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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

When would you pay?

120 replies

Butterflyfluff · 08/07/2023 19:14

I’ve booked tickets for a concert for 8 people.

They are on my credit card so I said no rush to pay as it’s not due until the end of the month (in hindsight I shouldn’t have said this)

6 people paid straight away (as I would have done)

The last hasn’t and I know they won’t until the end of the month.

When would you pay (no one is short of money) - it’s more the hassle of having to check everyone has paid.

YANBU - just pay straight away so the person who booked doesn’t have to keep checking when everyone has paid

YABU - pay at the last minute

OP posts:
whosaidtha · 08/07/2023 19:16

I would pay but you did say it was no rush so you can't be mad at them.

BakedTattie · 08/07/2023 19:17

You said no rush, so they aren’t rushing

TidyDancer · 08/07/2023 19:17

I would pay straight away unless the prior arrangement had been to pay on a certain date. I wouldn't leave it open like that, but you can't really chase for it due to what you said. I'd probably send a reminder maybe 2-3 days before if you haven't had it already.

NeverThatSerious · 08/07/2023 19:18

I’d probably square up pretty sharp ish as I hate owing people money but you literally said that there was no rush and gave them til the end of the month, so I don’t think you’re being at all reasonable to be anything but fine with them taking that at face value.

Original poster
Butterflyfluff · 08/07/2023 19:18

whosaidtha · 08/07/2023 19:16

I would pay but you did say it was no rush so you can't be mad at them.

I’m not mad - it’s just more an interesting observation on life about who pushes to the limit and who doesn’t

Just interested to know what the consensus is

OP posts:
drpet49 · 08/07/2023 19:20

BakedTattie · 08/07/2023 19:17

You said no rush, so they aren’t rushing

This. Why say it when you don’t mean it?

HauntedPencil · 08/07/2023 19:21

If you say no rush end of the month then the end of the month isn't pushing it. You could just say as it's on my card I'd appreciate you getting it over asap.

If someone said to me no rush until the end of the month I might well pay at the end of the month.

Original poster
Butterflyfluff · 08/07/2023 19:21

drpet49 · 08/07/2023 19:20

This. Why say it when you don’t mean it?

Show quote history

I’m not chasing the money - I’m just asking what most people would do.

I’d pay straight away - clearly some people wouldn’t.

I’m just interested to know what the split is.

OP posts:
Changingplace · 08/07/2023 19:22

If you wanted them to pay straight away, ask for it straight away, they’re doing exactly as you suggested and aren’t rushing.

Changingplace · 08/07/2023 19:22

Butterflyfluff · 08/07/2023 19:21

I’m not chasing the money - I’m just asking what most people would do.

I’d pay straight away - clearly some people wouldn’t.

I’m just interested to know what the split is.

Show quote history

Most people would take a steer from the person they owe the money to, which is exactly what they’ve done.

BarbaraofSeville · 08/07/2023 19:22

I would pay straight away as I wouldn't want to forget and I wouldn't make assumptions about other people's finances.

If someone has done me a favour by making a booking I wouldn't want to inconvenience them by making them think I wasn't going to send the money.

EmeraldFox · 08/07/2023 19:23

If you said no rush then they may wait until payday.

JMSA · 08/07/2023 19:23

Immediately.

Fairyliz · 08/07/2023 19:24

BakedTattie · 08/07/2023 19:17

You said no rush, so they aren’t rushing

But if you are British surely this means I want paying in the next 24 hours? 😂

Original poster
Butterflyfluff · 08/07/2023 19:26

BarbaraofSeville · 08/07/2023 19:22

I would pay straight away as I wouldn't want to forget and I wouldn't make assumptions about other people's finances.

If someone has done me a favour by making a booking I wouldn't want to inconvenience them by making them think I wasn't going to send the money.

This is my thinking.

And it’s interesting 6 out of the other 7 thought the same.

That’s why I wondered, on a wider scale, how many others think like the 7 of us versus how many think like the other one.

OP posts:
EmeraldFox · 08/07/2023 19:26

I'd pay because it's likely I would have known about it soon after last month's payday and would rather have it paid. Some people may have already spent their pay except for food/petrol money.

Original poster
Butterflyfluff · 08/07/2023 19:28

Just to add, everyone has confirmed they’ve paid on a group chat so the last person knows they are the only one outstanding.

OP posts:
40friedfish · 08/07/2023 19:28

Well, when I book for other people I only do it on an interest free credit card so it doesn't matter, within reason, when they pay me. However, if you have a due date when they need to settle so you don't incur charges, you need to make that plain & spell it out in CAPITAL LETTERS so the are clear when they need to to be pay you.

Lucyccfc68 · 08/07/2023 19:29

I did this recently and just told everyone the bill needed to be paid by the 4th of the following month. 2 paid straight away, 2 paid on their pay day and the last one (who is minted) had to be chased.

I always pay immediately, but I appreciate some people have to wait until pay day.

noglow · 08/07/2023 19:31

I pay within 1-3 days usually. You've said no rush so they'll probably wait until pay day now.

Phos · 08/07/2023 19:32

Straight away usually because I forget otherwise.

TeenDivided · 08/07/2023 19:33

My DD who does not pick up on social cues / hints would take what you said to mean pay at the end of the month.

Chocolatelabradorsarethebest · 08/07/2023 19:37

Well you’ve said the end of the month so that’s probably the deadline the last person has in their mind. They might be waiting for payday and then pay you straight away. At the moment it’s sitting on your credit card and not costing you anything. If you’d paid from your current account that’s a different matter.

I’ve got this exact situation. I’ve just paid for a holiday with friends, it’s on my credit card, I’ve told them to pay me by the 5th of next month as I’ll need to pay it off. One friend has already paid, the other hasn’t. All fine as I know they’ll pay me and they’re just working in the parameters of what I’ve said, it hasn’t even crossed my mind to question it.

SlightlygrumpyBettyswaitress · 08/07/2023 19:41

Me and my friends have a mix. Normally one will put it on a card and state a date to pay by, usually a week before its due. I always pay straight away through fear of forgetting!

lpedst · 08/07/2023 19:43

I don't get why you offered something (that no one asked for) and now you're annoyed they've taken you up on the offer.