.

Typical mumsnet where you read a b and c and you conclude x y and z.

She resents that her daughter only seems to care for the cat and doesn’t not even take the time to respond when she tries to talk about anything else or care about OP once she gets her cat pic. It’s not that hard to figure out.