Page 15 | to ask what's rudest/most bizarre wedding behaviour you've known of?

Tyrionapproach · 09/07/2023 09:31

Well this thread has definitely made me feel less alone, besides which enlivening a dull Sunday morning for me as I wait for my train back to my real life on the other side of the country.

This weekend my family has cancelled me yet again, this time due to a tea party for a fortieth I'm supposed not to have twigged. This is the same relative who didn't invite me to their wedding ceremony despite my living just an hour away at the time. I got a token invite to the evening reception and disco. Definitely time for a family divorce....long overdue in fact.

My favourite anecdote is the one about the later evening guests peering in through the windows like forlorn Victorian orphans...

I've thankfully not had to attend many weddings as most of my friends my age, including me, either didn't get married or eloped, but the one that stands out was where the bride's mother seemed to think it was HER wedding, even down to telling her daughter what shoes to wear. Apart from me and the bridegroom, his cousin and mum, the pews were full of the bride's mother's (quite elderly) chums...mum is a bit of a Hyacinth though, when looking to downsize one exasperated relative was heard to wonder aloud whether she realised Buck House was already taken....

StrawberryWater · 09/07/2023 09:39

SpicyTool75 · 08/07/2023 00:19

2 spring to mind.

One I'm unsure whether rude but found it bizarre. On entering the room for the meal, found all guests were separated from each other at each table. So our friendship group for example of 6 women plus husbands were each put at a different table with each couple across from each other. So I had 2 male strangers either side and my DH had 2 female strangers either side of him, same for the 6 other friends. At the speeches the groom said he hoped everyone would enjoy getting to know people that had never met before and build some lifelong friendships. Can see what they were aiming for but it was just plain awkward. As soon as the meal was over, everyone scarpered back to their own friends and re-areanged seats etc. Found it odd as surely the aim is to make your guests comfortable, this definitely wasn't.

2nd one, a college friend. Wedding at a football club, food was atrocious. A chop, pink chicken, wet veg and a hard ball of black stuff which we found to be stuffing. During speeches the poor Nan caught her sleeve on a candle and caught fire. Thankfully not hurt but she was mortified at causing a scene. Then groom passes a lovely vase to his mum as a present and drops it smashes everywhere. More embarrassment and awkward silences. Bride orders young kids off the dance floor. At midnight, the lights came on and each table was given a bin bag and a bowl to put rubbish and glasses in and told to bring up to the bar on our way out.

Your first one reminds me of my brothers wedding. Everyone was split up to sit with people they didn’t know in the hope of ‘making life long friendships’. We tried to move after the speeches but the bride (my sil) went a bit nuts so we all ended up back on the table of strangers. My partner at the time (now husband) were quite a bit older than everyone on the table and it was super awkward.

Also at another wedding one of the couples changed their kid’s dirty nappy on the table we were sat on. Vile.

StrawberryWater · 09/07/2023 09:41

Oh and I’ve been to plenty of weddings where people have tried to get free photoshoots from the photographer. My mil tried it at mine. She wanted to take the photographer off for an hour or two to take shots of just her and her kids. He told her to get lost.

CheeseBandit · 09/07/2023 10:06

Thought of another.
Friend got married straight out of uni. Stupidly got drunk and asked a girl to be BM as she felt sorry for her (meaning I couldn’t be BM as well because of cost).
Of course she was a total pain in the arse and thought the wedding was about her. Because of everyone travelling there was a joint stag/hen on the Thursday night. We all got very drunk. BM went to the groom, told him not to marry bride, he could come home and sleep with her and they could be together.
Everyone had to muddle through wedding and they never spoke to her again strangely.

SamW98 · 09/07/2023 11:02

Went to a wedding during Euro 96 where the bride was left waiting outside the church in the car as the groom was late and not answering his phone. (Mobiles were very basic back then, phone calls only)

Then him, best man and several other men came running up the street. They’d been watching the first half of the England match in the pub.

Several men sat at the back and sneaked out the church during the ceremony to catch the last 10 minutes of the game.

The marriage lasted less than 6 months

13Days · 09/07/2023 12:52

I have a story about my own wedding - now divorced after 8 years of domestic abuse. The signs were there, I wonder if I ignored them; most likely, I did.

12 people at the wedding ceremony. Just 12. Yet still, there were bizarre politics on his family's side. The idea was for me to meet my husband to be at the bottom of staircase of the hotel, then we would go together to the wedding ceremony venue.

His sister wanted her, her two grown-up children and my husband's Mum (my then-MIL) to meet us there - a sort of me, him and Uncle Tom Cobley and All-type scenario.

Answer: no.

OK, so if you've gone through a wedding ceremony, you'll know how emotional and overwhelming it all is. At 50, it was my first-time marriage. I was so overcome by it all that I could hardly speak. Yet apparently, I said:

"I'll SORT HIM OUT" when my new husband was tearful after we exchanged our vows. My MIL rushed out at the end of the ceremony to have a bit of a cry apparently. What a horrible bully of a daughter-in-law, etc etc. Can I just mention that I didn't say this? It's just not the sort of thing that would ever come out of mouth, ever ever.

My side of the family ALL confirmed this. And then, my NEW HUSBAND claimed a few weeks later that while we were signing the register and having photographs taken, I apparently said,

"IF HE BEHAVES".

WTAF?

So, this was in response to a question, but please could he tell me what the question was, and who asked it? Apparently, no - he couldn't.

The reason why? Because he'd made it up in order to upset and unnerve me - in retrospect.

Quite the thug, wasn't I? Except for one awkward thing: I wasn't.

He went on to abuse and assault me quite a few times since we married in 2014. Reader, I divorced him. It took me a long time to do so - eight years - but I eventually did it.

DdraigGoch · 09/07/2023 12:56

temperedolive · 08/07/2023 02:21

Mt husband's cousin. The nonsense started long before the wedding.

Immediately, she became The Bride, and any comments about weddings/marriage were obviously directed at her. At Christmas lunch, her fiance's sister commented (in an entirely separate conversation not involving The Bride) that she and her boyfriend would probably just have a quick signing papers marriage on graduation because they wanted to save money for a house. The Bride overheard, and became deeply offended because she felt that she was being judged for wasting money on a wedding and sulked in the garden for the rest of the meal.

The Bride and The Groom are very into local theatre and horror, which is great. Hobbies are fun. But they decided to make their wedding a non-optional fancy dress party. Anyone not wearing a costume would not be admitted. His mother was very uncomfortable wearing a costume, but decided eventually to wear a man's suit and fedora and go as one of the Blues Brothers. Bride threw a massive temper tantrum because the costume didn't MEAN enough to her MIL. She was apparently supposed to use the fancy dress wedding to express her inner self and dress as what she had always dreamed of being. Anything less was "not supporting our vision."

Instead of invitations, we got booklets of instructions on how we were expected to behave on the day. It included a page on how quirky and individualistic the Bride and The Groom are. No actual information there, just a reminder that they're so very quirky.

When we arrived, the venue was decorated like a crime scene where a murder had taken place. Fake blood everywhere, entrails draped over the tables, etc. The Bride spent the evening accosting guests and demanding that they tell her how brave she was for having such an offbeat event and how much better it was than a traditional wedding. If their response wasn't as effusive as she wanted, she'd run back to The Groom, who would come over to berate the guest for hurting his wife. Even if you praised her on command, if she didn't think you really meant it you got a telling off.

She also invited the local paper to the wedding, and disappeared for nearly an hour to interview with them. The interview included complaints about everyone who she felt hadn't supported her vision, from some online wedding forum to The Groom's family (the paper quoted her complaining about MIL's outfit, among other people.) The Groom took advantage of her absence to get absolutely pissed and vomit in mumtiple places. It was not immediately obvious that this had happened because of the way things were decorated, so there was time for the stench to permeate everything before anyone noticed and cleaned it up

Ok, this has to trump all

Hawkins0001 · 09/07/2023 12:58

WickedSerious · 08/07/2023 12:36

I went to one where the guests had to queue for cold burger and chips,served on paper plates with no cutlery.

Show quote history

Holy trinity

SamW98 · 09/07/2023 12:59

@temperedolive - that is actually beyond batshit and comedy gold.

Dare I ask if they’re still together?

Original poster

PinkStarAtNight · 09/07/2023 13:08

13Days · 09/07/2023 12:52

I have a story about my own wedding - now divorced after 8 years of domestic abuse. The signs were there, I wonder if I ignored them; most likely, I did.

12 people at the wedding ceremony. Just 12. Yet still, there were bizarre politics on his family's side. The idea was for me to meet my husband to be at the bottom of staircase of the hotel, then we would go together to the wedding ceremony venue.

His sister wanted her, her two grown-up children and my husband's Mum (my then-MIL) to meet us there - a sort of me, him and Uncle Tom Cobley and All-type scenario.

Answer: no.

OK, so if you've gone through a wedding ceremony, you'll know how emotional and overwhelming it all is. At 50, it was my first-time marriage. I was so overcome by it all that I could hardly speak. Yet apparently, I said:

"I'll SORT HIM OUT" when my new husband was tearful after we exchanged our vows. My MIL rushed out at the end of the ceremony to have a bit of a cry apparently. What a horrible bully of a daughter-in-law, etc etc. Can I just mention that I didn't say this? It's just not the sort of thing that would ever come out of mouth, ever ever.

My side of the family ALL confirmed this. And then, my NEW HUSBAND claimed a few weeks later that while we were signing the register and having photographs taken, I apparently said,

"IF HE BEHAVES".

WTAF?

So, this was in response to a question, but please could he tell me what the question was, and who asked it? Apparently, no - he couldn't.

The reason why? Because he'd made it up in order to upset and unnerve me - in retrospect.

Quite the thug, wasn't I? Except for one awkward thing: I wasn't.

He went on to abuse and assault me quite a few times since we married in 2014. Reader, I divorced him. It took me a long time to do so - eight years - but I eventually did it.

@13Days I'm so sorry. Well done on getting free eventually

OP posts:

WickedSerious · 09/07/2023 13:12

Hawkins0001 · 09/07/2023 12:58

Holy trinity

Show quote history

No booze either.

Lunde · 09/07/2023 14:12

I went to a wedding once where the bride and groom got so paralytically drunk that they couldn't get into the taxi that was to take them to the hotel for their wedding night. In the end they ended up spending their wedding night playing Twister with a group of drunken randoms at a nearby mate's house.

Blinkinbloodyhayfever · 09/07/2023 14:31

Enjoying the stories.
Please though people stop quoting the opening post! We know what you are responding to!

WomanStanleyWoman2 · 09/07/2023 15:21

PinkStarAtNight · 07/07/2023 19:25

Lighthearted thread, inspired by the mention of wedding politics on another thread...just interested to know if anyone out there has experienced/known of any weddings/wedding related behaviour more bizarre/rude than the one I know of. Wedding guest behaviour, bride/groom behaviour and weddings that were just bizarre in general all welcome...

So, I'll start:
Couple getting married were on a very low budget (so much so that their centrepiece wedding cake was actually just cardboard with icing and decorations over it) but they still wanted a 'nice/fancy' wedding with sit down meal and servers...so they hired a town hall for an 'afternoon tea' luncheon type thing just after the wedding, with only close friends and family invited. They then asked other, less close, friends to 'have the privilege' of serving them at this 'high tea' event, free of charge, as a favour, instead of an invite to the wedding (not even the evening party that came later).
It was actually phrased as 'would you like to have the privilege of serving us at our wedding?' and people who were asked were very much expected to see it as an honour. Apparently it's somewhat of the 'done thing' in their circle.

These friends/servers were given waiter/waitress uniforms to wear. Just another reminder- they were NOT being paid. One of the people asked to do it was a friend of mine. She actually thought she was quite close to the family, had known them years and been round for dinner and things like that, but realised they obviously didn't see her that way when instead of a proper invite to the wedding she was asked to do this.

She said that she accidentally split tea whilst pouring it out for someone at this 'luncheon' (I mean its not like she was a professional server!) and the bride's father snapped at her. Everyone at the table treated her exactly like a professional server, not making wye contact, not even thanking her, barking orders at her etc, even though she had known all of them for years and spent time at their house for gatherings...all the servers were 'thanked' a few weeks after the wedding with a box of basic Cadbury chocolates, the type that cost about £5 from Tesco. These boxes of chocolates were elaborately wrapped up and sent with thank you cards. Once opening the box, my friend realised they were all white...looked at the sell by date and they were years out!! 😂

Now, it wasn't really anything to me because I wasn't close to couple (knew them, had mutual friends but never expected to be invited in any capacity) so didn't affect me at all, but I think the whole thing was completely bizarre and such rude and entitled behaviour towards people who were supposed to be their friends. Apparently being asked to dress up in a waitor outfit and take orders/serve people is an immense honour. I didn't, and still don't, have words 😂

Anyone else got anything to top this?

I agree with @Blinkinbloodyhayfever.

therarebear · 09/07/2023 15:36

Splishsploshsplash · 08/07/2023 13:11

I can’t get over the partial invitations! I’ve not heard of this before (I’m in Australia). To the best of my knowledge it’s not a thing here at all.

Yep, I'm Australian but have lived in the UK a long time. I've never come across an 'evening only' invitation in Australia. I've also never had to pay for drinks at an Australian wedding. But I do love that there's more food that comes out in the evening at UK weddings! The first time I was invited to an English wedding I got confused because there was a wedding 'breakfast' - but it was being served at 2pm! I was picturing bacon and eggs in the afternoon....

MoltenLasagne · 09/07/2023 15:43

Evening invitations make sense if you're getting married locally and want to invite a big group of e.g. Work colleagues, a sports club who all know each other.

It was pretty common in my working class family growing up in the 90s. You'd go to the church to see the wedding, head home for food while the bridal party had a restaurant lunch then all meet up at the local social club or village hall at around 5pm for a disco and basic buffet. Did it for all my Dad's cousins where we were wider family and never thought to be offended that they couldn't afford to feed the masses.

Maireas · 09/07/2023 16:11

If you can't afford to provide refreshments, cut down the wedding. People who just go to the evening are still expected to give a present. Maybe just have fewer people.

Meeting · 09/07/2023 16:37

Honestly in all these stories there seems to be a recurring theme of people wanting a wedding they can't afford.

ifIwerenotanandroid · 09/07/2023 16:42

We were invited to the evening 'do' of a friend's wedding & nothing else: not the reception (fair enough), but not the ceremony either! So we didn't see them get married, but we spent the evening at a crowded pub where we only knew the B&G who didn't speak to us that nght, being busy with their families, & the music was so loud everywhere that I couldn't even talk to DH, far less get to know anyone else there. It was one of the most boring evenings of my life. I'd rather they'd said, "Just give us a gift & don't bother on the day" - I'd've been perfectly happy to do that.

Maireas · 09/07/2023 16:47

Meeting · 09/07/2023 16:37

Honestly in all these stories there seems to be a recurring theme of people wanting a wedding they can't afford.

You're right, it's a real problem.

ifIwerenotanandroid · 09/07/2023 16:53

Another friend's wedding...

Friend (X) was quite a bit older & had had a difficult relationship with their fearsome mother. I found myself next to said mother before going into the ceremony & in an effort to make small talk I blathered, "You must be pleased that X is getting married," at which she turned to me coldly & said with heavy emphasis, "MUST I?".😬

CC4712 · 09/07/2023 16:56

therarebear · 09/07/2023 15:36

Yep, I'm Australian but have lived in the UK a long time. I've never come across an 'evening only' invitation in Australia. I've also never had to pay for drinks at an Australian wedding. But I do love that there's more food that comes out in the evening at UK weddings! The first time I was invited to an English wedding I got confused because there was a wedding 'breakfast' - but it was being served at 2pm! I was picturing bacon and eggs in the afternoon....

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I too had never heard of an evening invite where I grew up. I've lived in 3 countries- and the UK is the only one that does this. At our wedding, we too provided beers and wine all night (people paid if they wanted spirits).

When I attended my first UK, I had to return to my hotel room to get money to buy my own drinks- never occurred to me that providing a welcome drink only was generous of them! I've lived here many years now- so come prepared now.

whynotwhatknot · 09/07/2023 17:27

My dsis wedding-my parents offered to pay for it all very generous but took over everything mainly the guest list-she had to invite family we hadnt seen for years just so my df could show off-wedding cost about 40k twenty years ago

she relented and over half were people we havent even seen since-the wedding planner was ill so other staff took over but werent briefed-the photographer was a moody arse and i told him to fuck off at one point

one guest got pissed and during the night (some people stayed a tthe venue) was going round slashing tyres

they got divored eventually and my dad still goes on about how much it cost him an how grateful she should be-they dont talk now

Maireas · 09/07/2023 17:32

Too true, @CC4712 - I do often wonder how couples do the demarcation; who comes to the main reception v evening. Are there lists of good friends/less good friends? Do people get bumped up? (Or down?!)

Mrsgreen100 · 09/07/2023 17:36

What the actual fuck?