Hospital visitors 24/7 for non-native speakers

[mfhtoeh]

My first AIBU but I’m curious as I think this could go both ways.

I’m in hospital on a ladies bay.
Visiting hours are 11am-7pm (minus restricted meal times).
There’s an elderly-ish lady that doesn’t speak English. She currently has 3 of her children with her (8.30pm) and her daughter and son have asked to remain on the ward with her 24/7. They asked for 2 blow up mattresses but were told no, but it was ok to stay in these circumstances.

I understand the language barrier is challenging. It also helps the nurses them being here to care for her.

However they talk alllll day and night. They don’t stop talking. The son uses the ladies only toilet etc. They also have the radio on at times.

Grumpy me just wants some peace and quiet. I want to sleep.

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YABU - the lady needs her family

YANBU - you should be able to have privacy & peace and quiet outside of visiting hours and men using the ladies patient only toilets is unacceptable.
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NB: She’s sick but not dying.

Oh dear op. Yes the nurse could do something about it and should. Ward manager or whoever is in charge this am , if they can't sort then ask for the matron or site manager. Tell them you don't feel safe sleeping in a room with constant visitors at night and thay they need to move them or provide you with a chaperone/ support of your own. Anything else.is discrimination. Also tweet the trust tweets , belive me that will work if PALS aren't about

I was a senior nurse on an acute admissions ward in central London. We never let relatives stay overnight unless the patient was dying, even people with no English language. Sleep and rest are an important part of recovery and visitors disturb not only the person they're visiting but also everyone else, as you are experiencing.

We also always used official interpreters. We were told it's bad practice to rely on family members as important medical info can get lost in translation and there can be conflicts of interest.
A male visitor using the female patient toilet is totally unacceptable.

I would demand to speak to the ward manager/modern matron or to your consultant. Complain loudly and put it in writing so they have to respond officially. You could also demend to be moved to another bay or ward.
Sorry you've had to put up with his.

However, I would also say that hospital visiting rights are a bit archaic and don’t take into account the psychological factors in physical health - social connection being an important factor in healing and health.

Not really because the rules have to take into consideration everybody. Having her family around might be beneficial to the patient whole family are noisy and inconsiderate, but it's clearly detrimental for OP and other patients.

Your poll doesn’t make sense? I don’t think it’s unreasonable for a non native English speaker to have family with them 24/7. Only one though and not using the ladies only loo. Two entirely different things.

Echoing what others have said, this is unacceptable.

Disturbance through the night, how do they expect you to rest and recover?

Contact PALS. Have you any visitors who can advocate for you? Keep a diary of the disturbances and rule breaking. It might be worth recording the level of disturbances - you could then play it to your visitors, just let the other family hearing your complaints, especially to hospital staff, might get them to tone it down.

I’d be shouting shut the fuck up. I assume they would get the gist of my message even if they don’t speak English.

Again , contact PALS. The staff should be using an approved interpreting service, not members of family. It's possible for serious errors to occur by doing that, secondly your health will take longer to improve if you can't rest and lastly you are entitled to dignity and privacy which isn't currently happening.

Relying on family to interpret is bad practice. Imagine relying on a husband to interpret questions about a wife's sexual history or a child to tell thrir parent their cancer is terminal. The hospital should be providing an interpreter.

They probably know somebody working there. I've witnessed that happen before myself

Also, don't use random hospital staff to interpret either. Look up the story if Willy Ramirez: an interpreting mistake by a random untrained hospital staff member left him paraplegic and cost the hospital $73 million in damages.

Those who shout the loudest are the first to be heard. Start making as much fuss as possible, they'll soon get something sorted. At the very least if they are so adamant on the family being allowed to be in, they should be moving her to a side room so as not to disturb anyone else's recovery.

Out of interest, what would the gentle folk of mumsnet want if they became ill abroad in a country where they didn’t speak the local language? It’s a very much less likely scenario given that most of the world seems to have been expected to learn our language of course, but I bet quite a few of the ‘kick the rellies out’ brigade would want an relative to translate for them if it were them in hospital instead.

The hospital will be aware of the rules re translating services but you don’t need a professional translator for normal conversational stuff.

I did become ill abroad - in Italy if that matters. I spoke very little Italian - enough to ask for train and museum tickets. My friend was travelling with me and spoke a bit more. She was allowed to visit during visiting hours only and the same with my mum when she arrived.

There were some words I picked up very quickly - I rapidly learned the Italian for pain, blood, vomit, bucket and morphine but apart from short bursts of visiting time when my friend would visit and do translation I was on my own for the 10 days I was there.

There is a lot of scope for cultural misunderstandings in hospital and healthcare settings. It's always best to use a trained interpreter:

https://www.healthaffairs.org/content/forefront/language-culture-and-medical-tragedy-case-willie-ramirez

Don't sit there and stew, ask to speak to the site manager now.
They will be duty matrons on site who will be able to sort this out

Clearly a lot of people here have the privilege of not needing to rely on the NHS to keep them alive, and/or luxury of living in areas where they aren't constantly struggling to access medical treatment because the system's overloaded, in part because people with no entitlement to it abuse it. If you speak NO English at all it's very unlikely that you have ever made a significant contribution to the economy. Those who think there's no such thing as NHS tourism are woefully naive. The least these people can do is be grateful and considerate when getting excellent healthcare free of charge.

Drop the phone in the nearest water jug if it rings again tonight.

Definitely keep on complaining to the staff- in fact I would be badgering them to do something about this!You are unwell and need rest!
It is not racist to ask people to be quiet and abide by the rules.

I had a similar situation when I was an antenatal patient- early labouring (didn't know that at the time) at 34 weeks; in complete agony and alone/scared.
The man who was accompanying his none English speaking wife watched videos on his phone all night, laughing so loudly at whatever he found so funny. I eventually shouted at 3am "will you just shut the fuck up "
You'll get to a point where you will crack and it isn't fair.

, the son is on his way. I said that’s loud too & he uses the toilet.Nurse shrugged & said ‘there’s a language barrier isn’t there, there’s nothing we can do’.

if the son is there to facilitate communication he can bloody well understand “use the public bathroom”.

When my mum was in hospital at the beginning of the year, they generally allowed one of us to stay with her outside of visiting hours as she has Alzheimer's, is very difficult to understand and nearly non verbal and cannot feed herself. She was very confused by the whole experience so it was very difficult. They didn't have the staff to keep an eye on her and feed her so they were happy with this arrangement. However we were quiet, respectful and made mum less of an issue (she made a lot of noise without us, was agitated and lashed out if people she didn't know 'helped' her) we didn't stay all night generally until she fell asleep and then back in the morning.

The lot of them sound like inconsiderate bellends op. Of course you're not unreasonable to ask for a stop to be put to this. Not to mention that there's a bloke on the ladies only ward and using your toilet. I'm shocked the nurses haven't already made him leave. Language barrier or not this is such an invasion of your personal space and your right to peace and quiet, you're unwell too!!

My DH has stayed on a female ward with our severely disabled DD (when she was alive) when I wasn't able to stay with her. She required 24/7 care/supervision which the hospital couldn't/wouldn't provide. Where possible they put DD in a side room but this was not always possible. No way would he have had his phone on noise or been chatting out of hours though. The family in your ward are just inconsiderate and need to be told to be quiet.

I have an adult DC with learning difficulties. I have stayed on wards with her. Some I have been allowed to use patient toilet as no visitor toilets. Some I have been told to find a toilet outside the ward. Rather daunting wondering around empty corridors looking for a toilet in the middle of the the night. As a menopausal women I need to pee at night. Then have to ring the bell to get back on the ward. Having spent over 3 weeks there I would have loved Dad to have been able to stay but didn't think it was appropriate. I am needed to explain things to DC in simple language and manage anxieties. Sleeping on a chair is exhausting.
I learnt a lot being fit and well on a ward.
Hope you get some rest. I would say to the Sister or Ward Manager that you need rest and the noise is too much and that you feel uncomfortable with a man there when you are trying to sleep. The whole family don't have to be there at the same time.

OP honestly I'd shout over the curtain. I did this, similar situation. Just said 'can you keep it down please there are other patients here trying to sleep'

Feel for you, it's shit and they're being arseholes. Hopefully she will be discharged soon. The other patients will be getting the hump too no doubt.

This ridiculous and very unfair on you. As you are unwell,can someone complain on your behalf. I would be looking for someone higher up to speak to in person if you were my adult daughter, wife etc. Please let us know how you get on. I am feeling very cross on your behalf!

Greybeard. Yes I'd want a relative ..but not one who made my stay better at the cost of making other people miserable. And not more than one!!