To Ask if You are Materialistic?

[BeLikeThatSometimes]

And if so, is there anything wrong with it?

I have dreamt about nice clothes and “stuff” in general as far as I remember back, perhaps because we had limited budget growing up and nobody was spoilt.

Now reasonably successful professional, my tastes and aspirations are different but I still think a lot about material things and how they make life more enjoyable and beautiful. My friends and parents are not like this, my mother is big on culture, my grown up daughter values experiences more, and I feel shallow and indulgent I’m comparison, obsessing over prospect of new hand towels, shoes, body lotion, bedding, garden furniture etc. Not a hoarder but always something “next on the list” to research, check out etc - not always buy!

Anyone else like this?

I'm not. Grew up standard working class, now standard middle class. DH and I both chose public / third sector jobs, despite the fact we could both earn more in the private sector. But money just isn't important to me (beyond having enough to live). So I have the smallest house out of all my friends, the oldest car (10+ years and 100,000 + miles on the clock), an old phone and zero interest in clothes, bags or shoes. However, I do love books and have a zillion books! But, I feel the exception to the norm around here. Most of my friends talk about their latest cars, their nice foreign holidays, have their nails done etc etc. none of this interests me. But horses for courses... were all different and that's what makes the world go round,

Grew up with a lot of anxiety around money and my folks were still very tight with money when they had enough to relax with

They paid for me to sail through university with no major money worries and paid my rent while I did an ma so they were v v generous around education but point blank refused to pay a penny toward things they considered frivolous like my wedding christenings etc
Sadly killed in car accident and it's taken me 15 years to stop explaining to visitors why I live in a house that is " above " by earnings of a teacher ... always feel like I have to explain the tragic reason behind my " good fortune"

One " friend" was clearly jealous post her divorce and during her struggle to find a nice house made a few comments so I had to remind her several times....I Was not "lucky"

Give me nice friends and family every day
But you are not wrong to enjoy a posh fluffy towel

I don't think liking nice things has to = expensive/wasteful. I had to downsize significantly after my divorce and it was very freeing to get rid of so much clutter. Everything in my home now has to fit the old saying of either beautiful or useful because there's no room for anything that doesn't earn its keep. I also need to watch the pennies but I love being surrounded by nice things that make me happy regardless of how much they cost - I've got a beautiful old cabinet that I bought with a small inheritance which I love as much as my books or a bunch of fresh flowers. I guess materialistic is just buying for the sake of it or for the designer name or placing too much value on 'stuff' for the wrong reasons - whatever they might be!

I've never been a 'stuff' person as I'm not very careful. My things often end up lost or damaged.
But I like nice clothes and makeup. Don't buy a lot though as it would be wasted.
Like nice art etc for interior decorations but once I have the look no desire to change it.

I was. I was compensating for a shit, abusive marriage. I thought it would make me happy.

Now I am very happily single with lots of expensive stuff. I do still buy stuff, but not for the sake of it. My purchases now are much more considered and less impulsive.

I do think people have different definitions.
'Materialistic' to me has that element of keeping up with the Joneses. Always chasing.
Those who look down their nose at 'stuff' and value 'experiences'. Same thing to me. Things like travel for example can be more wasteful and damaging to the environment. It's all constant consumption.

As I've become older and more of a homebody I've come to appreciate nice things more. Appreciate looking good etc more as I feel better about myself.

But I buy what I want, after lots of research and that's it. I'm not constantly on the move, not constantly updating decor etc.

I'm not materialistic. It's just stuff / clutter

No. But I’ve spent a fortune on travelling and holidays/experiences.

I don’t even use a handbag any more, I have a phone case that holds my cards and I use pockets for my keys.

Had very little money in the house growing up.

Bit of a mix. I like luxury skin and hair care, shower stuff and body lotion, enjoy cruises in faraway places but OTOH couldn’t care less about designer clothes, shoes or handbags.

It's subjective to an extent, isn't it?

I remember a story on here once by a woman whose absolute priority was to be a SAHM, although her partner didn't earn well. In five years they had never been on holiday except one extremely cheap seaside short break, she admitted she was wearing clothes with holes, they had a tiny house and no chance of buying and had to budget food extremely strictly. For her it was worth it to be a SAHM. I don't mind admitting I'm more materialistic than that. I'm glad she was happy, but I'd be miserable.

Yes, very, and I’m not ashamed of that. Money and things dont bring happiness at all, most of my spare income goes towards making myself financially secure so that I’m not a burden on my children followed closely by making them financially secure also, that they’re not a burden on anybody. As I say, I can’t buy happiness, but I’d rather cry in a Porsche than a bus stop.

Yes and no

I think for some people it's easy to say "they are not materialistic" when they have an easy lifestyle. Fine, they worked for it, but when you can buy any gadget, furniture, appliance when you need them and chose the best quality, you don't even have to think about it.

Designer items are too accessible to mean anything nowadays. If they look good, use them, but there are not a symbol of anything anymore. You can buy them second hand for next to nothing, there's too many fakes around, and you can rent anything .

Hell yes. Not bothered about designer, I do like quality, but most of all I love shopping. Have too much stuff in my house, but I'm also quite good at selling so it does move out sooner or later if not used.

Am I proud that I'm a shopper? No. Does it bother me enough to deal with it? No. I live within my means. What I am trying to do is not buy stuff just because it's in the sale, which I think is my actual downfall. If I don't wear it within the returns period, it's going back to the shop.

materialistic

adjective
excessively concerned with physical comforts or the acquisition of wealth and material possessions, rather than with spiritual, intellectual, or cultural values.

No, I'm definitely not materialist. My money goes on experiences or in the bank for rainy days.

I'm not. But I do value money as to me it is freedom. I've always valued being able to pay for experiences more than objects but can totally understand wanting nice things.

Yes, a bit like OP nobody was spoilt in our house growing up. So I do take delight in having extra things. I don't have particularly expensive tastes though (ie labels don't really interest me), but I do like pretty rather than just practical. I enjoy collecting some things that were out of reach as a child and although some people do that but feel it's an anticlimax, I do that and really enjoy it.

I grew up in a working class household with a DM that has a love of all things designer. She had awful priorities and ruled the roost, so a lot of money seemed to go on what seemed like needless spending to me.

My sisters and I are very frugal by comparison. That said, we're all willing to spend on good quality items where it is worth the investment. I always spend more on items that will have a low cost per use over their lifetime. So, I'll buy a high end laptop every five years or so because I know it will add practical value to my life. I can't say I didn't enjoy opening the shiny new laptop for the first time and setting it all up, but that feeling doesn't drive me to spend.

Overall, I would say I do enjoy nice things but only if they bring practical value to my life.

I grew up very poor and I'm doing okay - I like treating myself to things - it's self care - I mean I'm not obsessed with designer stuff - I got deep green, velvet platform sandals in Primark for £3 the other day that made me happy!

I do have a bit of a handbag fetish but only in the under £200 range - I love them and they make me feel good, ditto skin care and bath stuff - but only when I can afford it.

I work hard and deserve the odd treat

There's a difference between liking nice stuff because it make you happy, and "keeping up with the Jones" as PP says.

I love stuff. I love good quality stuff. But my buzz comes from the shopping. But then I could spend all day shopping for a peg bag lol. Looking at all the options, substitute items, reviews, and then, getting what I want for the absolute cheapest price possible. I'm great at saving too, I don't spend what I can't afford, but I love shopping and I often root round charity shops then resell on eBay which both satisfies my spending itch, but makes me money on the resale. I love selling and making money as much as I love buying. I adore a bargain. We've got the most beautiful dining table - new £4k, found poorly advertised with crap pictures online and got it for £500, in new condition, and chairs - 8 of them, £795 each, new for the chairs and £1095 for the carvers...£7k. I paid £180 the lot, as the pale fabric had sun bleached. Re dyed them in a colour I wanted, they are now bespoke to us and look brand new. If you buy quality, it lasts, and you can often tweak and refurb along their lifespan. It makes me happy that our home looks beautiful, I spend a lot of time here and my surroundings make a difference.

I have bags worth thousands. I use them, love them and will pass them to DD, they've only gone up in value, so I am pleased I invested. I have a few Hermes things (alas no Birkin) but I like them because of how they look, not because I can flash a brand. I'm happy when I wear my bracelet. I remember the day I bought it, it was a good day, I found out I was expecting DTwins. We have an antique rocking horse, that I bought and had restored for DS1 with my first big pay packet. He's gorgeous. He cost lots. He'll be passed down. It's an object that I find beautiful and I love having. Owning it brings me happiness, and there's nowt wrong with that.

I think people need to piss off with the judgey attitude that stuff can't bring happiness, because to many people, it can. The scenario that Mary is happiest riding her horse. Sue is happiest when she gets a nice piece of jewellery. But somehow Mary thinks she can look down on Sue because her happiness isn't an experience or cultural? Fuck off Mary

I'm not at all fussed about clothes, shoes, beauty products etc. I spend very little on those. But I do buy lots of hobby stuff, collectables etc. I'm a maximalist and I love having things to look at in my home. I also like to travel and always need to bring something back with me. I find that when I then look at the item, it brings back the memories of that time in a way that just thinking about it doesn't. I need/like that visual cue. I always buy things for my home that to me, are beautiful. It makes me happy seeing them every day.

I like experiences, but when it's over, it's over. "Stuff" is with you for as long as you want it to be. I had nothing growing up so maybe that's a part of it? I don't know. But minimalist homes genuinely make me feel depressed and anxious. The same way "clutter" puts many people on edge, a home devoid of anything personal puts me on edge!

I am quite materialistic but more in the way of if all the bills are paid and I see stuff I want I’ll buy it, we work bloody hard day in and day out and buying bits and Bob I’ve wanted does bring me joy as does going away weekends, having a nice car etc

No I'm too scruffy. I could spend a lot on a house.. but that's about it.

Like holidays etc. more than "stuff".

I'd be more materalistic if I had more money 😂 or when my expensive teenage dc start uni/apprenticeships and I'm not funding them anymore!

I'm rubbish at throwing things out. I'd love not to care about material things but unfortunately I grew up poor, then I moved around loads in care, I just feel better having things. I would love to be easy and free and not have belongings weighing me down and to live in a van, but it's not me.

I do love experiences, I'd rather spend money on a night out than a handbag. But I do want to look good with nice clothes for my night out! Or I want a nice bikini to go surfing in! But my definition of nice isn't everyones, I don't need high end designer, I just like to wear nice things to do nice things.

This is so true. Memories are very attached to possessions in our house.

Just because some of those possessions have a larger monetary value, doesn't mean there's a stigma of materialism. My first teddy is a threadbare monkey. Brings me great happiness. The Prada belt I bought and wore the day I met another employer for lunch and bagged a job with a massive payrise, that my idiot boyf at the time told me I had no hope of getting. Brings me happiness. The fridge magnet I have from my first trip abroad at 17 with my friends, that we bought beyond hungover as we ran through the airport having missed our connecting coach, but we weren't leaving without a fridge magnet. Brings me great happiness. My super high designer shoes, from when I dated someone in the public eye, and I'd buy a new pair as a treat, and I can remember where I wore each pair. Probably ten pairs in my closet. I'd never wear them now, I'm too old and would look like a tottery twat But, they are things of beauty. I love looking at them. I love having them. My stuff. All a part of my life and remind me of the journey.