To Ask if You are Materialistic?

[BeLikeThatSometimes]

And if so, is there anything wrong with it?

I have dreamt about nice clothes and “stuff” in general as far as I remember back, perhaps because we had limited budget growing up and nobody was spoilt.

Now reasonably successful professional, my tastes and aspirations are different but I still think a lot about material things and how they make life more enjoyable and beautiful. My friends and parents are not like this, my mother is big on culture, my grown up daughter values experiences more, and I feel shallow and indulgent I’m comparison, obsessing over prospect of new hand towels, shoes, body lotion, bedding, garden furniture etc. Not a hoarder but always something “next on the list” to research, check out etc - not always buy!

Anyone else like this?

I grew up witnessing extreme wealth while being from just an upper middle class family, used to be willing to do anything for money. I realised that I can't afford to be materialistic due to my upbringing. I have made peace with the fact that I'll probably never be thrilled and fully satisfied with anything I own, because whatever I own I've probably seen someone I know owning a much better version of it. I've adjusted myself to want material things that 'matter', rather than status symbol items.

for example I buy second hand furniture, my phone, tv and laptop are all 5+ years old, but I own a 5 bed house with a big private garden in an expensive location, because privacy, safety and good connection to london are what matter to me, shinny new furniture and the latest gadgets aren't. h and ils are very impressed with the house, while me and my parents find it nice but slightly underwhelming. 1 week after moving in I was window shopping for a fancier house with an even bigger garden in a more desirable location, and have convinced h to aspire to move into one in the future. same with the car, it's a posh-ish car bought on cash with the intention to keep for 10 years, was very happy with it, still happy with it and have grown attached to it emotionally, but doesn't stop me from window shopping for a bigger car as it's more spacious inside providing more comfort.

it's like whatever I get I'll immediately want the fancier version of it, it's preventing me from gaining much joy from material things.

No but my sister and sil are both like this. We were not poor growing up, went to bed with fill bellies but only dad worked and mum was a sahm. As a family of 6 eating out was a luxury as was having more than one birthday present. In general I'm still one for saving for a rainy day and hate the thought of not having a buffer. I do like nice things but am not massively into brands or believe that more expensive is better. I tend to spend money on experiences though, we didn't travel much as kids (went to a lot of theme park day trips) but not for a weekend away. I do like to go for a long weekend away in the UK when we get chance.

My sister grew up in the same household but always felt more hard done by that dad couldn't afford certain things. It's caused her no end on grief as she's always chasing money.

My sil was raised by a single mum who did her best but with 3 kids and no job had to rely on family to provide the basics for her kids (grew up overseas). She married bil who earns well. She openly admits to buying her kids whatever they want because her mum was unable ti do the same. It's understandable but nephew now asks the minute you step through the door what you have got him. If my dh buys me jewellery or I treat myself then she must have the same.

I would say yes, although now in a healthy way.

When I was young we had no money and although I would occasionally covet something, generally it didn't register. I then went to a school which had quite a big bullying problem and having the 'right' bag / shoes / coat etc offered a degree of protection. I wasn't popular or confident, but having the right things was a bit of currency. Same in the work place I spent most of my career. I absolutely used stuff as a way of cultivating an image and making up for where I felt I lacked.

Now I'm out of those environments it matters less to me. When pushed, actually what I value is security and I'm now less inclined to buy stuff frivolously. I'm naturally a home bird so although experiences are a higher priority now, I still prefer to be at home and invest there. I appreciate things that are beautiful and well made and buy the best quality I can. But I'm less compulsive now and understand my triggers.

I've never judged others explicitly. But I know I would be ranking myself based on how well I perceived others to be doing. I'm glad I've moved on from that and don't wrap my self worth up in what I own any more. I love shopping and like nice things, but it's for the right reasons now thankfully.

Everyone's materialistic, just some to a higher degrees than others. Unless you are wandering the wild with just the clothes on your back and living off the land. I dont think there are many of them on mn.