To Ask if You are Materialistic?

[BeLikeThatSometimes]

And if so, is there anything wrong with it?

I have dreamt about nice clothes and “stuff” in general as far as I remember back, perhaps because we had limited budget growing up and nobody was spoilt.

Now reasonably successful professional, my tastes and aspirations are different but I still think a lot about material things and how they make life more enjoyable and beautiful. My friends and parents are not like this, my mother is big on culture, my grown up daughter values experiences more, and I feel shallow and indulgent I’m comparison, obsessing over prospect of new hand towels, shoes, body lotion, bedding, garden furniture etc. Not a hoarder but always something “next on the list” to research, check out etc - not always buy!

Anyone else like this?

I am a bit like you but I didn’t really think of it as being materialistic. I just think I have a great aesthetic 🤪 Or actually several of them…
In all seriousness life is very short. If having beautiful things that you enjoy makes you happy then go for it! I enjoy a huge variety of cultural things (mostly local) as well as buying things that I like - the two aren’t mutually exclusive if you can afford it and you are financially secure.
Of course there is a responsibility to the planet too so I try to recycle, mend, charity shop etc and buy ethically as far as possible.

I used to love stuff. Cupboards full of charity shop finds, bathroom stuffed with bargain cosmetics. But I'm now getting really annoyed with stuff that's not good quality and would rather have one well made item that fits we and lasts over 100 cheap bargains.
I still spend a ton more on travelling and experiences though.

I am materialistic.

I cherish having a beautiful home and I am a real home bird.

I don’t waste money though and I never replace anything unless it needs replacing.

I hate clutter, so will give things to charity or eBay them, if they are surplus to requirements.

In an ideal world, I would love to explore the world (more), but I have always wanted to avoid the empty feeling of coming back to nothing.

If you can have both, you are a very lucky person.

I’ve got to admit I’ve never understood the draw of accumulating stuff, but I know everyone is different! The thing I judge is when people start to equate stuff—designer labels, nice cars, etc—with their (and others’) value and worth as people. My SIL is super materialistic, and I find her exhausting to be around because she is constantly comparing what she has to what everyone else has, and she is quite happy to try to make people feel like shit if she thinks she is ‘winning’. Beyond making sure you have decent-looking and comfortable things, spending loads on stiff like shoes, handbags, furniture, etc just feels like a waste to me.

I’m probably more like your other family members who value culture and experiences (we have a major budget line for travel), and I actually resent having to spend money on stuff like towels and furniture when we could spend it on fun stuff to do as a family. Personally, I feel like experiences are appreciating assets in that the memories grow better and more precious with time, whereas the shine of buying stuff fades really quickly. However, not everyone is like that! It is just as odious when people become smug and judgy about travel and culture, viewing their and others’ worth though that lense and making value judgments about other people’s lifestyle choices.

I think that as long as you are happy to live within your means and you realize that your and others’ value does not lie in what you own, then go for it. Different things make different people happy!

Less is more.
Less things but I value them more.

I love nice things. I’m exactly the same as OP, while I was growing up we were skint (actually we weren’t but my Ps would only spend on my DBs, different story). Anyway, now I have money. I have worked like crazy for 35 years, I have no mortgage, plenty of savings for a secure future, DS has launched and I can spend on frivolities for myself. I can lose hours looking around the web for the nice thing I want, I prowl for bargains once I have chosen and I look at the lovely things I have and they make me happy. And, yes, my cat’s water bowl is Le Creuset and it matches my kettle!

No, I prefer experiences. I like to spend money on things like garden furniture that will allow us to better enjoy our outdoor space. I like me and my children to look well presented. But I wouldn’t generally spend hundreds of pounds on something that isn’t especially useful (like a designer bag or something). I’d rather spend the money on a nice meal, a weekend away or a day out for the children.

I like to buy good quality things that I use frequently, like knives, pans, blender, oven, bed, sofa, tv, a reliable and practical (not fancy) car, shoes and winter coats, printer, laptop etc. My DH collects whisky and work tools. We have a valuable piano and rugs but that's about it for splurges. I have a couple of nice bags and sunglasses pre-dating kids but wouldn't buy more.

@BackAgainstWall

You don’t sound especially materialistic. My mother in law has beautiful items in her beautiful home but will replace a sofa after a year because, because, because (because she’s materialistic and always has some form of excuse to buy something new). I mean each to their own, but she doesn’t actually have that much money and then stresses she has no money. I find that bizarre.

Some people have so much money a new sofa each year is neither here nor there but to stress yourself out over that when you can’t really afford it is mental.

We also only have one set of bedding.

I'd say no. Not really into things, would also rather have experiences. I'd happily spend a small fortune on a michelin restaurant but would feel really uncomfortable owning an expensive handbag.
My husband has bought me gifts before and has had to say 'it's not as expensive as you are thinking!'. He got me something for Xmas once that was faulty and was happy when I exchanged it that a) it wasn't as expensive as I thought it was and b) it was now in the sale and I got the replacement at the sale price!

Me too!

Not really. I don’t have a problem with people who are though. If you work hard, and love cars, or nice clothes, or whatever, then good luck to you. So long as you aren’t too selfish and greedy, materialism can be a good thing. People who take pride in their house, polish their car, dress well, etc, make the world a more attractive place.

Personally, I work hard and save for the sake of my mental health. I’m a profoundly introverted person. I crave space and silence. Well, I don’t just crave them, I need them. If I had to live on a big housing estate, with noisy, intrusive neighbours, it would be a death sentence. Unfortunately, to have peace and quiet in this crowded island you need money. I’d sacrifice everything - nice house, big car, expensive restaurants, etc, - just for space and light and silence. Silence, space, books, and green fields, those are the things I want. If I had a big, empty, sunlit room lined with books, and a view of fields out the window, I could live on minimum wage, wear the same old clothes each day, eat my dinner out of tins, etc, and be perfectly happy.

I like nice things I don't like lots of things! I'm also a big believer in the phrase buy cheap you buy twice! I'd rather have 2 decent quality handbags that will last me than 10 cheap ones

I tend to buy quality in sales (but not designer) and expect any item to last. I only buy what I love and when they are worn out I try and replace with broadly the same thing. I’ve had everyday handbags for 12 + years and the leather has been immaculate but had to replace as insides shabby. I’ve had my last two cars for 13 years each, current one I love and it’s still going strong.

Holidays on the other hand, if I’m not having 5 a year I’m not happy

This, well said. Who wants to be the richest in the cemetary. Life is for living.

Not that it happens often but what if one of you is sick or shits the bed?

Why not get a spare set?

I’m not materialistic as such but I do like the comfort of financial security and money in the bank. So so important to me and the main driver for my career.

This.

I used to be materialistic but I realised:

• it's clutter
• it's bad for the environment
• it's a waste of time (shopping)
• it's a huge waste of money

You could travel, retire early, have experiences, etc.

Nothing wrong with appreciating quality of items and buying when you need them but living in the pursuit of stuff is depressing.

I don't think it's materialistic to buy nice things as long as you can afford to do so. I think it's materialistic to judge the value of someone as a person by what they own or what they earn.

No I'm not materialistic at all

Old car, old phone, don't really buy clothes or shoes. Appliances all ten years old, anything that's newer is because the previous one had broken so no choice but to replace

Even the items I use for my hobby are ten or more years old

I just don't have the urge to have to constantly have the latest phone or watch or car. I'm just very easily pleased and happy with what I have

My parents are the same. My Dad divorced over thirty years ago and he still has all the same plates, cups, cutlery from when my Mum lived there

Haha. In our 20 years together, that's never happened!
If it did, I guess we'd strip the bed and sleep with the bare mattresss and duvet, which at that point would be the least of our worries 😏

I wouldn’t say I’m materialistic I’m retired love nice things but my nice things do not come with huge price tags,

It's an interesting question. I guess in a way, I am materialistic.

I've just moved house recently and have spent thousands on all new furniture, pictures, TV, dining table, sofas. I didn't need to buy any of it. I had loads of stuff already, but I've chucked it all and bought new.

In my defence, this is my first house which is just mine alone, having lived 13yrs prior with a man who refused to do any decorating or buy anything new. I may have got a little excited and carried away