to ask what's rudest/most bizarre wedding behaviour you've known of?

[PinkStarAtNight]

Lighthearted thread, inspired by the mention of wedding politics on another thread...just interested to know if anyone out there has experienced/known of any weddings/wedding related behaviour more bizarre/rude than the one I know of. Wedding guest behaviour, bride/groom behaviour and weddings that were just bizarre in general all welcome...

So, I'll start:
Couple getting married were on a very low budget (so much so that their centrepiece wedding cake was actually just cardboard with icing and decorations over it) but they still wanted a 'nice/fancy' wedding with sit down meal and servers...so they hired a town hall for an 'afternoon tea' luncheon type thing just after the wedding, with only close friends and family invited. They then asked other, less close, friends to 'have the privilege' of serving them at this 'high tea' event, free of charge, as a favour, instead of an invite to the wedding (not even the evening party that came later).
It was actually phrased as 'would you like to have the privilege of serving us at our wedding?' and people who were asked were very much expected to see it as an honour. Apparently it's somewhat of the 'done thing' in their circle.

These friends/servers were given waiter/waitress uniforms to wear. Just another reminder- they were NOT being paid. One of the people asked to do it was a friend of mine. She actually thought she was quite close to the family, had known them years and been round for dinner and things like that, but realised they obviously didn't see her that way when instead of a proper invite to the wedding she was asked to do this.

She said that she accidentally split tea whilst pouring it out for someone at this 'luncheon' (I mean its not like she was a professional server!) and the bride's father snapped at her. Everyone at the table treated her exactly like a professional server, not making wye contact, not even thanking her, barking orders at her etc, even though she had known all of them for years and spent time at their house for gatherings...all the servers were 'thanked' a few weeks after the wedding with a box of basic Cadbury chocolates, the type that cost about £5 from Tesco. These boxes of chocolates were elaborately wrapped up and sent with thank you cards. Once opening the box, my friend realised they were all white...looked at the sell by date and they were years out!! 😂

Now, it wasn't really anything to me because I wasn't close to couple (knew them, had mutual friends but never expected to be invited in any capacity) so didn't affect me at all, but I think the whole thing was completely bizarre and such rude and entitled behaviour towards people who were supposed to be their friends. Apparently being asked to dress up in a waitor outfit and take orders/serve people is an immense honour. I didn't, and still don't, have words 😂

Anyone else got anything to top this?

She's my sister, not my cousin and I'm supposed to be a bridesmaid! Pretty sure my parent's are going to talk her round but a but disappointed she hasn't thought of this.

We had rearranged our wedding because I found out I was pregnant with the due date being within a few days of our original wedding date.

DHs friends announced they were pregnant too, our due dates were within a few days of each other.

when I had a MC at 16 weeks - everyone knew. We decided to go ahead with our original wedding date. Our wedding was always going to be child free, which wasn’t a problem when we bought the date forward but made it awkward for DHs friends when the date went back to original.

At a mutual friends party she loudly made a fuss in front of everyone about the fact we had effectively disinvited them and it wasn’t their fault that our baby died and theirs was fine. They hadn’t actually asked about bringing their baby to our wedding if it was born, which I would have been upset about but would have of course said ok.

we don’t speak to them any more

I work at weddings on the weekends just for extra money and I've seen a few corkers but this one sticks in my head.

Bride had done a DIY job. It was absolutely lovely, photos of guests as their place cards etc beautiful her dress stunning but my god was she the most miserable person I've ever had the misfortune to come across.

She fucked up the pre order now as a rule my boss doesn't really do that because people forget/change their mind etc but by the time he had his final meeting she went ahead anyway ... you see where this is going she fucked it up so it was meant to be 65 steak and 25 chicken. She sent it the other way round.

Guests mostly ok but she was fucking raging adamant she was right. Making snide comments to the waitresses every time they walked past.

Next thing she is screaming at the band, photographers and the hall keepers. For what reason I have no idea. Yeah she fucked up the food but do you know what it was fine guests drinking laughing but she just raged the whole day and night.

She then changed into a dress that honestly reminded me of a teacher going to work (no shade at teachers totally fine for work not your wedding)

Sat at a table raging I don't even think she spoke to her husband all night. Screamed at me because I had no safety pins for her bridesmaid. (I work behind the bar)

It was the most bizarre wedding I have ever worked she was just utterly awful to absolutely everyone.

We all drive to work 4 out of 5 of us left our cars that night. Brutal.

What was the teacher going to work outfit? Just curious 🧐

Sorry, I don't know how I misread that.

Clearly you can't leave your baby behind so if she really won't make an exception then you can't go! I think she will, though, once she realises that you really can't leave your baby with anyone, especially if you're breastfeeding.

Really? You think it’s perfectly reasonable to expect the bride’s brother’s plus one to essentially “sing for her supper”?

Even if you don’t think it’s incredibly rude to do that to a guest, how cheap do you have to be to get a guest to act as photographer when you have no idea if she’s even competent at it? Surely you want decent wedding photos even if you’re not bothered about your guests being comfortable?

Parents are awful to do this - decide to invite all their relatives to the wedding, leaving no space for people who are important to the b&g. They’re making their child’s big day all about them and it’s really selfish. I wouldn’t dream of interfering with my son or daughter’s guest list.

Note to self after reading this thread: decline all wedding invitations!

@Maireas just like an everyday dress if that makes sense. Dark coloured. Her wedding dress was beautiful I just didn't get it

Well. She does sound a bit strange, to be fair.

*13 not 16
apologies that’s an awful typo to make 💔

also as it goes they did come with their baby, after we had a conversation where she apologised. On the day they realised they couldn’t hack a wedding with a newborn and left after the ceremony without saying anything… their dinner we paid for went to waste 🙄

Positive story though

went to a wedding where we were all asked to where white/cream and the bride wore bright blue

absolutely stunning

I have to say not feeding some of the wedding guests is beyond me/roping them in as unpaid labour... nothing wrong with a small/simple wedding... but guests are guests whatever the occasion. i am from SEA (Bangladesh to be precise) and in our part of the world (and the diaspora that live here), the hosts (including all host family adults +/- family friends) don't usually sit down until all guests have been fed. there are waiters, but we go round individually making sure all guests have had good amounts of food and personally load their plates. but then we also have massive weddings (which I am not a fan of at all). but even a person who has very little money would not let their child marry without providing food, however simple that food might be. if any wedding runs out of food (the guest list is very approximate and multiple helpings encouraged)... that is hugely embarrassing.

That’s kind of what Mil did at our wedding. They have a huge family but a lot of them rarely see each other. She pressured us into inviting a load of people I’d never even met and haven’t seen in the 15 years since. She even wanted to have her own invite list for her friends, which fortunately, DH vetoed.

I had a hairdresser and makeup person booked to do mine, my sister’s, my mum’s and MiL’s hair and makeup. Without asking me first (bearing in mind I was paying), Mil offered the service to three other relatives which left them short of time for the people it was actually booked for.

She hated him?! I would have thought it was perfectly natural to mention the bride’s late father. Of course it would be an emotional moment, but I can’t imagine wanting my father’s absence ignored - and the idea that she hated her BIL for doing it makes me think she’s a pretty awful person.

The bride's parents came for the wedding ceremony and photos afterwards but then went home when everyone else went to the reception. The reason- they had to get home for the dog. Bride was visibly upset. Just awful!

Hmm. DS got married last summer.

Guests went like this:

US: DH's sisters and DC, their grandparents, aunts, uncles and godparents. About 24.

DIL's side about the same, another 24.

52, including us and ILs :).

There was room for 110 to sit down at the reception. Therefore DS and DIL had about 60 invitations to play with.

The cost was split between DIL's parents and us. If DS or DIL had wanted more friends the reception would have been a buffet or they could have stumped up the extra cost. They chose. They paid for their honeymoon.

Lovely service at 2pm, lovely meal at 6ish after canapés and drinks, light music and dancing until carriages at 11pm. Nobody had to pay for a drink.

The bride had one bridesmaid, her frock was quite Boho and not terribly expensive. Flowers, cake and the B&G donated the cost of favors to a homeless charity.

Bo chocolate fountain, no photo booth, no idiocy. Just good food, wine, music and bonhomie

The thing is, it just triggered her and her Mum - they honestly audibly wept throughout the reception. She was furious - I think she thought he should have said nothing, although I can understand him saying it.
It was a pity. No-one knew what to do.

So selfish, and absolutely wrong of her to add three more people to the hair/makeup service at your expense. It’s like some of these parents and in-laws think the day belongs to them.

I’ve been to a wedding where I was at the service but then only invited to the evening do. At least the church was only 5 minutes from my house so it wasn’t so bad.

I went to the hen night too. It was dreadful. The bride is a perfectly lovely lady and a very strait laced Christian who was saving herself. The hen night was just a night out but it was all willies and sex stuff. Really embarrassing.

Best man didn't get a wedding gift. Found that rather odd. His parents were invited to the evening too and they didn't bother either.
Bridesmaid didn't like the bridesmaids dresses that were chosen. In the evening she changed into a different dress.
Another guest not really dressing up for the occasion. Very casual.
Groom's parents inviting people that weren't really anything to do with the couple getting married.
These were all people on the groom's side coincidentally🤭

My friend 20-odd years ago. Her DM said she wouldn't go if friend's DF went. DF graciously said he would stay away. DM then:-
-Turned up at church after the bride and came in very noisily.
-Insisted that no food be served at the reception until after an England match had been shown on a big screen. Match went to penalties I think.
-Spent that time getting riotously drunk.
-Insisted on dancing with the groom and actually grinded on him.
-Spilled red wine on my friend's wedding dress.
-Fell down some stairs at the end of the night and broke her ankle. Friend spent her wedding night in a&e with her DM.

Evening do, bride told me it was a steam punk wedding and that I should wear something steampunky. My partner at the time, a couple of friends and I spent ages cobbling something together only to find that the wedding wasn't remotely steampunk and everyone wondered who the group of strangely dressed weirdos were 😂

1. My SiL Didn’t speak to me the whole day, refused to be in photos, made passive aggressive remarks to my new husband (her brother) about how I was getting all his attention and to top it off she hacked the wedding cake to pieces and put it in Tupperware boxes for her work colleagues (who I hadn’t met). I only found out when she was packing it in the car. When the cake went missing I assumed the venue had taken it to the kitchen to cut it up for guests. I was fuming (and very teary). My venue did apologise (SiL didn’t) but I didn’t get any proper piece of my cake. She’s a complete dickhead.

2. My sister. She gave me £2.56 loose change as a present. She’s not poor. I gave her a kitchen aid for her wedding. We rarely talk now and she wonders why. Can’t say I’m that fused as she told me quite clearly what she thinks of me.

Have been to loads of reception only weddings, it's not an issue and usually for acquaintances, work colleagues etc.. not a problem, usually local and may include going to be there outside the church if handy.

The invite to fly a couple of hours away to be chucked out of the venue (where the ceremony was to be held) was insulting not only because of the clear hierarchy among what we had all thought were equally close friends but also as this couple had already attended many of our groups large and very generous weddings including free bar and all day food (pre dinner snacks, 3 course meals and evening buffet)

Went to a friends from schools wedding as a day and evening guest.

Wedding ceremony was lovely.

Reception was utter shite. They went off for a slap up 3 course meal with their close family and all their other guests (about 60 people) were left to mill around with a sandwich each and a glass of orange squash. There was a disco after all that and there was no proper food there either. Once that was discovered the room emptied like it was on fire. Dh and I went to the pub for a meal.