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Original poster

to ask what's rudest/most bizarre wedding behaviour you've known of?

602 replies

PinkStarAtNight · 07/07/2023 19:25

Lighthearted thread, inspired by the mention of wedding politics on another thread...just interested to know if anyone out there has experienced/known of any weddings/wedding related behaviour more bizarre/rude than the one I know of. Wedding guest behaviour, bride/groom behaviour and weddings that were just bizarre in general all welcome...

So, I'll start:
Couple getting married were on a very low budget (so much so that their centrepiece wedding cake was actually just cardboard with icing and decorations over it) but they still wanted a 'nice/fancy' wedding with sit down meal and servers...so they hired a town hall for an 'afternoon tea' luncheon type thing just after the wedding, with only close friends and family invited. They then asked other, less close, friends to 'have the privilege' of serving them at this 'high tea' event, free of charge, as a favour, instead of an invite to the wedding (not even the evening party that came later).
It was actually phrased as 'would you like to have the privilege of serving us at our wedding?' and people who were asked were very much expected to see it as an honour. Apparently it's somewhat of the 'done thing' in their circle.

These friends/servers were given waiter/waitress uniforms to wear. Just another reminder- they were NOT being paid. One of the people asked to do it was a friend of mine. She actually thought she was quite close to the family, had known them years and been round for dinner and things like that, but realised they obviously didn't see her that way when instead of a proper invite to the wedding she was asked to do this.

She said that she accidentally split tea whilst pouring it out for someone at this 'luncheon' (I mean its not like she was a professional server!) and the bride's father snapped at her. Everyone at the table treated her exactly like a professional server, not making wye contact, not even thanking her, barking orders at her etc, even though she had known all of them for years and spent time at their house for gatherings...all the servers were 'thanked' a few weeks after the wedding with a box of basic Cadbury chocolates, the type that cost about £5 from Tesco. These boxes of chocolates were elaborately wrapped up and sent with thank you cards. Once opening the box, my friend realised they were all white...looked at the sell by date and they were years out!! 😂

Now, it wasn't really anything to me because I wasn't close to couple (knew them, had mutual friends but never expected to be invited in any capacity) so didn't affect me at all, but I think the whole thing was completely bizarre and such rude and entitled behaviour towards people who were supposed to be their friends. Apparently being asked to dress up in a waitor outfit and take orders/serve people is an immense honour. I didn't, and still don't, have words 😂

Anyone else got anything to top this?

OP posts:
KateReddy · 08/07/2023 21:46

SpringNotSprung · 08/07/2023 20:46

Hmm. DS got married last summer.

Guests went like this:

US: DH's sisters and DC, their grandparents, aunts, uncles and godparents. About 24.

DIL's side about the same, another 24.

52, including us and ILs :).

There was room for 110 to sit down at the reception. Therefore DS and DIL had about 60 invitations to play with.

The cost was split between DIL's parents and us. If DS or DIL had wanted more friends the reception would have been a buffet or they could have stumped up the extra cost. They chose. They paid for their honeymoon.

Lovely service at 2pm, lovely meal at 6ish after canapés and drinks, light music and dancing until carriages at 11pm. Nobody had to pay for a drink.

The bride had one bridesmaid, her frock was quite Boho and not terribly expensive. Flowers, cake and the B&G donated the cost of favors to a homeless charity.

Bo chocolate fountain, no photo booth, no idiocy. Just good food, wine, music and bonhomie

So what bit did you find rude or bizarre? 🤔

WomanStanleyWoman2 · 08/07/2023 21:49

When my friend was getting married, the best man’s girlfriend made it her mission to become part of the wedding party. Bride to be knew her relatively well as the best man was her fiancé’s housemate, but she was still essentially more a friend of the groom (or the girlfriend of a friend of the groom).

She was there when the groom asked her boyfriend to be best man and when he accepted, she jumped in with “And of course I’d be honoured to be a bridesmaid”. Bride was understandably taken aback and said “Oh… well the thing is, my friend Stan and my sister are going to be my bridesmaids.” “Oh, but it’d be nice to have one more, wouldn’t it? Seeing as we all spend so much time together.” Bride says thank you, but she’d prefer to keep it small. “We’ll, maybe your sister could be chief bridesmaid so she feels special, and Stan and I could just be regular bridesmaids.”

At this point, the bride confessed she actually only really wanted me, but had asked her sister too to avoid a family row. Best man’s girlfriend then says “Ohhh… well maybe I could just do a reading”. Bride says me and best man are the only ones doing readings - one from each side. Girlfriend then says “Ohhh… ooh, I know! I could carry Molly down the aisle for you!”

You might think Molly was the bride to be’s baby. No. She was her cat. The madwoman wanted to carry the bloody cat down the aisle on a velvet cushion.

DrSbaitso · 08/07/2023 21:52

The madwoman wanted to carry the bloody cat down the aisle on a velvet cushion.

That would be brilliant.

PriamFarrl · 08/07/2023 21:56

When did men stop being ushers and start being groomsmen?

Missedmytoe · 08/07/2023 22:05

DoneWithHer · 07/07/2023 22:24

No story to tell but isn't dummy wedding cakes fairly common?

My Aunt got married not long after the war. Money was very tight.
Their photos show a 3 tier cake but it was only the bottom tier that was edible. The other 2 layers were iced cardboard.

BreeTown · 08/07/2023 22:11

WomanStanleyWoman2 · 08/07/2023 21:49

When my friend was getting married, the best man’s girlfriend made it her mission to become part of the wedding party. Bride to be knew her relatively well as the best man was her fiancé’s housemate, but she was still essentially more a friend of the groom (or the girlfriend of a friend of the groom).

She was there when the groom asked her boyfriend to be best man and when he accepted, she jumped in with “And of course I’d be honoured to be a bridesmaid”. Bride was understandably taken aback and said “Oh… well the thing is, my friend Stan and my sister are going to be my bridesmaids.” “Oh, but it’d be nice to have one more, wouldn’t it? Seeing as we all spend so much time together.” Bride says thank you, but she’d prefer to keep it small. “We’ll, maybe your sister could be chief bridesmaid so she feels special, and Stan and I could just be regular bridesmaids.”

At this point, the bride confessed she actually only really wanted me, but had asked her sister too to avoid a family row. Best man’s girlfriend then says “Ohhh… well maybe I could just do a reading”. Bride says me and best man are the only ones doing readings - one from each side. Girlfriend then says “Ohhh… ooh, I know! I could carry Molly down the aisle for you!”

You might think Molly was the bride to be’s baby. No. She was her cat. The madwoman wanted to carry the bloody cat down the aisle on a velvet cushion.

Did she manage to get herself part of the wedding party in the end? Did she behave at the wedding?

WomanStanleyWoman2 · 08/07/2023 22:13

I think the groom took the best man to one side in the end and made it clear it wasn’t on - to my friend’s great relief!

MissingMoominMamma · 08/07/2023 23:07

Maireas · 08/07/2023 13:13

Oh, it's awful. It's quite the thing now, never used to be. That's because weddings have changed now and many of them are about the images rather than a traditional celebration.

Show quote history

I remember lots of weddings where more people turned up for the evening do.

NewUserName2023 · 08/07/2023 23:08

We were invited to DHs work colleagues wedding. The groom invited 2 female work colleagues who he was sleeping with to his wedding - one of whom ran out of the church in tears during the ceremony. His 5 foot gran got rat faced on whisky at the reception and threatened to headbutt several of the guests.

Bride found out about the other women when he accidently called out the wrong name during sex.

Maireas · 08/07/2023 23:10

MissingMoominMamma · 08/07/2023 23:07

I remember lots of weddings where more people turned up for the evening do.

Show quote history

I'm talking about my experience over a long time. It's only comparatively recently I've come across separate invitations for separate parts of a wedding. In my community you tend to invite everyone for the whole wedding.

DoneWithHer · 09/07/2023 00:35

Missedmytoe · 08/07/2023 22:05

My Aunt got married not long after the war. Money was very tight.
Their photos show a 3 tier cake but it was only the bottom tier that was edible. The other 2 layers were iced cardboard.

Show quote history

I never really stopped to think about the origin of the dummy tiers but it has been a thing at the majority of weddings I've been at in my lifetime (in my 30s).

Sugarfree23 · 09/07/2023 01:20

Missedmytoe · 08/07/2023 22:05

My Aunt got married not long after the war. Money was very tight.
Their photos show a 3 tier cake but it was only the bottom tier that was edible. The other 2 layers were iced cardboard.

Show quote history

It wouldn't just have been money that was the issue.
Sugar was rationed until well after the war, just googled it was longer than i thought, September 1953.

MrsMarkRonson · 09/07/2023 02:54

The OP's story just made the radio news here in NZ! One of the top stories.

Downunderduchess · 09/07/2023 03:16

PrittStix · 08/07/2023 18:53

Positive story though

went to a wedding where we were all asked to where white/cream and the bride wore bright blue

absolutely stunning

The photos would have looked amazing!!

sashh · 09/07/2023 04:56

A friend's mother's wedding.

The day before the venue phoned and said they had double booked!

On the day the wedding itself was fine and then we went to the hotel for the reception and none of the things booked were happening. It was December and we were supposed to get mulled wine on arrival.

Me being my bolshy self, went of to find the manager, I went to the bar to ask for the manger and someone ordered a drink and said it was on 'the wedding tab'.

I told the server not to serve him, he started to argue, I asked him to name either the bride or the groom.

He couldn't.

Friend and I stayed over at the hotel, when we checked out the following day there was a meal on the bill. We had not eaten in the restaurant.

CoachBeardsJane · 09/07/2023 06:02

Wedding up a mountain, bride 3 hours late, registrar was about to leave so someone got in a land rover and picked her up, she was not happy because her hair had been curled wrong so she washed it again and redid her makeup (she was doing it herself).

Wedding buffet was binned because it was a fish buffet and had been out for too long.

Barrel of beer, so we got smashed, no food,

Wedding favours were mugs with names on in sharpie but when the mug was filled with hot tea the sharpie came off, no one noticed initially so everyone was wearing sharpie smudges on their faces.

Bride got changed into a dress that barely grazed her arse.

Brides family went for a curry in the middle of the wedding reception and came back drunk.

Second dance of the wedding performed by a band they hired and asked to perform a specific playlist was 'no woman no cry' by bob marley

A sheep ate their wedding cake (just nibbled it)

Hilarious because we were pissed.

We got a lift from a drunk person in a car to get down the mountain (4 mile walk)

Got a curry at 1am and ate it with the brides mother who announced it was 'a bit shit really wasn't it'

Ah the 80s were simpler!!

Newestname002 · 09/07/2023 06:13

@Weefreetiffany

So we sent an online contribution to their honeymoon and decided to lose touch.

I think you were very good to do this, as you and your husband had already done so much. I think if I was going to distance myself afterwards I would have responded, yes we sent you a card plus our present was the professional invitations, costs of my bridesmaid's outfit, labour in setting up the room, serving cake, etc etc. Really I'm shocked at how some brides and grooms treat people who've already spent money and time to attend their event. 🌹

Eve171 · 09/07/2023 06:14

CoachBeardsJane · 09/07/2023 06:02

Wedding up a mountain, bride 3 hours late, registrar was about to leave so someone got in a land rover and picked her up, she was not happy because her hair had been curled wrong so she washed it again and redid her makeup (she was doing it herself).

Wedding buffet was binned because it was a fish buffet and had been out for too long.

Barrel of beer, so we got smashed, no food,

Wedding favours were mugs with names on in sharpie but when the mug was filled with hot tea the sharpie came off, no one noticed initially so everyone was wearing sharpie smudges on their faces.

Bride got changed into a dress that barely grazed her arse.

Brides family went for a curry in the middle of the wedding reception and came back drunk.

Second dance of the wedding performed by a band they hired and asked to perform a specific playlist was 'no woman no cry' by bob marley

A sheep ate their wedding cake (just nibbled it)

Hilarious because we were pissed.

We got a lift from a drunk person in a car to get down the mountain (4 mile walk)

Got a curry at 1am and ate it with the brides mother who announced it was 'a bit shit really wasn't it'

Ah the 80s were simpler!!

Now this is what real weddings are all about 😀

DreamTheMoors · 09/07/2023 06:35

YouJustDoYou · 08/07/2023 06:26

Nothing major, but when I was younger was invited to a close friends wedding as a bridesmaid. Was invited to a bridesmaid dress fitting/choosing thing. All going great, bride wanted handmade and hand tailored dresses so we all had fittings done, chose the fabric from a selection of silks etc she had picked out. Then when the dressmaker said what the cost would be, bride looked at us all and said, "so you'll need to send me that soon so I can pay". We were all like, wait, what? You want US to pay for this? She hadn't said anything, and being UK (and having been to many weddings before), not one of us were used to the American thing of getting bridesmaids to pay for their own stuff. I couldn't afford it.

I’m American. I paid for my bridesmaids’ dresses, shoes, hair, makeup - the works. Everybody I know has done the same.
I do know of the impolite and tacky issue of some brides asking their bridesmaids to pay, but no one I’ve ever been a bridesmaid for has ever asked me to pay.
It’s rude to ask a favor of a dear friend or relative and then expect them to pay for it.

RiseYpres · 09/07/2023 07:34

My mother would be the type to pressure me into inviting all the random relatives we had not seen and did not much like to my wedding. Thankfully though I married in DH's home country (the UK!). I would have probably succumbed to the pressure too as I had been conditioned to keep the peace where she is concerned.

She asked me what she ought to wear and I said 'anything you like but not white please'. So she wore ivory. Hmm. She kept sayimg 'It's really more a pale taupe though. ' No it was fucking ivory. Even said ivory on the label!

No-one from 'my side' came to my wedding. I had only just arrived in the UK with DH. We had about 60 people and the only people I knew were my own parents and DH! It was a fabulous wedding though (even if i do say so myself). And I made loads of friends and met DH's family for the first time and became really close with them so it all worked out. About 10 years later we had a massive party with most of the same people and it was like a second wedding but with fewer fascinators.

PriamFarrl · 09/07/2023 07:41

MrsMarkRonson · 09/07/2023 02:54

The OP's story just made the radio news here in NZ! One of the top stories.

Seriously? It’s a fun enough story but that has to be a really slow news day in NZ.

MissingMoominMamma · 09/07/2023 08:43

CoachBeardsJane · 09/07/2023 06:02

Wedding up a mountain, bride 3 hours late, registrar was about to leave so someone got in a land rover and picked her up, she was not happy because her hair had been curled wrong so she washed it again and redid her makeup (she was doing it herself).

Wedding buffet was binned because it was a fish buffet and had been out for too long.

Barrel of beer, so we got smashed, no food,

Wedding favours were mugs with names on in sharpie but when the mug was filled with hot tea the sharpie came off, no one noticed initially so everyone was wearing sharpie smudges on their faces.

Bride got changed into a dress that barely grazed her arse.

Brides family went for a curry in the middle of the wedding reception and came back drunk.

Second dance of the wedding performed by a band they hired and asked to perform a specific playlist was 'no woman no cry' by bob marley

A sheep ate their wedding cake (just nibbled it)

Hilarious because we were pissed.

We got a lift from a drunk person in a car to get down the mountain (4 mile walk)

Got a curry at 1am and ate it with the brides mother who announced it was 'a bit shit really wasn't it'

Ah the 80s were simpler!!

This sounds brilliant!! 😁

Cakecakecheese · 09/07/2023 08:54

Newestname002 · 09/07/2023 06:13

@Weefreetiffany

So we sent an online contribution to their honeymoon and decided to lose touch.

I think you were very good to do this, as you and your husband had already done so much. I think if I was going to distance myself afterwards I would have responded, yes we sent you a card plus our present was the professional invitations, costs of my bridesmaid's outfit, labour in setting up the room, serving cake, etc etc. Really I'm shocked at how some brides and grooms treat people who've already spent money and time to attend their event. 🌹

Or she should have gone passive aggressive and sent a really small uneven amount like £2.17 or something.

howdoesyourgardengrowinmay · 09/07/2023 09:13

PriamFarrl · 09/07/2023 07:41

Seriously? It’s a fun enough story but that has to be a really slow news day in NZ.

Show quote history

What's wrong with a slow news day? Anyway most news programmes in the UK have an "and finally..." slot to finish so you don't go away only remembering the shit stuff going on.

MrsMarkRonson · 09/07/2023 09:26

howdoesyourgardengrowinmay · 09/07/2023 09:13

What's wrong with a slow news day? Anyway most news programmes in the UK have an "and finally..." slot to finish so you don't go away only remembering the shit stuff going on.

Show quote history

It was the second story on the hourly news update! Top story was about a truck-car crash that 2 people died from, so aside from that I think it must have been a slow news day as it usually is over here.

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