It’s me or the dog

[flowergod13]

Hi I’m looking for some advice or if anyone has gone through anything similar just hear me as I don’t know what to do.

We have a lovely 18m dog who I feel desperately sorry for as she does not get the time and attention she really deserves.

We are family with 2 young children and both work. My partner often works away ranging from 1 night to over a week.
Over the last 6 months both our jobs have been become more demanding and the need to travel has increased, which is only going to continue. I am finding that I am unable to go to meetings due to not being able to leave the dog as my partner is away, which can not continue.

As my partner is away a lot of the time I am often left to deal with everything, kids, house and the dog alone. I am finding that I can not cope anymore and at the top of my stress limit.
As a result of these circumstances she is missing her walks unless it’s a day the dog walker can take her and gets no other attention as once I have sorted the kids I am normally back to finishing work or it is too late and the kids are in bed so I can’t then take her for a walk.

She is full of energy and obviously needs to be exercised and I think because of the lack of this she has chewed bits of kitchen and the rug when I have left her for small period of time to pick the kids up from school.

At weekends when we don’t work we are still pretty busy with kids clubs etc and have even paid for the dog walker to take her then which obviously costs us money, and really I think we should be taking her at weekends but we just don’t have time.

When partner is at home, I am still the one who does all the house chores and clean up after her (he won’t pick up poo) like it seems labs do she sheds a lot so I have vacuum every day again he doesn’t do this.

Even though I would be devastated I have suggested rehoming her and I believe it is the best for her as she is wasted with us and can see she is unhappy. My partner disagrees and said he will walk her more but I just can’t see how this is possible given he his away a-lot of the time.
My fear is I agree with him and it will change for a short period of time before going back to how it is.

I feel so cruel to give her away and like I’m the bad guy but I just don’t think I can continue like this for another 10+years and she is being neglected.

My children love her but they don’t do anything with her. I’m sure they will be upset if she goes but I don’t think it will have a major impact on them.

Thanks for reading.

Absolutely. I can’t go into a supermarket with a dog for obvious reasons. I can’t go on holiday abroad with one. Dogs shed hairs all over the home, and the ones I lived with were consistently incontinent into adulthood, strewn with neuroses, constant licking furniture, chewing stuff, incessant barking etc.

I am fully aware some children will need care well into adulthood but the vast majority become independent and contribute to the care we ourselves need when older. A dog does none of that - it is purely there to eat. If you are someone who needs that level of neediness in your home, so be it, but there are huge numbers of us who are fully cognisant of how much work and strain dogs bring, that don’t actually think on balance, that it’s worth it.

Yes I train my kids up to be responsible, independent people, it takes massive input, and it’s truly worth it. Could I say the same about a dog? Nah.

This is solvable but you need to put the walk first - she needs an hour long walk a day walk to school and back. Partner needs to not be away - doesn’t sound like he is an equal partner and he takes her for an hour before work etc

once she has a daily walk you will see a massive improvement - labs are retrievers so throw a ball in the garden for 15 minutes - get the kids involved

try first but he needs to sign up to a daily walk before he starts work and he needs to clear up the shit