To Ask if You are Materialistic?

[BeLikeThatSometimes]

And if so, is there anything wrong with it?

I have dreamt about nice clothes and “stuff” in general as far as I remember back, perhaps because we had limited budget growing up and nobody was spoilt.

Now reasonably successful professional, my tastes and aspirations are different but I still think a lot about material things and how they make life more enjoyable and beautiful. My friends and parents are not like this, my mother is big on culture, my grown up daughter values experiences more, and I feel shallow and indulgent I’m comparison, obsessing over prospect of new hand towels, shoes, body lotion, bedding, garden furniture etc. Not a hoarder but always something “next on the list” to research, check out etc - not always buy!

Anyone else like this?

I've always been a saver rather than a spender so I was able to give up work early. Now my time is my own and that's more valuable to me than any new item.

I love my fridge magnets from everywhere I've gone 🥰

And candles and plants. It makes me so happy to light my candles, have nice bath oil, eat off my bone china plates. I like material things that are part of an experience.

Do experiences count as materialistic? I've always valued travel and experiences over tangible stuff. That seems to be more morally acceptable but I don't know why. If travel and experiences count, then yes, I am materialistic.

It depends on what you want. A new fridge because the one you have is to small and you find yourself shopping more often than you want? Time is money so if you could afford it why not buy it?

A new dress that will help you feel amazing? As long as you are able to afford it and know that you are buying the item because the way it makes you feel. I see nothing wrong with that. But buying channel perfume and not buying food for the house, that is excessive.

I would also suggest buying gold or other things that hold their value whilst looking great. Is a good idea.

I get less materialistic as I get older. I used to be into spend, spend, spend on designer handbags, clothes, jewellery pre kids but these days I'm more into experiences - theatre, nice restaurants, holidays or the free/cheap stuff like a walk in the woods, coffee in the sun. It's a constant battle with 2 teens in the house trying to not accumulate stuff and when we moved and everything was boxed up it felt quite satisfying - I could have happily not unboxed anything!

I'm fussy so it works out that when I do see something that I like, I know I'll love it for practically decades, and I prefer to invest in something that's long lasting as it feels more ethical. I dislike waste.

DM on the other hand, constantly buys shite. She buys us stuff off the sale rail that we would never wear, just because it's on sale. She would baulk at buying you a good quality swim suit for £20 but thinks nothing of buying you £15 quids worth of mismatched skimpy bikini triangles and thongs priced at a quid each. (I'm nearly 50, decades since the window I could wear that kind of stuff!!) Or she'll buy you cheap toiletries and make up but she doesn't know what she's buying as she herself is a no-makeup and Pears soap person. It's frustrating because I don't want anything off her, and it means I feel guilty about sending crap to landfill! I've a dressing gown for 12 years that I hated on sight when she gave it to me but I felt I had to get wear out of it. It's thankfully almost at the point where it's dog bedding and I can't wait to treat myself to one I love.

But what pisses me off the most is the people who pontificate and mock others about their capitilast and materialistic ways. One family member who claimed to be vegan would routinely sneer at us for not living authentically and being slaves to the grind and without any irony, only drive a certain car and expect us to prop up their sponger lifestyle with our capitalist incomes when their ad-hoc work ethic didnt' bring in the funds their lifestyle required. I also caught them putting recyclables in the landfill bin on too many occasions. And also caught them red handed in a McDonalds scoffing a big mac. Twat.

So by all means be as materialistic or non materialistic as you like, just don't impact on others because of it.

Yes, as I love gadgets, the latest phone etc, but can't afford it.

No, because I see them as just "stuff" that as PPs have said, bring no more happiness in reality than you imagined them to bring. I think there's a study which shows how the desire to acquire the latest insert item here is what gives the brain a dopamine fix/high. The actual acquisition of said item then becomes an anti climax once the novelty has worn off, and the time this takes is supposedly short.

Plus, having had horrible health problems over the past 8 years including a head injury, post concussion syndrome, and a medication induced neurological involuntary movement disorder (that is a bit like Tourette's and Parkinson's disease combined), I'd swap every material item in a heartbeat to have good health again. My health is far more valuable than any item every would be.

Everyone is different and there's nothing wrong with valuing material things
I've always been frugal and happy with what I have materially
If I won the lottery, my only want would be a small bungalow with a garden kitted out for my needs as I'm disabled.
I'm content with my GF flat and what matters is people( and my dog!)

This is the thing though, yes people are more important than things but if you don't have "people" then at least the things can bring you some happiness!

I had an abused and neglected upbringing and we were dirt poor. Money/things don't make up for a lack of love of course but not having anything makes it a whole lot worse. Maybe that's why I like "things". They are mine and no one can take them from me. People can hurt you, let you down etc.

I like nice stuff yes and good quality. I hate wasting/frittering money though and I'm trying to acquire less stuff. So I do spend a lot of time researching and planning what to buy, but I don't have the urge to spend and acquire stuff for the thrill of it. But the stuff I do buy is important to me. I hate people borrowing my stuff or not treating it properly. So I would say I am materialistic. That isn't the same as being a spendthrift which I think is what some people think the word means.

I hate people borrowing my stuff as well @honeylulu but I'm generous in that I'm happy to host, cook lovely food and all the hosting costs, but I will not want to let you borrow my hair dryer because I know my friends and I won't get it back for months even though I'm also rubbish at remembering to give stuff back.

Dreaming about what I would buy if I had the money was so much better than being able to buy whatever I like. Experiences mean so much more to me than buying yet another expensive gadget, bigger home, or another car. H is very materialistic, I’m minimal & can’t see any point in all this greedy bollocks.

100% This.

I never, ever daydream about the amount of shiny new stuff I could buy if I was richer. The only thing I ever dream about is being able to afford to give up work and, for however long I have left on this planet, my time being my own.

I don't seem to fit into any of the categories, I like nice things but to use them in the present, can't remember the past and don't treasure items/things given to me very much (possibly if someone painted a picture for me). I want the house to look nice so guests can come over without embarrassment, but I don't want to do decorating/buying stuff to put in it, an all neutral house someone else styled would be fine for me, the only exception is (cheap) flowers which I love.

As for experiences, I don't really want much on that front either, I've had a lot of experiences in life, some good, some terrible. I don't like travelling. I like a boring domestic life.

I'd rather achieve things than have things or experience things, I feel pride in doing something either worthwhile or impressive, and that also impresses me more in other people, certainly than material things although there is a level of non-materialism (sponging off others, wearing very old things on purpose) that is irritating.

I think I am!
However the older I get it’s not about the amount of stuff I buy it’s the quality - over the years I’ve upgraded most of my personal possessions like clothes, shoes, bags and jewellery
I love good quality towels, bedding etc
Cars don’t bother me (10 years old) or furniture - I always buy second hand classics and like retro style
Whilst I don’t have a lot of leisure time - I do spend on experiences whether that be holidays, meals out or concerts, theatre etc. I was only saying to DS last night after a comedy gig I’m not going to end up on my death bed saying that I wish I’d done a lot less and saved the money

Yes and no. Also grew up v poor and live nice things but that doesn't mean you place them over people does it? Anyway everyone is different, don't feel bad

I'm generally more of an experiences than items person, but not exclusively.

Fashion is art, so buying something you love can be a cultural moment. It's also an experience you you enjoy. Don't judge yourself everyone likes different things and one isn't better than the other.

There was a time that I was i suppose.

But i soon fou d out what really means something to me when i had to move home in a hurry.

Just about every room in my old house had a 'Side' where things always lived.
Looking on the living room 'side' at all the beautiful things I loved for a day when I bought them from that little shop on the backstreet, or the big Dunelm in the city, or the little cute sparkly thing I saw in The Range when i went to buy a hammer.
Looking on the Bathroom 'Side' at all the potions and bottled promises of fewer wrinkles and less aging.
In the Bedroom and on that 'side' at the jewellery box filled with costly but meaningless cut stones and glass, reflecting empty promises of partners that have long since gone and forgotten.
It all fades into obscurity in favour of toothbrush, pants and deodorant. If I had room for crap off the 'sides' I had room to pack more of daughters toys.

I got to the smaller house and unpacked and years have ticked by.
It's not until this MN thread that I've thought back to all those little odds and ends and possessions I once had that I never replaced because, here, now, i realise that my daughter is safe, fed, warm and secure and that's worth more to me than any possession I could purchase.
I kitted my house out from the charity shops and as daft as it sounds, my used £50 sofa with the inexplicable stain on the back seems more comfortable to me now than the £1800 sofa that I bought with the person I left it with...

(This has been a Blog Post brought to you by a Sunday Morning Nostalgia Trip 🤪 I almost deleted it, but I posted it, sorry)

I don’t enjoy shopping but I do emotionally attach to things I own and find it very hard to rid of them. I dress in a vintage style so largely ignore fashion. I hand wash Dresses - Many of which I have had and worn regularly for 15 years. To keep my stuff down I don’t buy much.

I do get rid of underwear/ shoes/ sports wear & work wear etc. when it needs to go & no longer looks wearable so I’m not a total hoarder. It’s fun dresses/looks that I love.

my mum used to make me bin stuff periodically and it used to make me cry…

i have a house with an attic & a lot of cupboards. Everything is away and stored with acid paper - cycling through the seasons in my accessible wardrobe. So in the sense thar I love of stuff I am very materialistic. But I deal with it by not buying things.

Different people have different things that bring them joy. I also dressmake and so does my mum and so did my grandmother so I will never get rid of something made for me. (also it means I can flex my clothes to my size to some degree if they are wellmade.)

I barely knew my grandmother due to living in a different country but I still have a dress she made. Plan on handing down the family. Figure if they don’t want it they can get rid of it when I’m not looking.

I like EVERYTHING - and that's a PROBLEM (have adhd traits)

I love 'stuff' (almost always second hand), AND experiences (go to concerts/theatre/sport as often as possible)
AND time, peace, seaside, reading, pets, garden...

Basically I'm a Maximillist 🤷‍♀️

This, exactly how I feel!

I will anonymously beg that if you know your friend attaches to stuff please please don’t buy her knickknacks for gifts. You’ve just given me a thing I will have for the rest of my days. I’d have preferred the boots hand soap which I would have used, complemented you on… I know I display your gift front and centre. And this was fine in my 20s when I had less stuff. But now…

I love beautiful things, I am unashamedly happy to have a collection of things I enjoy using and looking at. I want nothing in my home if it is not beautiful and functional.

I have fine china teapots and teacups that I use often with my family. I love beautiful clothes.

Are you me??