How much is reasonable for an abroad hen?

[Mabmabdwarf]

As the title says… How much is reasonable to pay for an abroad hen do?

What amount would you expect to pay for to go abroad on a hen do? Not including spending money?

This isn’t asking if people agree with hen dos abroad but just how much would you expect one to cost you.

In Europe over a weekend.

I think once people's rent/mortgages get renewed they'll have less money for this stuff

1,000 - 1,5000 I'd expect to pay. Wouldn't want to pay more than that. Why don't you make a WhatsApp group, and ask everyone what they're prepared to pay. They might say 2 000 or 1 000, then that gives you an idea.

Thats a good idea I think. Set up an anonymous poll somehow and ask. They'll appreciate you asking first.

I don't see how you can have been on five hen dos abroad and not realise you have more disposable income than the average Joe. So you're in the best position to know if the other guests are like you or wealthier or poorer? How can strangers help you?

My mortgage is going up from £1200 to £1950 soon. I've never been in a position to use savings for a hen do abroad and have always prioritised being able to have family holidays (in this country mostly since 2010, due to environmental factors). But context is key here. An anonymous poll is the best idea.

Two weeks ago I went on a hen do where there was no drinking involved really. We stayed in both evenings to make the most of the beautiful place that had been booked. Everyone had a lovely time possibly apart from you OP?!

I think flights and accommodation would be £600ish.

Threads like this make me realise how different my world is from MN world. I am lucky enough to live in a nice area where average incomes are well above the national average but I don’t know anyone who does things like this for weddings. Here a day, and possibly an overnight stay, at a local spa is the norm.

Why not? If all the hens are childfree professionals with decent disposable incomes it's within their budget if that 's what they want to do.

But if they're low paid parents with mortgages that have just gone up, childcare bills etc and they're struggling to get to the end of the month, it's a different picture.

Which is why people can't possibly say what is reasonable OP. Even a 'bog standard European mini break' can vary hugely in cost.

If they're going somewhere spendy like Ibiza or Marbella and it's going to be beach clubs or expensive activities like scuba diving in the day time and nightclubs frequented by A listers at night, then it's obviously going to be significantly more expensive than a cheap and cheerful AI where they're going to mainly stay in the hotel and use the pool and AI food and drink.

What is reasonable needs to fit in with what people want to do, and the budgets of the people attending.

Threads like this make me realise how different my world is from MN world. I am lucky enough to live in a nice area where average incomes are well above the national average but I don’t know anyone who does things like this for weddings

But a lot of people like that are already married and spend a lot of their above average income on buying and doing up their home. If you 'live in a nice area with an income well above the national average' then you are 'MN world', there's lots of people like that on here. Hence the enthusiasm for overpaying mortgages and hatred for overseas hen dos. It's just different stages of life and different priorities.

I've been on two abroad hen do's but not for ages and I can't remember what I spent.

I'd say roughly a £1,000 these days though.

Yes, that would be around what I've paid. 3 nights (2/3 to a room) B&B only, flights, transfers, couple of tours/entrance fees/activities etc plus snacks and drinks.
Dublin, Amsterdam, Krakow

£0, I wouldn't go. Unreasonable to expect friends, who presumably all have different finances and responsibilities to shell out for things like that.

OP you seem strangely annoyed that people need more context. What is 'normal' for you and your circle isn't the same as what's 'normal' for someone elses circle. There is no standard 'normal' across the country, across income brackets, across age ranges, across cultures. Everyone's 'normal' is just theirs.

It doesn’t quite answer the question, but I would not be happy paying more than £300 for a ‘traditional’ hens weekend, unless we were a very close friendship group and it was going to be more like a girls holiday.

I'd expect to pay £500 for 3 or 4 nights away, will spends on top. So probs £1k overall.

As long as you are crystal clear from the start you should be ok and ensure you don't do that annoying thing where if 1 drops out the cost goes up for everyone else.

I've organised these before and start 12 to 9 months in advance with an invite that stats final costs (including a spends budget). The ask for a large deposit to indicate intent, with 1 or 2 more payments, so everything is paid for at least 3 months before. I never spend my own money booking, and get any non refundable costs sent to me first before I book.

Saves a lot of heartache further down the line and any drop outs have paid their costs.

Thanks. Looks like the average is about £500

As MN like to say It’s a invitation, not a summons.

People can say no.

When I was at the age of diary full of weddings every other weekend all my friends hen doos seemed to be very low key in comparison to what they were now; meal out in nearest big city followed by comedy club or cocktail making. I wonder how many of these people willing to spend £800, £1400 etc for a hen doo are also trying to get on the property ladder. I'd go along for the meal and then leave before the activity, or vice versa, as I just couldn't justify to myself paying out larger amounts. I was horrendously stingey compared to most comments on this thread!

Can your friends and family comfortably afford that?

Personally I think it's in poor taste these days (and I love a good time) unless the bunch you invite genuinely all have lots of disposable income and aren't just pretending they have

£300 but of course that's too much for some people and no one should be given a hard time to attend.

It’s a lot to ask someone to fork out especially if they have a partner/children and have a family holiday budget, plus using up annual leave. Plus they will probably have to pay a tidy sum for the wedding too.

If you want a fun city break go with your partner

What do you mean by "bog standard Europe"?

Europe is vast.

Also why are you being so evasive?

I wouldn’t go but if I did I would pay no more that £50 on flights and no more than £150 on accommodation plus spend so £250 max

but I have better things to spend my money on

£250-£300 anymore and I wouldn’t bother going. Hate gaggles of annoying women so would begrudge paying anymore then that.

Why aren’t you asking your friends how much their budgets are rather than people on mumsnet what they think is reasonable?

Depends on your budget. Going away for a weekend or drinking and not doing any sight seeing sounds awful.