to ask what's rudest/most bizarre wedding behaviour you've known of?

[PinkStarAtNight]

Lighthearted thread, inspired by the mention of wedding politics on another thread...just interested to know if anyone out there has experienced/known of any weddings/wedding related behaviour more bizarre/rude than the one I know of. Wedding guest behaviour, bride/groom behaviour and weddings that were just bizarre in general all welcome...

So, I'll start:
Couple getting married were on a very low budget (so much so that their centrepiece wedding cake was actually just cardboard with icing and decorations over it) but they still wanted a 'nice/fancy' wedding with sit down meal and servers...so they hired a town hall for an 'afternoon tea' luncheon type thing just after the wedding, with only close friends and family invited. They then asked other, less close, friends to 'have the privilege' of serving them at this 'high tea' event, free of charge, as a favour, instead of an invite to the wedding (not even the evening party that came later).
It was actually phrased as 'would you like to have the privilege of serving us at our wedding?' and people who were asked were very much expected to see it as an honour. Apparently it's somewhat of the 'done thing' in their circle.

These friends/servers were given waiter/waitress uniforms to wear. Just another reminder- they were NOT being paid. One of the people asked to do it was a friend of mine. She actually thought she was quite close to the family, had known them years and been round for dinner and things like that, but realised they obviously didn't see her that way when instead of a proper invite to the wedding she was asked to do this.

She said that she accidentally split tea whilst pouring it out for someone at this 'luncheon' (I mean its not like she was a professional server!) and the bride's father snapped at her. Everyone at the table treated her exactly like a professional server, not making wye contact, not even thanking her, barking orders at her etc, even though she had known all of them for years and spent time at their house for gatherings...all the servers were 'thanked' a few weeks after the wedding with a box of basic Cadbury chocolates, the type that cost about £5 from Tesco. These boxes of chocolates were elaborately wrapped up and sent with thank you cards. Once opening the box, my friend realised they were all white...looked at the sell by date and they were years out!! 😂

Now, it wasn't really anything to me because I wasn't close to couple (knew them, had mutual friends but never expected to be invited in any capacity) so didn't affect me at all, but I think the whole thing was completely bizarre and such rude and entitled behaviour towards people who were supposed to be their friends. Apparently being asked to dress up in a waitor outfit and take orders/serve people is an immense honour. I didn't, and still don't, have words 😂

Anyone else got anything to top this?

Attended the wedding of DP's cousin's wedding. Very normal small family happy wedding until the speeches complete and plates from the meal were cleared. The bride's father informed his wife/bride's mother that now their youngest was hitched he was leaving her but not to tell the bride until returned from honeymoon. He had a volume control issue with his voice and several tables overheard. Killed the atmosphere.

One friend told me she wanted me to do all the bridesmaid “jobs” (plan the hen party, make decorations, set up the hall the day before etc.) but not be a bridesmaid on the day.

Name-changed as outing:

I used to be a hotel wedding coordinator and dealt with ‘stealth bridesmaids.’ The absolutely lovely groom had been my main point of contact. The bride was known locally (not to me) as a bit of a hard chaw. The day of the wedding, the team and I were waiting by the drinks table for the first guests to arrive. After a few dribs and drabs, a limo pulled up with six ladies in slinky velvet numbers, black shot with green. It was July, so looked a little off, but what surprised me was how hard-faced they were - no smiles or thanks. 20 minutes later, another limo pulled up with six smiling ladies in baby blue 👀 The bride had asked none of her six sisters to be bridesmaids, so they decided to create their own bridesmaid faction. Later in the toilets, I heard one slinky-velvet say to another slinky -velvet ‘if she fucking smirks at me again, I’m going to fucking BURST HER.’

@AngryBirdsNoMore I'm not entirely sure lack of money was the cause of it, more like the whole affair just screamed "eccentric". As far as I was aware, bride's family was working class and groom was non English but his family were relatively wealthy back home, or at least that was the impression I was under.

And IIRC, bride's mother was an absolute terror and managed everything with an iron fist, even singing one of hymns solo during the ceremony with a dizzying display of vocal acrobatics worth of Mariah Carey.

Another wedding I looked after, the bride, who lived abroad, was coming ‘home’ to get married. She hadn’t told her family she was marrying a divorced man with children - said children, little girls under 6, were in lovely frocks, and it became apparent that the family only realised at the ceremony. High tension ensued. There didn’t seem to be anyone taking care of the children. Doing a walk around, I found a little one in her frock aged about 4 playing by the swimming pool, and brought her back to her dad (seated at the top table, plastered.) The bride with tears of fury and stress in her eyes turned on me and said ‘are you going out of your way to embarrass me??’ It was dreadful. This was 1995 and I still think about it!

I've been to a fair few weddings and I've never seen or even heard of dummy cakes

One wedding I attended had a "stealth bridesmaid". The grooms sister was apparently angry at not being asked to be a bridesmaid, despite there only being one bridesmaid and having no relationship with the bride. She found out the colour of the bridesmaids dress and bought her own bridesmaid dress in the exact same colour and very similar style! At that same wedding, the wedding photographer refused to take any more photos at one point because the grooms family kept requesting photos of themselves without the bride. The photographer eventually refused and pointed out that he was there to photograph the bride and they were usually the centre of the day!

Other people's weddings were all lovely, but my hen and wedding had some pretty frustrating bits!

At hen do, maid of honour had done a lot of work to organise a nice weekend, but basically forgotten who I was/what I was into. I am coeliac and she'd arranged an afternoon tea which I couldn't have, so had to watch everyone else eat. Then went to a spa for a treatment. She'd booked us all pedicures, however I've never been a makeup person. I am a massive lover of spas, but she hadn't told anyone to bring swimmers for the spa. The staff gave us robes for the spa, so I got excited and MOH says 'oh no, we're not staying for that, we have to have a few hours at the hotel to do our makeup'. So instead of the spa, I got to watch my friends apply makeup for hours.

Then that evening, 1 friend announced another friend's pregnancy, we were all made up for her, but then everything became about the pregnancy. I wanted to go clubbing after the meal and all but 1 friend said they were tired or 'we can't do that, friend is pregnant'.

Fast forward to wedding and my brother and BIL use the whole day to moan about the food, moan about the prices of drinks at the bar (they got multiple bottles of wine and a 3 course meal for free, but the beer was apparently too expensive!) and my own brother decided to blank me on my wedding day, not even say congratulations to us, all because my parents had asked him to sleep on the sofa at their house the night before so I could sleep in a proper bed before my wedding.

errrr tell me more about this stealth bridesmaid?!

It's on page two of this classic-of-classics thread - a few posts from Lavenderhoney and then later comments from other posters.

Anybody who has never seen this thread, I implore you to set some time aside and read it in its entirety - Mumsnet at its most golden, imho! It's also the home of the much-mentioned Mexican House Thief (posts from weareeternal).

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/mumsnet_classics/1735637-Have-you-ever-encountered-anyone-this-cheeky?page=2&reply=38592327

Loving this stealth bridesmaid carry-on!

I don’t understand dummy wedding cakes.
Surely it would cost the sane to just have a nice cake that everyone could, y’know… eat??!!

it does not. a cheaper sheet cake is served from the kitchen instead.

It really doesn't. I've made a wedding cake and the ingredients alone can be over £100.

And IIRC, bride's mother was an absolute terror and managed everything with an iron fist, even singing one of hymns solo during the ceremony with a dizzying display of vocal acrobatics worth of Mariah Carey.

That's a beautiful, albeit scary, mental image! How did she manage that - did she announce that nobody else was to join in this one, or did she just drown them all out?!

An elderly relative of mine was once at a service/ceremony where a soloist came on stage to sing a hymn - made very clear indeed that it was to be a solo performance for everybody to just listen to and enjoy; and she insisted on standing at the back warbling along loudly for the entire song!

I went to a wedding once where, at the end, I overheard the bride's Gran telling her that the food was terrible and her (choreographed) first dance was boring.

Tbf, their first dance WAS boring (because, you know, they weren't very good dancers and no one's a pro after only three lessons), but who says that to the couple at the reception?!

Wedding reception and was served bacon cobs? I understand saving $ but seemed odd food

One of DH's younger female cousins.

We were asked to save the date. MIL was thrilled there was to be a big family wedding.

The invitation arrived. It explained that due to funds only those most important to the b&g could be invited to the day time event. We were invited to the evening do and told we were very welcome to attend the church and they'd love to see us there.

I assume they thought it was perfectly fine for us to schlep up to London in our finery, kill time for six hours, pay the babysitter from 10.30am and midnight for a few drinks at a club off Petticoat Lane.

Very sadly the wedding was at an important church, and MIL and FIL had married there 50 years previously. It would have been the first wedding for MIL since her own. FiL had died the previous summer. Not one thought was given to caring for MIL by either the bride or her father; a supposed Christian who had been a sidesman and a church warden.

Absolutely disgraceful behaviour and showed up that part of the family for what they were.

The first wedding at that particular church for MIL since her own. She had been to lots of others but none with such a thoughtless and selfish bride.

Invited to a wedding service but not the reception (a meal in a restaurant). ‘Fine’, I thought, maybe it’s a small venue, and maybe money was tight - no problem. All fine until we realised everyone at the service (about 70 people) was invited except me and my husband and two random others that didn’t know each other! Husband was an old friend! So you can imagine how much I was navel gazing about that one.

I was asked to be a bridesmaid and agreed. My car broke down a few month's before the wedding and had to be towed for hours to get fixed which the bride to be knew. I got a message late that night telling me I had I get measured the following day in her home town which was a 6 hour drive away so had to be there first thing. Bearing in mind I had no car as it was still in the garage with a major mechanical fault so had no way of getting there and even if I could have I would have to have got back to collect my car once it was fixed from the garage (6 hours away) then drive another 2 hours onwards home. She threw a strop when i pointed out it wasn't possible and told me if I didn't get measured I couldn't be a bridesmaid. I said that was ok as I couldn't get measured. On her wedding day I was delighted I wasn't a bridesmaid as the dresses were awful and she was 2 hours late for her wedding and because I was only a guest I hit the bar and had a ball while waiting.

I also ended up declining a wedding invite as my friend warned me the bride and groom apparently had arranged to try and get me together with the groom's friend. Apart from the fact I didn't want anyone to arrange for me to date someone I was already in a relationship with my now DH. It was early days admittedly but I found it hugely disrespectful to both me and DH that the bride and groom felt it was acceptable to try set me up when I was already in a relationship which they both knew.

2 spring to mind.

One I'm unsure whether rude but found it bizarre. On entering the room for the meal, found all guests were separated from each other at each table. So our friendship group for example of 6 women plus husbands were each put at a different table with each couple across from each other. So I had 2 male strangers either side and my DH had 2 female strangers either side of him, same for the 6 other friends. At the speeches the groom said he hoped everyone would enjoy getting to know people that had never met before and build some lifelong friendships. Can see what they were aiming for but it was just plain awkward. As soon as the meal was over, everyone scarpered back to their own friends and re-areanged seats etc. Found it odd as surely the aim is to make your guests comfortable, this definitely wasn't.

2nd one, a college friend. Wedding at a football club, food was atrocious. A chop, pink chicken, wet veg and a hard ball of black stuff which we found to be stuffing. During speeches the poor Nan caught her sleeve on a candle and caught fire. Thankfully not hurt but she was mortified at causing a scene. Then groom passes a lovely vase to his mum as a present and drops it smashes everywhere. More embarrassment and awkward silences. Bride orders young kids off the dance floor. At midnight, the lights came on and each table was given a bin bag and a bowl to put rubbish and glasses in and told to bring up to the bar on our way out.

We have a new winner 😂

It was written in the wedding order of the service home printed A4 sheet folded in the middle in capitals "MORWENNA SINGS SOLO", I kid you not.

It wasn't a bad day tbh, the whole bonkerness had a certain charm to it.

The priest officiating at the ceremony spend a long time spilling the beans to the guests about the bride's and groom's character flaws, which had been discussed in the pre-marital sessions he had had with them:

"Jonathan, remember that as a spendthrift you must rein in your desire to have everything you want right now. You recently spent £2000 on a holiday you couldn't afford. You can't carry on like that when you're married. Your wife deserves financial stability

"As for you, Mary, you must get on top of your tendency to gossip. It was unkind of you to tell your friends about Jonathan's embarrassing skin condition when he'd asked you not to."

He went on and on and on. I wanted the ground to open up and swallow us all. I can't even imagine how the bride and groom felt!

Thosepeskyseagulls · Yesterday 23:34

One friend told me she wanted me to do all the bridesmaid “jobs” (plan the hen party, make decorations, set up the hall the day before etc.) but not be a bridesmaid on the day

Please tell me your response! .