To ask how much did you ‘try’ to conceive

[Ooophelia]

Having decided we want to have a baby and after six months or so of not much happening, I’ve decided to take action and started tracking my cycles properly, using OPKs and temping.

Although DH is on board with this he seems pretty surprised how planned/unromantic it all is. I’ve since spent a bit of time educating him on how womens cycles work and how small the fertile window actually is and it feels like the idea of spontaneously dtd and then getting pregnant is quite far from reality! Just logistically since we started cycle tracking it’s required a bit of planning to make sure we’re in the same place at the right time. It’s got us wondering for how many couples does it just happen, and for how many does ttc require a bit more planning?

Every month for 8 years. It was brutal.

Just happened both times for me - first month with no 1 dc and second month for no 2 dc

Even though it happened quickly for us (3rd month for DC1 and 1st month for DC2 and DC3) I was using ovulation sticks and timing intercourse right from the beginning. So we did 'try' but were very lucky not to have to try for too long.

Yabu. I'm sure there is a conception board on Mumsnet, no need to ask on AIBU.

AIBU is for the petty stuff, not serious things like trying to conceive.

Hope it all works for you OP (10 or 11 cycles for my first child, 6 for my second).

Oh yeah it's the least romantic thing ever. I was always of the view that we'd just have plenty of sex and not worry about it too much. Then we actually decided we wanted kids and started trying, and it's amazing how much planning needs to come into it if you actually want to be successful.

Low point was doggedly going at it with about 5 minutes to spare in between different weekend commitments and him being unable to finish because we were both exhausted and totally not in the mood! But I'd got the flashing smiley face on the OPK stick so we just HAD to do it 🙈

We had issues conceiving and whilst seeing the consultant and going through test etc we were told to DTD every other day. First DD was clomid baby. Second was natural.

I stopped the pill and DTD every other day. Pregnant first month with DD. With DS, I stopped the pill when we decided any time from then on would be ok for a second.

Because it had been so easy the first time, I didn't pay much attention and a friend then announced she was pregnant. I decided I really wanted a second but I was already pregnant and our boys were born 5 days apart.

I do realise I was extremely fortunate and am in the minority.

Good luck with your TTC journey!

We tried naturally for 3 years before beginning IVF, and I cycled tracked/we tried to dtd on my fertile days every month of that time. Then we did 4 rounds of IVF which finally resulted in our DC.

It gets very tedious and unromantic when you know you're only doing it then because it's your fertile window. My husband struggled with it, with not feeling in the mood sometimes but there being pressure to get in the mood, and with not feeling like I really wanted to have sex with him just had.

2 cycles. My one and only. Take multivitamins/ folic acid? Speak to GP? That would help you.

We were under the care of a reproductive endocrinologist. I had to have a series of surgeries to make my uterus compatible with carrying a pregnancy. We were then out on a strict sex schedule. They didn’t have us bother with charting or temps. We had to have sex every other day. It sounds fun, but it gets old very quickly, especially when it is inconvenient and you are trying to find time in a really busy day.

we did get pregnant and have a child though.

First time it just happened. Second time we tried properly for 5 months with ovulation sticks etc. I just didn’t really mention when I was most fertile to DH so as not to add any extra pressure/kill the mood.

First 2 kids not at all. Even conceived the second while breastfeeding the first. Been trying for number 3 for over a year now. I’ve been tracking with ovulation tests but don’t seem to get a peak. Went for fertility MOT and all ok. We’re now doing private fertility treatment (just tracking with scans, some meds) to see if that helps.
No spontaneity anymore but with 2 kids under 6 there wasn’t much of that anyway. OH is just happy to be getting sex at all 🤣

First time with both of mine. Not tracking but I’m one of those weirdos who can feel ovulation and even which side I’m ovulating from

Every three days for 3 years for DD. Every other day even during fertility treatments for 10 years for DS - due to my complications our consultant said the usual risks around ttc during egg inductions didn’t apply.

For DS1, 5 months of proper trying. Tracking cycles, temperature, dtd every other day, preseed, opks, various dietary supplements. I went a bit crazy with it.

For DS2 I literally just came off the pill and got pregnant immediately.

DD took a little longer, about 8 months but not trying at all, apart from just not using contraception.

We just stopped using contraception. I got pregnant every time we had unprotected sex in my fertile period, although not every conception resulted in a live birth.

It varies widely. But in general, the best way to get pregnant is regular sex, and you can roughly know when you're fertile without peeing on anything at all as long as your periods aren't wildly irregular. It is generally not necessary, and often adds unnecessary stress, to start obsessively charting and monitoring from the get-go.

Women with pcos can feel it too. But often there isn’t an egg able to be released during ovulation lol

Tried naturally for 7 years last 3 of which I used OPKs and followed smep and vitamin plan from it starts with an egg. Investigations revealed unexplained infertility so we did two rounds of ivf - brutal. Agreed third time was our last went to a new Dr who agreed all we had done was right prepped us for ivf3 and boom just before we started I was pregnant. Fertility/ conception is not a given.

I tried from the start with both of mine and had been tracking my cycle before. I was lucky to conceive fairly quickly both times.

2 happy accidents- using condoms but probably not as scrupulously as we should have. Our one planned pregnancy took until the 4th months of unprotected sex but no tracking of fertility windows etc.

First time we didn’t really need to try, I didn’t track cycles, was pregnant within 2 months. Second time I had a surprise pregnancy which ended in MC. Then third time we had to try for about 5 months, it took a while for my cycles to settle after the MC. This time it was the only time we DTD that month and we weren’t actually trying 😬 I have been very lucky.

I used ovulation kits and conceived first month with both. Prob cos I used the kit. Tbh I could have waited til the line was stronger but I didn’t just had sex every other day for 3 days so not for 1 day.

Reading

I had unprotected sex once which resulted in DC1. Then again a couple of times and got pregnant, which ended in very early miscarriage. Then again another time the month after and had DS2. Thank god I was always super careful before we decided we wanted children or I could easily have ended up with an unwanted pregnancy.

First time both times for 2DC, then tried with kits and the like for 6months ttc DC3, found it miserable, started to question did we want a third because whole thing so unpleasant. Then decided to just stop all that and enjoy ourselves when we felt like it, not worry if not, which is where we are at now. But realise it’s easy to have that attitude when I already have 2, and can be ok if a third doesn’t happen.