to ask what's rudest/most bizarre wedding behaviour you've known of?

[PinkStarAtNight]

Lighthearted thread, inspired by the mention of wedding politics on another thread...just interested to know if anyone out there has experienced/known of any weddings/wedding related behaviour more bizarre/rude than the one I know of. Wedding guest behaviour, bride/groom behaviour and weddings that were just bizarre in general all welcome...

So, I'll start:
Couple getting married were on a very low budget (so much so that their centrepiece wedding cake was actually just cardboard with icing and decorations over it) but they still wanted a 'nice/fancy' wedding with sit down meal and servers...so they hired a town hall for an 'afternoon tea' luncheon type thing just after the wedding, with only close friends and family invited. They then asked other, less close, friends to 'have the privilege' of serving them at this 'high tea' event, free of charge, as a favour, instead of an invite to the wedding (not even the evening party that came later).
It was actually phrased as 'would you like to have the privilege of serving us at our wedding?' and people who were asked were very much expected to see it as an honour. Apparently it's somewhat of the 'done thing' in their circle.

These friends/servers were given waiter/waitress uniforms to wear. Just another reminder- they were NOT being paid. One of the people asked to do it was a friend of mine. She actually thought she was quite close to the family, had known them years and been round for dinner and things like that, but realised they obviously didn't see her that way when instead of a proper invite to the wedding she was asked to do this.

She said that she accidentally split tea whilst pouring it out for someone at this 'luncheon' (I mean its not like she was a professional server!) and the bride's father snapped at her. Everyone at the table treated her exactly like a professional server, not making wye contact, not even thanking her, barking orders at her etc, even though she had known all of them for years and spent time at their house for gatherings...all the servers were 'thanked' a few weeks after the wedding with a box of basic Cadbury chocolates, the type that cost about £5 from Tesco. These boxes of chocolates were elaborately wrapped up and sent with thank you cards. Once opening the box, my friend realised they were all white...looked at the sell by date and they were years out!! 😂

Now, it wasn't really anything to me because I wasn't close to couple (knew them, had mutual friends but never expected to be invited in any capacity) so didn't affect me at all, but I think the whole thing was completely bizarre and such rude and entitled behaviour towards people who were supposed to be their friends. Apparently being asked to dress up in a waitor outfit and take orders/serve people is an immense honour. I didn't, and still don't, have words 😂

Anyone else got anything to top this?

Yes agreed - what bizarre behaviour by the B&G and their families. At the very least I'd have left once I was snapped at by people who saw me as staff rather than friend. Hope your friend has cut them out of her life @PinkStarAtNight 🌹

My wedding I was pushed into inviting family members who we were not exactly close to but "it would be nice to do it' was thrown around alot.

The first bit was they could hire a large bus to drive themselves (there was 21 of them), they asked us to pay for the petrol money for the day.

One of the persons plus one on congratulating is during the wedding line looked very sweaty, off and slurred her words, my friend and several others later caught her doing "lines" in the bathroom but didn't tell us until after (I was still a bit annoyed at this because they should of told staff).

Lastly I was told quite a few times during the day and before they were putting a collection together for us, I really didn't expect anything. Anyway they all left, kept texting me and calling me they'd visit with this money soon and it never happened. Probably kept it for petrol money 🤣

Few years later I've had apologies for it and how the main family member is really sorry and embarrassed they all ran off without giving me a gift. I'm not bothered about money, my wedding was more about our friends and family than us, but snorting stuff in the bathroom I would of got rid there and then.

Wedding of a work colleague in the 80s.

Lovely woman and her husband to be.

Very tasteful wedding in a church and then afterwards in a hall.

Everything classy and going well until the wedding cake was revealed. Or rather two wedding cakes.

One was a cake in the shape of a cock and balls and the other in the shape of a ginormous pair of breasts.

It was completely out of keeping with them and the wedding and myself and a few other colleagues thought someone has played a spiteful prison but no, the bride, groom, families and close friends thought it was wonderful and hilarious.

Us work colleagues just felt awkward.

I know one couple who used their engagement party as a fundraiser for the wedding. They invited loads of people to the engagement party and charged £20 per head. Obviously it cost them less than that to host the party so they pocketed the extra to pay for the wedding. Then they just had a small wedding, so 75% of the people who had paid to attend the engagement party weren’t invited to the wedding.

Yes! I know weddings are expensive but then I would rather go to the beginning or the end, not just the bookends.

And attending is also expensive! Outfit, gift, booking time off, travel, accommodation.

This particular wedding was in the middle of nowhere and guests got into arguments about cab sharing and splitting travel costs. Glad I missed it.

The only dummy wedding cakes I've heard of are WW2 they could make the cakes but struggled for enough ration coupons for the sugar for icing and marzipan so they used cardboard.

Just wow - great thread OP!

I love these types of threads!

I think it's reasonable enough that you were asked to take photos. The odds were you wouldn't last (obviously we know you did) and they wouldn't want a new girlfriend in all the photos if it didn't work out.

Plus, seemingly you timed the meeting with his parents around the siblings wedding, I think they were gratious to invite you having never met you (I assume).

This isn't cheeky or rude at all in my opinion.

I wasn't invited to a wedding once as no children were allowed. I was pregnant with my first.

Done well, you don’t realize they are dummy cakes

they can even have a cutout spot for a real slice of cake to be inserted and frosted into the display for cutting and ceremonial cake eating.

We got engaged Aug 2020. My husband best friend got engaged Christmas 2019. We picked our venue straight away but planned it for April 2023 (covid- and I was a poooooor student). My husband best friend went nuts that we were planning before her because she had Rights to do it first. She picked a covid wedding to save money. Her husband lost his job and they asked to borrow our wedding fund. We said no. They had to cancel the magican - the only entertainment they booked but he offered to do it free if his wife could video it. He turned up drunk and couldn't do any tricks. the photographer did minimal... and didn't even get a picture of all the guests (30 of us) she had her friends do her hair and make up to be a part of her day because she wasn't inviting them because of numbers. You could see her knickers through her dress. We bought some ties in the Debenhams closing sale ocz she asked us to pick them up...I'm still waiting for payment for them (it's the principle over actually wanting the money)

My weddinv was a very different vibe...She asked to be a groomswoman in our wedding because my husband was a bridesman jn hers I said no, because honestly I don't think it works and I didn't like it. So offered her to be a bridesmaid to keep the peace.... all she asked it how much were we spending becuase hers cost this... her dress and her 2 bridemaid dresses cost less than one of my bridemaids dresses... and shes 'boast' about it any chance shed get- ive bitten mg tongue to keep the peace. they smoke weed and my husband said not to at our wedding, simply because it's not something we associate with, they smoked it in the hotel room at our venue- I'm genuinely mortified.
My photographers didn't really do posed pics- i chose them purposely for this...she knew this. And kept getting them to take photos and they literally had to say sorry no more. Its about the bride and groom... but my photographers put a couple of these pics in... and honestly it infuriates me... they are like first kiss pictures and super posed... and it still fills me with rage....I've been married 10 weeks and I still haven't spoken to her.

Not even all of it but I think I better stop, this sounds abit bitchy... and i dont think i care at this point.

I loved my wedding day and I'm just glad I didn't know about weed or pictures until days after.

I was a bridesmaid in a wedding of a young woman who married a cowboy. A real, horse-riding, bull-riding cowboy.

Wedding was absolutely lovely, no expense spared.
Big. Sit-down reception, open bar. The groom invited his cowboy friends, who I didn’t see at the wedding, but I was busy - I wasn’t looking for them. There was a large crowd of them at the reception.

The dinner was very tasteful, but lots of alcohol - all of a sudden a huge brawl breaks out amongst the cowboy crowd - maybe 15 or 20 of them. Police were called, cowboys were arrested, reception was ruined.
Bride was in a flood of tears.

I’ll never forget those guys in fancy western suits and brand new cowboy boots being loaded into the paddy wagon.

Sorry but that table planning is perfectly normal. I’ve never sat next to DP at a wedding.

Yeah, in the war.

Ex sil walked out at my dad's speech because she "didn't have a good dad" and it was stirring up bad memories. Kinda made it all about her and I found it so odd. Glad she's ex sil

Went to a military wedding where the bride's father got the groom seriously seriously drunk just after they got married by slipping shots into his beer/coffee etc as he hated him.

The groom was completely hammered at the reception, ended up puking all over the wedding cake and wedding dress and got Rajendra off to hospital to have his stomach pumped.

Father of the bride sat there, watched the whole thing and didn't own up. Best man outed him and a massive fight broke out so police came.

It was insane and I felt so sorry for both the bride and groom as they were genuinely in love.

Walked out in a dramatic 'look at me' way or did it get overwhelming and just too emotional for her? I can kind of understand the second, especially if she's neurodivergent.

I had a very pared down and simple wedding and didn't want bridesmaids.

Turned up on the day and my sister had rigged her daughter up as a bridesmaid having told her that was what she was going to be.

I had to smile and nod or cause a massive row. This was in keeping with my sisters personality entirely and for this and a thousand other things, I've been NC with my sister for twenty odd years.

She had had two weddings exactly the way she wanted them but she couldn't let me have mine the way I wanted it. The kid was dressing in my least favourite colour too.

Dummy cakes are actually very popular for those who want a tall cake (very trendy at the moment).

I've been asked to ice several layers of polystyrene dummies and have just one layer of real cake at the top.

There are also dummy cutting cakes where just a wedge of real cake is put into the bottom tier so when they cut the cake it looks real.
Guests are then given cake cut from large decorated sheet cakes kept in the kitchen.

It saves a LOT of money and the bride and groom still get a beautiful cake for photos. I actually think it's a very smart thing to do and wish I'd done it!

In the eighties, I went to a wedding where the groom disappeared from the reception and the bride had to try for annulment. Divorce was cheaper and easier so she went down that route.

It transpired that he had been having an affair for months prior but if you had heard him making those vows, you would have believed he was totally in love with his bride.

I went to a baby shower with a revolting looking cake of a baby being born. No one ate the cake, apparently it was very expensive and the person who brought it was offended.

I once went to a wedding where the bride and groom were still drunk from the all night bender they went on the night before. I’m surprised they were allowed to marry. She spilt red wine all down her lovely white dress five minutes into the reception.

I read about a wedding where the women were rounded up after dinner to wash all the dishes to save money.

I was at a wedding where friends of the bride’s parents stole a silver teapot. The owner of the venue shouted at the groom for about 10 minutes despite the groom’s men requesting they handle it.