I hate the cat

[WarriorWalrus]

DD1, 17, got a cat for her 15th birthday, she had been begging for years and loves the cat to pieces, it was a joint bid for the cat, DD1 promising all the care until she left for uni, DD2, (now 14) promising to take over and DH saying he would do care when they aren't around.
Well DD1 just finished her a-levels, left to go travelling with her friends, not back until mid-August (she turns 18 at the start of August). DD2 hates the cat (the cat also hates her, I'm not sure why they have beef but its a no go, the cat just scratches DD2), DH feeds him and changes the litterbox but the cat seems to have decided in the absence of DD1, he wants me, we might have the only clingy cat in the world, but he waits for me to get home, follows me for a bit the goes to lay in DD1s room. Can't say DD1s name in earshot or the cat comes running and follows me again. Middle of the night he scratches my door to be let in, then sleeps in-between DH and I, he loves it, I hate it!!
7 days into DD1 being gone, I've heard from her 4 times, each time "How's Socrates (the cat), Can I see Socrates, show Socrates this video so he doesn't forget me", I send a response (pic of the cat usually) she reacts to it, I ask how she is and get left on read?? Like she only misses and cares for the cat!!!
And to think she is off to uni halls in sept, so this is just my life now!!
AIBU to hate the cat, do any cat whisperers have tips on how I can get the cat to give his love to DH or DD2 and leave me alone???

Not everyone love cats.
Just like not everyone love dogs.

So ignore the strange judgmental comments.

Just give in and love him back. Seriously, you won’t win against a cat. The best part is that you will have the most wonderful companion and friend. Btw, he’s gorgeous!

We got our family cat when I was 13 and she died aged nearly 20. Most conversations with my mum after I left home would being with “how’s the cat” but she was unanimously the most beloved family member by all.

Agree with the other posts that resistance is futile. You’ll also find that once you give him (a boy right?) cuddles and attention he’ll go right off you. Best bet is to indulge him, give him the cuddles and he’ll soon saunter off.

Cats are lovely company and are little creatures with their own emotional needs. I realise I am a biased cat person but do try and give this little chap the love and attention he seems to desperately crave. We don’t have them for very long and we are their whole world when they’re with us.

He is gorgeous 😍.

Have you had him neutered? I also read about changing litter - bleugh.

I couldn't live with a house cat, struggling to live with my 'inherited' cat who whittles (wittles? Not the wood thing anyway).
BUT I adore my 4 year old who we got at just 3 weeks old. She was such a tiny pretty little girl.
Turned out she is a boy, and he's bloody massive 🤣 people saying maincoon size.

But I have to let them out. Neither go far. I do have a mouse in the house at mo that one of them has brought in. Dealt with rats too.

YANBU purely because the former won't even let me have a poo in peace. My kids are grown up - I don't need this!! 🤣

Are you being intentionally obtuse? 🙄

OMG he is gorgeous!!!
I'm so, so envious. Look after him and you won't regret it.
Cats.........

https://youtube.com/shorts/YXq3H8UO_z8?feature=share

He’s gorgeous! Just give in to being the chosen one. They always choose the person who is indifferent or dislikes them, such a cat thing but they do, hence he has chosen you. Embrace it!

Get another cat. My original cat used to be completely obsessed with me, and now barely notices I exist since I got her a brother. They spend all day together playing and cuddling.

Poor Socrates, he sounds like a lovely cat that just wants love and attention while his person is gone. You're being so unreasonable.

Well 'his person' is going to uni so the OP is stuck with him.
The advice for DD2 to feed him treats etc seems the way to go.
The only saving grace is that DH deals with the poo tray.

Is he a ragdoll? If so, he's bred to be clingy and unfortunately, you are The Chosen One. I sympathise a lot, I have a clingy cat and when I'm tired and exhausted and the cat is following me everywhere, to the loo, to the kitchen, on top of my computer when I'm trying to work, plus 'chatting' (meowing endlessly very loudly) it can seem too much. When I was having MH difficulties, the cat seemed like another burden, something else that needed more than I could give. I think those with independent cats, who go outside (is it an indoor cat?) who disappear off for hours might not know what this type of cat is like!

My suggestion is counter-intuitive- give the cat more attention, pick it up, give it a cuddle when it is demanding attention Get a couple of cat toys (wand thing, springs) and get some of their energy out that way as well. It's better to pay the cat attention when you want, and satisfy that, than to try to avoid it. Then the cat feels reassured and will probably sleep.

Cats can be overly clingy depending on their breed, and it would be tiring to be the one to be left with that when you aren't the one that wanted the cat. This is the reason I don't have a dog!

I think you actually really like the cat.

You are both missing DD. Just give in and love the cat back - you will both feel a lot better for it.

Or send him to me, he is gorgeous 😍

I would also say if you have a cat that will paw you, wake you up or otherwise be a bother at night, don't feel bad about shutting them downstairs and putting your earplugs in. If you have a good night's sleep you will feel much better disposed towards the cat, if you are getting broken sleep you won't.

Agreed, he's a gorgeous cat!

I have a love/hate relationship with our cat, so I understand how you feel.

My DD is responsible for ours and when she moves out, the cat goes with her.

Awww, Socrates wants some loving!! I’m a big cat fan and we are obsessed by our cat who DD misses more than us when at uni 😆 eve DS said the cat was his favourite family member. Prob cos she’s not annoying and doesn’t nag him!!
Seriously though, he looks like a lovely animal, cats are pretty easy to care for really so I’d embrace the love and you might get some joy out of it.

You are the chosen one.

He’s gorgeous!!!!

I love cats so much!

My mum has 5 cats and when I phone her one of my first questions is, “How are the cats?” 😂

Dont fight against the love OP. It will be completely futile!

He loves you. Best surrender.

Do not get another cat, mine hate each other!

Ds1 has just got back from his first year at uni. The cat is no longer interested in him. He likes the other dc but has decided that the only place to sleep at night is on a pillow close enough that he can pur in mu ear and have a paw on my head

I think the advice to get your dd2 to feed him etc is very good - everyone is fussing about the cat but it's not nice for your actual child to be scratched all the time and to feel like the cat hates her.

Ours used to do this to dd - I think she thought that dd was a kitten and lower down than her on the pecking order and I think she tried to play with her, the way she would another cat, so biting and chasing. Our fix was to get another cat, but I don't think you want that, so try getting dd to take over more of the treats, feeding, playing.

I do think you should also show the cat love because it's probably upset that dd1 isn't there and needs reassurance.

Having the cat also gives your dd an 'excuse' to call you lots, so it may not be all bad.

The literal posters going “omg pooooor baaaaaby you’re sooooo cruuuuuueeeel” are pissing me off. Seriously, the reading level on this forum is about 8yo.

YANBU. I’d be annoyed too to constantly be expected to constantly do emotional labour while every other human in the house pisses about.

I don’t know if the suggestion for DD2 to hand out treats is likely to work but it’s the only sensible one so far so go for it.

Also DH and DD2 need to up their game. The cat being lonely (WTF) cannot be your problem only. Seriously, are even cats sexist now…

Is he a ragdoll? If so, he's bred to be clingy

I was gonna ask this too! I have two ragdolls and they're both very clingy. Every second they're awake they want attention, and fortunately I love giving them attention, but obviously it can get a bit impractical when I've things to do.

I also agree with the advice of giving him more attention. Sounds like he could be feeling a bit ignored which will only make him more needy. Ultimately you do just have to accept being the chosen one.

He's gorgeous btw!