How much is reasonable for an abroad hen?

[Mabmabdwarf]

As the title says… How much is reasonable to pay for an abroad hen do?

What amount would you expect to pay for to go abroad on a hen do? Not including spending money?

This isn’t asking if people agree with hen dos abroad but just how much would you expect one to cost you.

In Europe over a weekend.

Also, are you expecting people to pay extra to cover your place as 'the bride'?

A place that serves English breakfast and that you are there to drink alcohol
From straw willies?

There’s no one answer to this.

My best friend ever going on her hen with a really close group of girls to a city I’m interested in visiting, with enough notice I’d happily drop a grand plus spends.

Lisa from work who I’m not that close to and don’t know many of her mates off to somewhere very clubby like Ibiza I wouldn’t want to spend more than 300 plus spends.

Abroad hens can be a bit of a nightmare I find because you can’t please all people all of the time. I prefer multi part hens where they do an activity a night out and then a spa the next day so you can pick and choose as much or as little as you’d like to do depending on funds and personal preference.

I doubt you’d be able to do a girls trip abroad for less than £300. I’d expect it to be £600 plus. So then you need to decide whether it’s worth it based on your individual circumstances.

This is pretty standard in my circle so wouldn’t be special treatment.

The reason I asked was because when asking friends that will be attending they said £250 was what they would like to spend but realistically flights alone are working out £190 including bags.

14 people have now agreed to come with the flights being £190. The couple who have said they wanted it to be £250 for both flights & acc are complaining how unreasonable it is that they can’t come due to costs.

No one’s been forced to come and no one’s moaned when some people have said no.

I’m 50 and these weren’t a thing when I got married so I really wouldn’t know. But I wouldn’t go because it means we’d get no family holiday or DH and I wouldn’t get an anniversary weekend away or the kids wouldn’t get a school trip. My own family comes first before any Instagram shit.

So what is more important to you: the people or the destination?

If you aren’t too fussed if this couple can’t come due to cost as long as you go then stick to your plans.

If you want them to go, believe them when they say £250 is the maximum, and lower your expectations. They know their finances better than random people on the internet.

Yeah expensive!

You do realise that some people go away and don’t put it all over insta …

Also going in the hen wouldn’t mean my family go without a family holiday.

£250 for an overseas weekend away is unrealistic unfortunately, unless you pick the cheap option at every turn which, while it doesn't necessarily stop it being a fun and celebratory weekend, everything would need to be very carefully chosen to stick to the budget.

So you'd have to go somewhere where the flights are cheap, well under £100 pp return. Accommodation carefully chosen so the price per bed is under £50 pppn, and even then it only leaves £100 for 2 days of meals and drinks, which probably isn't enough unless you're light drinkers and mostly self cater. Plus you've run out of budget before you get to airport transfers, activities etc.

Sadly the two who're unable to afford more than £250 need to find more money from somewhere or not go.

I'm going to an abroad hen in may 2024. It's cost £350 for hotel and flights so far.

But that doesn't include spends,

Equally my hen is in the uk and that's costing 320. (Apartment, activities and mini bus there and back!)

So not much difference really!

£50 for flights? What rock have you been living under … no chance.

Around £500 for flights and accommodation.

No more than 100.

If they can't come they can't come. Not anyone else's fault.

This is the reason I've made sure mine was in the uk and booked through a company, most people are paying £20 a month as it hasn't got to be paid in full until July 2024 (hen is aug!)

The abroad hen i mentioned before. Thankfully it was £50 deposit for hotel the biggest up front costs were the flights (204 including bags!) I booked half the hens (6 people! And got it cheaper than the other lady who was booking the other half at exactly the same time!)

The more you look at flights the more the cost rises if that makes sense!

Booking the flights this evening but all the flights will be booked at one go so everyone gets the same price!

I would normally not have a problem covering hens part of the weekend but if it's one that involves leaving the country I'm not interested in funding her chosen trip.

I would be looking to spend €500 max for the weekend and it would have to be a really good friend and I'd also only go if I was invited to the wedding.

I think the idea of the hens covering the brides costs is unrealistic now, particularly if the bride is the one choosing to go aboard.

but there’s a group of people who are really struggling with the end of the super cheap flights - when you could get a flight for £25 each way to many parts of Europe and then get a cheaper hotel than you could in the UK, stag/hen dos aboard were a good idea. But many are struggling with the idea that flights are back up to more in keeping with “pre easyJet era” prices.

Everyone invited to the hen are invited to the wedding as day guests.

Actually thinking about it @Mabmabdwarf - since your last load of overseas hen dos, have most of your friendship groups life styles changed?

if when you all went aboard before you were all childfree, with decent incomes coming in, and relatively cheap rent (in house shares or small flats etc) compared to now expensive mortgages and childcare or less money given cost of living crisis taking all spare cash….

I too think that covering the cost of the bride for an abroad Hen do is unrealistic nowadays. Fine to cover her meal if just a nice dinner but not the actual holiday.

Prices and interest will all depend on where someone is in their life/ what age they are etc.

In my 20's I'd had stumped up quite a bit as I love any reason for a trip, had minimal obligations, and didn't require a day (or more 😂) to recover.

Now, I'm married with an SEN child, and I have to be more cautious with planning trips away because I need to consider their needs as well as my own. Also, it would now depend on what the activities are. If you were planning a weekend in Tuscany (or whatever) in a lovely hotel doing cooking classes or something during the day and drinks on the veranda in the evenings, god yes please. I'd make that work if I had time to plan, and wouldn't be too bothered about costs.

If it's a bar crawl in a beach town with inflatable penises and L tags and having to share a bedroom with someone I barely know, probably not, even if it were on the cheaper end. I'd only do that if it were an extremely close friend, and even then I'd genuinely have to look into booking my own room.

I realise you're going to tell me "well that's my idea of hell, you wouldn't be invited anyway" but that's my point. You're asking a varied group of people their opinion so you're going to get many different responses..

I'd expect around £1000 for a three day trip in Europe including flights. Staying at a standard hotel, nothing shit but not luxury.

£1000 ish